Welcome 5768 (Article # 57) 9/20/2007

Although it seemed like 5767 lasted for three or four years instead of the usual 12 months, the last few weeks of the year seemed to really fly by. With the arrival of our new students, the beginning of the school year for our kids (and 4 out of 6 going to new schools) and the preparations for the Yamim Noraim (High Holidays) and Sukkot, there suddenly weren’t enough hours in the day to get things done.

On Erev Rosh Hashana the Yeshiva went to the Kotel for Selichot at midnight. The entire plaza was filled with people and was definitely a sight to see. The Sephardi minyanim were especially fascinating as they sang various responses and songs with one voice – as loud as they possibly could.

I had originally thought it would be a great experience, but was too overwhelmed by the sounds and sights to really get into it. There were too many people shouting for us to hear our Chazzan, and I didn’t feel as inspired as I thought I would be.

I had privately told a couple of people that I was a little worried about getting motivated for Davening on Rosh Hashana this year. Although you would think that having gone through such trials personally during the year that I would be especially charged, I actually found a lack of feeling as it approached.

We had gone through our own personal Yom HaDin (Day of Judgement) back in the months of April and May and have been so engulfed with Davening for health and recovery (which continues) that I felt almost drained by the time Rosh Hashana arrived. I’d been davening for a good result every day – not just Rosh Hashana, and felt that there was nothing left in my emotional tank. Plus, the enormity of what we have been through is still sifting down to us as we settle down.

Further complicating things for me was the lack of our oldest son Chaim by my side for the first time (he was in Yeshiva – 10 minutes away). Chaim has davened at my side on Chagim (Holidays) and most Shabbatot for the past ten years. With the next 3 siblings being girls, it will be another year or two before Mordechai is old enough to take Chaim’s place.

Chaim did join us (with 2 other guys from Yeshiva each meal) for two meals on Yom Tov, so we did get to see him. However, I definitely missed him in shul and I know Goldie missed him as well. I guess this is preparation for when he goes to college. *Sigh*

For the first day of Rosh Hashana I was definitely right about my davening. I tried to concentrate and immerse myself in the davening, but I just felt a little detached. Which is tough when davening starts at 7 AM and ends at 1:30 PM with no break (OK – so I came 20 minutes late – I was still there for hours).

I wrote an email to a couple of friends about the second day of Yom Tov. Here is an excerpt.

I sat in Shul on Friday during laining, and I watched one neighbor walk over to 2 other fellows in shul and make a comment to them and see their interaction and interpersonal reactions and I started to cry. No way around admitting it.…when I saw the easy comfort those fellows had with each other it really hit home for me how much I miss you. It is not easy to find friends with whom you can say anything or hear them say anything to you and know that they are OK with you. It is even harder to have friends with whom a 5 minute discussion becomes a "Oh my, I told the wife I was going to be home an hour and a half ago" and then still stay shmoozing on the for another 20 minutes anyway. So I started to cry because I simply missed my friends and the …. life I had with them. With all the different things that happened to us, even though we had the support and concern of our whole neighborhood, when it was 8:45 PM on a Friday night and everyone was asleep I had no one to talk to and tell them (about) the week ….. I had nobody I could say 2 words or maybe even just raise an eyebrow to in the middle of Lecha Dodi and have them KNOW exactly what joke I was making. It isn't often that we remember to tell our friends how much they mean and have meant to us, and I wanted to just tell you how much I miss being there with you. On a separate note, once the floodgates opened I was a basket case for the rest of shul and I might have to replace the pages from Unesaneh Tokef (Mussaf day two) in my machzor since they were totally covered in tears. So, thank you for that too. Thank you for …. breaking the ice for me and allowing me to channel some of my feelings into tefilla.

Even though things have begun to get better and better for us as we continue to adjust and settle in, sometimes I am reminded just how difficult this transition has been. To restart your whole life at 40 is not always the easiest thing in the world, no matter how happy the kids may be or how much better we have settled in as time passes.

I know I’ve said this before, but we still do (and hopefully always will) love and miss our many friends (and family) back in the USA. For us (as opposed to many olim from countries such as Russia or Ethiopia), Aliyah was not running away – it was running towards. So, I am not saying that I want to be in America or that we aren’t happy with where we are. Even so, just because we’re not looking to go back at this time doesn’t mean that I can’t miss the friends and life we left behind. I do.

Have a Gmar Chatima Tova!

Turning the Calendar Again (Article #56) 9/11/2007

On Motzei Shabbat (Sat. night) last week, Goldie co-chaired a “Welcome to our Community” event for our shul. Essentially, the shul runs an annual event where the new olim get to meet the members of the shul and vice versa.

We had a lot of fun meeting many of our neighbors at this same event last year, and when she was asked to help coordinate the evening, Goldie readily agreed. The women put together a “human bingo” game where each square represented a characteristic and the participants had to go around the room trying to find someone to match the characteristic.

While competitive people like me worry about winning (we didn’t), it is a great way to “break the ice” and find out a lot about each other.

On Monday night, Goldie and I went to 7th Grade Parents Night at Chorev for Aliza. We were struck by two major things that night.

The first thing hit us at the end of the night. We had listened to both the Principal and then Aliza’s teacher tell us all about the upcoming year and some of the things we should expect. We had filled out the contact forms and gotten the various handouts from the teacher. We were getting our things ready to leave when a woman in front of us turned to us and said. “OK – did they say anything I needed to know?”

AND WE KNEW THE ANSWER.

Yes, this is getting to be a recurring theme. But I just can’t get over how much better it is to understand 65% of what you are hearing instead of 20%. Plus, since we have lived through “the toughest year”, we also knew enough not to sweat it if we missed anything.

The second thing hit us at the mall. We hadn’t eaten dinner, so we stopped by the Malcha Mall to grab a bite at the food court.

As we rode the escalator Goldie noticed a huge sign put up by the mall, wishing all the shoppers a Happy and Sweet New Year. She turned to me and said, “You know, a year ago I would have been all excited about seeing this sign. Now, I take it as the way things are supposed to be.”

I think she meant it as a little bit of a loss for us, that somehow we don’t have the same wide eyed enthusiasm for Israel that we might have had a year ago.

I, however, took it much differently. I thought, isn’t it great that we can live in a place where we can take such things for granted as the natural course of events.

On Tuesday, I joined the students of the Yeshiva on a tiyul (field trip) to Ir David, the site archeologists believe was the castle of King David. As part of that tiyul, we hiked through Chizkiyahu’s water tunnel.

This was my third time on this specific tiyul in the last 14 months. I don’t think this is a tiyul that one can get tired of.

Aside from being an active archeological site where the tour changes each time a new part of the site is opened for public viewing (3 times at the site – 3 different tours for me), the water tunnels are tremendously cool (no other way to say it) and being there with the Yeshiva guys is just tremendous.

After Ir David, we went for Mincha to the Kotel, and concluded the day with a brief tour of the Old City of Jerusalem. Although I am repeating myself, once again I was struck at how great it is that I can say that I just jumped on the bus in the morning, visited King David’s castle, walked through water tunnels that have been existent almost since the founding of Jerusalem, davened at the Kotel and toured the Old City of Jerusalem and returned HOME for dinner.

On Shabbat we co-sponsored an annual Kiddush thrown by the members of the Shul who had made Aliyah the prior year and were celebrating their one year anniversary. I remembered being at the same Kiddush last year in our first week after moving into the neighborhood. It seems a lot more than one year ago.

This week marks the completion of our first full calendar year here in Israel. As things stand, it looks like the year will end without the rebuilding of the Beit HaMikdash and a rebuilt Jerusalem.

Thinking back to last year, there was obviously no way we could have had a glimmer of thought as to what we should have been davening for and what H-shem had in store for us. Yet somehow he got us through to be in what we hope is a good place for us and our family.

We have grown, as a group and as individuals.

On behalf of Goldie and myself, Chaim, Chaya, Aliza, Batya, Mordechai and Moshe, our family wishes you and your families a Shana Tova Umetuka (Sweet New Year). May we be privileged to celebrate the coming of the next new year together in our Holy Land and rebuilt Holy City of Jerusalem.

What a Difference a Year Makes (Article #55) 9/6/2007

It is often startling when you are able to actually see the contrast between whom you were at one point in your life and who you have become. One short year ago, we were totally out of our environment and trying to adjust to our new surroundings.

While we are still “wet behind the ears” new olim, and will be considered such for quite some time, Goldie and I are both amazed at how different our lives are from last year. In many ways.

Last year we were struggling with getting the kids ready for school and trying to figure out where to find things in the grocery store. We’d go to parent meetings where we didn’t understand a word and feel totally overwhelmed with buying school supplies or signing up for hot lunch.

The weeks between camp and school were a frenzied time where we tried to get the kids out from underfoot for a few moments while i) we moved into the “backup” rented house, ii) we arranged for our lift to (finally) arrive in Israel via Greece (remember that?), iii) Chaim arrived from summer camp, iv) we got frustrated by the fact that we couldn’t find anything in the stores we thought they would be in and v) we dealt with my boss having an unscheduled all expenses paid government provided tour of Northern Israel and Southern Lebanon (supervising major building renovations and opening up the new school year for our students).

The country was at war and refugees from Northern communities under fire were living in school buildings and peoples houses. It was a scary and stressful time.

It feels like a different world to us today (and it is). Instead of frantic scrambling to prepare for school, Goldie did most of the shopping months ago and only bought two or three of “the wrong” things by mistake. Instead of being involved with settling in and getting our stuff, we were involved with planning a Bat Mitzva (1 month to go) and taking the kids on tiyulim (trips).

It is still often scary, but our understanding and acceptance that this is the cost we pay for the zchut (benefit) of living in our homeland. We still worry about our kids and our country, but it is less with a sense of awe and more with a sense of acceptance.

Part of our adjustment and klitta (absorption into Israeli society) is the fact that we are getting a small glimmer of what to expect in most situations (and if you are a regular reader of this column you know that we have faced quite a few). So we were very prepared for school and expected to have a half month of August where there was nothing for the kids to do in Beit Shemesh.

Armed with this knowledge, Goldie and Chaia Broderick planned a series of interesting “touristy” day trips to keep the kids occupied. With most of our big kids away at camp, they were able to focus on places that were good for the little kids.

They spent a very nice day at the biblical zoo in Yerushalayim. In the USA we had been members of the zoo in NY, going 3 or 4 times a year at the minimum. While the bigger kids weren’t so into the zoo, the little kids always loved it and we took to going on those Sundays when the bigger kids were away at camp.

They also went to a place called Eretz Bereishit. Located close to Maalei Adumim, it is designed to give you an understanding of what life may have been like during biblical times.

They start with a small play of the times of Avraham, Sarah and Eliezer. Then everyone dresses up in periodic costumes and "eliezer" leads you on a camel ride to the tent of Avraham to do Hachanasat Orchim (welcoming guests). There is a small play in the tent after which they served some dried fruits and nuts with water and tea. There was also a workshop in making pita.

Rounding out the days with some shopping and trips to play centers, the kids (and their mother) always had something to do to keep from going stir crazy before the start of the school year.

One benefit of living here is that school starts much earlier (and tuition costs are much lower). With the early start for the Chagim (holidays) this year, most of the religious schools started a week earlier than normal, and we had all our kids in school by Sunday, September 2.

For those who have been with us for a while, I am sure you will remember how horrific our first few days (days? months!) were last year. Mordechai was terrified of going and it was agonizing to watch how it affected his entire day. Batya understood 2 words. The whole house was filled with anxious and confused kids.

Well, all except for Moshe who was too little to know what was going on anyway and will be spending a second year in his Israeli Gan (preschool), speaking and understanding Hebrew like an Israeli.

In truth, I had forgotten how horrible it was for them and had to reread last year’s paper to remind myself. I can happily report that much has changed since that time.

Mordechai (who moved up to Kitta Aleph - 1st grade) has been so excited to be going to school to learn how to read that we have had trouble containing his exuberance. Every day we ask him how school was that day. So far the answer has been, “SUPER GOOD!”

Batya, who switched schools has also been burstingly happy. She is in a class with very few English speakers and we were concerned that she might feel out of place. She is having the time of her life, even complaining that the work is too easy for her (until she gets to Math). She sometimes walks home with a neighbor and they often stop to get a stick of gum or some other treat.

There is no “school bus” for Batya, so she takes a special city bus home. The city runs a few special lines just for the students of the various schools. They run only once in each direction and if you miss the buss you are stuck. We are amazed at how responsible she has become in making sure that she has her ticket, knows where to go, can walk home (25 minutes) at an age where we really sheltered her older siblings and would never have let them walk home from school by themselves.

Aliza who had an “I don’t care that I don’t speak Hebrew” attitude a year ago is now in an extremely challenging academic school, with a class with 4 English speakers and is also doing well. She was placed in a different class than 90% of the Beit Shemesh students and had considered switching classes, but found out that her homeroom teacher is the best in the grade and is actually the Head of the Grade for all the 7th grade classes. So she decided to stick with that class and tells us that she really doesn’t care about the English or the fact that she didn’t know anyone when she walked in the door. Her only complaint? She doesn’t have a full length mirror in which to check herself out. GIRLS!

Chaya has reinvented herself over the summer. She has always been bright, but had never been a very diligent student and we were (and continue to be) worried about her achieving an Israeli HS diploma. Yet, something clicked for her in 9th grade and she decided to take things more seriously.

Her principal challenged her to do a ton of summer homework to be better prepared for the year and she buckled down and got it done, putting her in a much better position to start the year than she would have been. She loves her school and the girls her age and asked us to increase the hours she gets homework help to make sure that she gets it all done.

Even though academically she has and will struggle because of the language barrier, I would say that socially and emotionally Chaya has had the best adjustment of the kids. The school she is in put zero pressure on her last year, preferring that she find herself within the social group first and then slowly upped the level.

Chaim walked into the year fearful that he would not be able to attend college because he would have zero options without a HS diploma. He went from disaster to disaster in his school and was very concerned for his own future. Yet, in the end, the GMAX program was a gift to us and he is now learning full time at Yesodei HaTorah, a 15 minute walk from home.

I know it has only been one year, and that tomorrow the ceiling can come crashing down upon us (as it has in so many ways this past year). Yet, we came on Aliyah hearing how awful it would be for our kids (especially the teenagers) and we (hopefully) have well adjusted and happy kids. We have a long way to go with them, but I think they are definitely on a good path for success and that is all we can hope for, no?

While all this was going on, I still had work to go to as well. The zman (semester) started well, and on Wednesday we went to visit a basic training base of the Border Police. We had gotten Rabbinic approval to plant non fruit bearing trees on the base, and we joined together with the soldiers in basic training on the base in planting about 100 trees there.

With the Shmitta year about to open, this was literally the last chance for us to participate in anything of this sort, so we seized the opportunity. It was a very nice way to start the year off and I think the guys all enjoyed having the chance to do something for Israel right off the bat.

We had a chance to meet some of the soldiers and had a special meeting with recent Olim soldiers. They spoke to the guys about their reasons for coming to Israel as well as their reasons for serving in the army and specifically the Border Police. We also saw a marksmanship demonstration and some security exercises.

On Thursday, Goldie and I were privileged to join the Begun family as they celebrated the Bar Mitzva of three of their sons in Chevron. Goldie and I were very excited when we got the invitation; a chance to celebrate a simcha with people from “the old country” is indeed a cause for celebration. The invitation came with an additional invitation to join them on their special bus from Jerusalem.

We were conflicted about what to do regarding transportation. Going with the bus would have put us on their full day in Chevron schedule. We would also have had to get to Yerushalayim very early and were concerned about how we would get there on time after getting all the kids out to their various schools in the morning (6 kids = 6 different schools).

Last year, for the August 1 issue of the paper, I wrote the following about a trip we took to Chevron and the Mearat Hamachpela (burial ground of the patriarchs) in our first month here……“we were initially concerned about traveling into such a hot zone, even though we had arranged to travel via armored car….. Although my brother in law questioned our need to get a bulletproof vehicle for our trip, since we really did not even get a nasty glance, I must admit that we felt more comfortable having the vehicle.”

Last year we refused to go without a bulletproof van. One year later? We drove our own (brand new) car through various Arab villages to Qiryat Arba (Jewish community on the outskirts of Chevron). Since we had no idea how to get to the Meara, we used the advice of my boss Benny Pflanzer and picked up some Israeli hitchhikers who’d know the way to the Jewish section of Chevron. Wouldn’t want to make a wrong turn there – no matter how much security was around.

Bulletproof van? Come on.

We did think twice about driving there, but felt very confident that we would be safe with no problems. The truth is, and sometimes we fail to recognize this, the vast majority of the Arabs want to fight as little as we do. I am not saying that we should set aside precautions. What I am saying is that they generally do work.

So we drove ourselves and the drive was uneventful. Deciding to drive actually worked in our favor as Chaim’s Rosh Yeshiva made a Brit Milah (circumcision) for his newborn son that morning that we were consequently able to attend.

The Begun family had joined with Chabad of the 5 Towns in their annual trip to Israel, and the participants glowed as they told us about the various places they had been, especially in their dedication of a rec. center for a Golani brigade. I am sure that there is a major review of the trip elsewhere in the 5TJT.

It had been a year since we had last been in Chevron. We had a few minutes to ourselves before the Seudat Mitzva for the Bar Mitzva boys and we stumbled upon the site of some recent news.

We had read about a building that some of the residents of the Jewish Community of Chevron had bought and moved into only to have their right to live there challenged by Arabs claiming to own the building. Ultimately, the Army evicted the Jews from the building and we came across the results.

We could see the places where the walls were literally ripped from the building so that no one should be able to live there. It was sad to see yet another place where our bitter struggle, both against ourselves and against our enemies is brought so harshly into reality.

I don’t know who owned the building or who was right or wrong. I just wish that neither side felt so persecuted against that they feel forced to take extreme measures to try to gain what they want. While I definitely sympathize much more closely with the Jewish people of Chevron than any other side, their rhetoric often shocks me.

The Begun simcha was terrific. It is hard to match our country for emotional religious impact. Being called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah in the spot where our patriarchs are buried, being the newest link in a chain that spans generations from those who were the first Jews to us who are the current Jews, what could be more moving?

Arriving late (after attending the morning Brit Mila), we hooked up with the group just after davening. It was nice to see the Wolowick’s and those of the group who we knew from the 5 Towns as well as meeting new people who had never been to Israel and were experiencing it for the first time.

Seeing such a motivated group who came in from the USA and hearing how charged they were by their experience in Israel was very uplifting and encouraging to us. As one of the people said to us, “Israel is a great place to visit – it must be a better place to live!”

The Babysitters Return (Article #54) 8/30/2007

Sometimes it seems as if the weeks trudge by as slowly as possible. Other times, time flies by so fast that it is hard to keep a handle on things. Thankfully, we appear to be moving from the former to the latter. I say thankfully because we have been ready for things to pick up for some time so that we can get back into a rhythm.

Just before Shabbat (a week+ ago) Goldie got a frantic call from Chaia Broderick (who made Aliyah only a few weeks after us – to Ramat Beit Shemesh) who needed to immediately bring by one of her kids for Goldie’s inspection. As I left for Shul (we make early Shabbat), Chaia pulled up and brought one of the boys in to have Goldie confirm that he did indeed have hair lice and show Chaia what to do to get rid of them.

I was amazed that the Brodericks had gone a complete year without a single case in their family. After all, it isn’t what goes on in your house that determines if your child gets it – it is what goes on in the house of the kid sitting next to them. If your child’s friend has it and their parents don’t do anything about it, which astoundingly happens often here, viola – now your kid has it too.

Although we haven’t had a case in a while (Goldie checks the kids obsessively for bugs and nits), we have seen enough in the past year to make Goldie a semi expert in handling these things, so she was able to show Chaia what to do. To Chaia’s credit, she did not react as emotionally as Goldie had in our first case and after that one time she was able to handle things on her own.

Over Shabbat we hosted a very nice young couple from down our block, the Schurders (she is from Boston and he grew up in Israel but was born in England) and their kids who have become friends with out little kids (Batya and Mordechai) over the summer.

I haven’t written about it before, but we have made a serious effort at getting back involved socially in the community. As new Olim, we had been invited out a lot in the first six months as the community really opened its arms to us and all the new families. Once we finally began to get our legs underneath us, we had started to reciprocate and host guests in our home when Goldie’s medical issues began and we became somewhat withdrawn as we focused on Goldie’s day to day health and dealing with her issues (including 2 months spent in NJ for diagnosis, treatment and recovery).

Once Goldie felt strong enough, we decided to start slowly, by inviting guests for Seudah Shlishit (the 3rd Shabbat meal) and buying all the food from the bagel store. In fact, our first guests (in June), the Aftels, would not consent to come until I assured them that Goldie would NOT be cooking or doing anything other than set the table and that she really WAS ready to host them.

Seudah Shlishit became lunch a few weeks later and we tried to have at least one family over each week, to get ourselves back into circulation, so to speak. It wasn’t until a few days after the Schurder’s had joined us that I realized what set them apart from all the others who we had either been hosted by or had hosted.

There had previously been people from two different groups that we had interacted with in the past. There were those who invited us simply because we were new in town and they were being welcoming (which in our community has been taken to a whole new level, especially because the vast majority of our neighbors have gone through the same thing we have in such a life changing move). The other group is people who knew us at some time in our lives in America and are reconnecting now that we have been reunited here. These groups are not mutually exclusive.

The Schurder’s represented a third group. They’ve been our neighbors since we moved in (we leave at opposite ends of the same block), and we recognized each other enough to (maybe) say Hi or Shabbat Shalom as we passed each other in the street, yet we weren’t friendly with them until our kids got to be friends in camp this summer.

We didn’t become friendly because we were new olim or they were new olim and one of us was going out of our way to be nice to the “new” people. Which is a first for us since we moved here. Hopefully it will continue.

Actually, there is another family that we wanted to get closer to as well. They have a son in Mordechai’s class (both last year and this upcoming year) and they really seem like very nice people. The problem? They don’t speak English and we are too unconfident in our Hebrew to think about hosting them for a meal. We envision long pauses where we just sit there because we are each uncomfortable with our inability to communicate.

Ironically, it is only the adults who would have this issue, since our kids (with the exception of Chaim) speak enough Hebrew to make this a non issue for them.

Eretz HaTzvi’s new students arrived on Wednesday. We are one of the earliest starting non-charedi Anglo Yeshivot in Israel. Elul is slipping by quite quickly and we wanted to get the earliest jump on the year that we could. I have been through this before with last year’s group so the process is not nearly as new to me as it was last year.

Yet this year we had none of the frenetic activity we experienced a year ago. Thank G-d, no war this year. My boss was not in the army for the month before Yeshiva started and there were no major renovations to preside over as a new employee. I wasn’t a new Oleh, fresh off the plane and as an old hand, I was much better prepared to meet the new students.

Without the rush rush rush of last minute preparations, the whole year opening process had a different flavor this time around and for the most part it went off without a hitch. The guys arrived on time with all their luggage, we took our first tiyul (trip) to the Kotel, they were sorted into their shiurim (classes) and the zman (semester?) is off to a great start.

As opposed to last year I actually know the guys who returned for Shana Bet (a second year of study) which added to my personal excitement in greeting the students. I also happen to know the parents of several of this year’s young men, both from Chicago (where I grew up) or NY (where we lived for 15 years prior to Aliyah), and greeting these students made me feel a bit older than I used to.

The day after the Yeshiva guys arrived Chaim and Aliza flew home as well, having ended their stays at camp this summer.

They had originally been scheduled to return the following week in order to spend additional time with Goldie’s parents and also see my parents who were coming to NY for a wedding later that week. However, about a month ago we got a letter from Aliza’s new school, Chorev, telling us that school would be starting earlier this year.

In order to get Aliza to her orientation, we moved her flight up 5 days and scheduled her to arrive on Thursday afternoon so that I could meet her at the airport and take her straight to the orientation. This meant that I would miss some of the Yeshiva orientation but we do what we have to, don’t we?

I took the van to work that morning, planning to go straight from the Yeshiva in order to maximize my work time. On my drive in, I called Goldie and asked her to check the El Al website to see if maybe the plane would be a few minutes early or late. In retrospect, I should have thought to do so a lot earlier.

Apparently, there was some kind of problem with the ventilation system and the plane ended up leaving five hours late and was not scheduled to arrive until later that evening. Not only did Aliza end up missing her orientation, but I had taken the car with me to Yerushalayim for no reason – leaving Goldie without transportation, three cranky kids and nothing to do with them. You can imagine how thrilled she was when she called me to tell me about the delay.

I recommended she call the school to let them know that Aliza would be missing and ask for her class assignment and that they send home any materials with a neighbor of ours. When she called them they were incredibly upset with her as if it were her fault the plane was delayed.

I was incredulous. After all, had they given us more than three weeks warning about the opening date for school, we might have been able to get her onto a flight that came in a little earlier. What did they expect us to do? We got her on the flight that had space and it was delayed. Sometimes I think I will never understand Israelis. They put us in a tough spot and should have been more understanding.

Luckily, Yaacov Lewis (Cedarhurst) was on the plane with them and lent them his cellphone to call me and let me know that they arrived safely and that the luggage was slow in coming out. Danny Block (Chashmonaim) was also on that flight so we had an impromptu meeting of the 5TJT Israeli Columnists Association in the reception area just outside customs.

I also bumped into Yamin Goldsmith there. Yamin and I had been classmates in elementary school together (we even had Bar Mitzva lessons together) and he and his family live in Nofei Aviv, the next neighborhood over from ours, a ten minute walk away. He runs the Sha’alavim girls program in Yerushalayim and was there to meet their group flight 5 hours late. I am not in the airport for our group arrival, and it was interesting to see how they set up for the girls.

It was nice to have the kids home. We are still missing Chaya, who left a month after the other 2 kids and is staying through their original return date. So we weren’t a complete family yet. However, Goldie had a chance to make their favorite foods and I got my chance to be mean and keep them up to avoid jet lag, so I guess everything ended up as expected.

Next week promises to be stressful too. Chaya comes home. We have to find a Yeshiva for Chaim to learn in and school starts for most of the kids (Mordechai is starting first grade!) as well. Although the calendar said we started Year Two almost two months ago, in reality, as parents of young kids we measure our years by the school year. So Year Two should begin next week.

It is a tremendously different beginning than the one we had a year ago.

i) We understand what people are talking about when we go to parent and/or shul meetings. ii) Our kids (OK – the younger 4 or 5) speak great Hebrew, usually better than their parents do. iii) We are more mentally prepared for school this year, having learned to have absolutely zero preconceptions and expectations about any facet of the educational system here. iv) We are still here – which counts the most.

So, after the big summer lull things should be flying in typical Katz fashion yet again.

Room for All (Article #53) 8/23/2007

It has been such a long time since we had an Aliyah related milestone event that I almost didn’t recognize it when it happened. After months of waiting and numerous delays, we finally got a car that fits the whole family.

It sounds spoiled for this to be such a big deal. We probably are a bit spoiled, there is no denying it. After all, there are many many Israeli families (quite a few with more children than ours) who never own a vehicle in their lives, much less a new one. Public transportation here is pretty efficient and most of the country is accessible by bus/train or other forms of transportation.

I even have a neighbor (who walks 10 minutes to work each day) who made a calculation that it doesn’t pay to get a car unless you commute to work no less than 9 one way trips each week. He calculated the costs of hiring a taxi for tiyulim and other trips and computed that it was cheaper. He does have much younger kids than us though. We’ll see what he says when he has 4 kids at different friends houses/trips/shopping who all come home with taxi receipts.

Yet, as I wrote when we first got our long term rental car, we consider the “convenience” of having the car as a necessity.

Ever since we got that rental car, we had been working toward getting a car of our own, especially one that had room for all of us. The rental was a compact car with seating for 5 in which we could sometimes squeeze 6 or 7 and even all 8 of us if the trip was short, but it was definitely unsafe to do so and we found ourselves renting vans for holiday weeks (at a significant cost) or having the 2 older kids travel by bus and meet us at our destination, while the rest of us went by car.

Psychologically if not practically, this deterred us from doing things as a family. A trip to visit my sister as a family was impossible because of the logistical nightmare involved in getting all of us there reasonably. The same with things like going to the Kotel together or going away for Shabbat.

Unfortunately for us (or maybe not), there were many different events that happened to postpone the arrival of the car for quite some time.

After researching various options, we had chosen (mostly because of financial considerations) to buy a Hyundai H1 cargo van last February. It was the cheapest of only 3 options available to us, since there are very few automobiles available in Israel that seat at least 8 and this was the cheapest option. It was also available for delivery within a 2 to 3 week period.

All 3 eight seat options were actually converted cargo vans that are imported as shells. They come with no seats or A/C and in some cases even without windows in the side panels. Why? Well, the import taxes are set based on the value of the imported car and they try to import as stripped down a vehicle as possible in order to reduce the import taxes, adding all the “extras” to the vehicle only once they are physically in the country.

Minivans do exist here, yet (at the time we began to look) there were no longer any minivans with seating configurations for 8 people. Mazda had sold an 8 seat minivan several years ago but had discontinued that design in favor of a 7 seater.

In the process of ordering the van, we became aware of a Metzia (deal) on a 6 month old car that was available from people who had bought the car and returned to the USA shortly thereafter. We were arranging to get that car instead when Goldie first took ill and when we tried to process the paperwork, the appropriate agency was on strike (that seems to happen a lot here).

After Pesach we were about to restart the process when we had to rush off to the US for Goldie’s treatment and surgery and it wasn’t until late May that we found out that the tax free benefits for that specific car were no longer available and we would need to find another solution.

After finding out that there was a 12 month wait for the Hyundai and that Toyota no longer sold the Hiace as an automatic, we were stuck with no options at all, until we heard about the Ssangyong Rodius. Seating 9, this minivan was only introduced to the Israeli market within the last year and was our last hope to get a new car.

We went to order the car right before I went to the USA and a few days after I returned we got the call that it was ready. We got it last week and are busily adjusting ourselves to it.

It isn’t really something that we needed this week per se, since the smaller car fit the family for the summer (since three of the kids have been gone). But this week the world gets back to normal as they begin to arrive home and we become a normal family again.

The summer has been very interesting. The departure of the older kids has actually been tougher for us; we lost our babysitters and primary assistants in the house. We had forgotten what it was like to have only little kids in the house and the kids were more than happy to remind us.

Last week was the end of camp for the kids. They had an awesome time at their camp (Kee Tov) and having the chance to spend time focusing on them was great. I know that it seems a bit early to be ending summer programs, but this is Israel and August is the month of Chofesh (vacations).

The entire country seems to go on vacation during the month of August. It is amazing how many people leave home to travel (a large percentage of them travel to the cooler temperatures of Northern Israel). Shul is half empty all the time and wherever we go (outside tourist attractions) the lines are nowhere near what they would be normally. The only places you see lots of people are at tourist attractions and public transportation, like the trains.

I know that I should be happy for the train company on the revenues and profits that they gain through all the people who seem to be on the trains, but it is quite frankly making me crazy. I am used to a quiet and relaxing ride and instead I have full trains with a trillion wild kids making tons of noise and peering over my shoulder at the computer as I write (they all want to know what movies I have on the computer).

School has started (for chareidim) or will soon start (for most of the other kids). In religious circles, the schools (which normally open September 1) will open about a week early because the chagim (holidays) come so early in the year. Of course, the schools didn’t actually tell us this information until earlier this month and many people, including our daughter Aliza, had to change their travel plans to make sure they were back home in time for school.

This is one of the things I don’t think I will ever get used to. The last minute way things are done here. After all, it isn’t as if they didn’t know what the calendar would be. A little bit of planning and we would all have had plenty of advance warning. But that seems to be too much to ask here.

I for one am looking forward to the return of the school year and everything (including my quiet train ride) getting back to normal.

Arrivals and Departures (Article #52) 8/16/2007

Throughout the year we have been getting feedback from friends and strangers alike. Mostly encouraging, many of those who contact us have told us of their dreams to come to Israel or of the journey their sons and daughters had in making Aliyah.

About a week after the news broke that we were making Aliyah, we got a call from Kiki Schickman, asking us about our decision to make Aliyah and how we were going to deal with kids/work/life, etc.

She explained that they had also been thinking of making Aliyah and she wanted to hear about our thought process. However, she was also calling as the mother of Mordechai’s best friend in the whole world – Gaby.

Mordechai and Gaby had been practically inseparable since 2 year old nursery. Elana Fertig, South Shore’s Preschool Director once called me to tell me that she had come across Gaby and Mordechai crying in the hallway. She asked them what was the matter and Gaby told her that he had fallen down and hurt himself. She turned to Mordechai and asked if he had also fallen down?

“No” he told her.

“Then why are you crying?” she asked.

His response?

“Because Gaby fell down and hurt himself.”

They were each others primary playmate and we always knew that they felt comfortable with one another and really had a strong bond of friendship – even at 5 years old.

One of Mordechai’s biggest issues with Aliyah was in leaving Gaby behind. He really missed having his best friend, especially when he had to deal with adjusting to new friends in a foreign country and a foreign language. So we were very excited to hear that the Schickmans were similarly minded.

Mordechai missed Gaby more than I can describe. Even though he made new friends and has shown great resilience in what has been an incredibly tough adjustment to a new culture, he still maintained a steadfast loyal bond with Gaby. He even called his new best friend here – “my best friend in Israel” with an understanding that Gaby would always be his best friend.

The Schickmans visited in December on what would turn out to be their pilot trip as they made the decision to make Aliyah this summer – moving to Efrat. When the news came out, the countdown began, as Mordechai looked forward to reuniting with Gaby.

As the countdown got nearer, the excitement grew, until we finally got to July 31, the date of the Schickman family’s Aliyah. We got up very early to get to the airport on time and were among the many friends and family members who greeted the new Olim. (Ironically, the family of Chaim Rock – Mordechai’s best friend in Israel, or now, Bet Shemesh also attended the welcoming ceremonies simply because they wanted to experience the ceremonies and greet the new olim).

While at the airport we bumped into the Schwatzblatt family, in Israel celebrating a Bar Mitzva and coincidently to welcome Mindy’s brother and his family (the Lustigs) who were arriving on that flight. (Another family also arrived from the 5 Towns on that flight – the Krauss family from Woodmere – Mazal Tov to them).

Having been on the “other side” of the fence when we arrived on our own Nefesh Bnefesh flight, I was intrigued by the excitement level clearly present in the terminal as we waited for the flight. The greeters were clearly pumped to be there to welcome the new olim and the atmosphere was electric.

When the plane arrived, we quickly headed outside to be there when the busses brought the olim to the terminal. As we waited, a busload of Ethiopian olim came by and the entire crowd erupted in cheers for them as well. I don’t know if they thought we were there especially for them or not, but they responded to us, waving and smiling as they passed by.

As the busloads of olim arrived from the plane, there was cheering, singing, hugging, dancing – just a sense of frenzied celebration and pandemonium. We spotted the Schickman’s coming off the third busload and the kids quickly ran over to welcome them.

They had a whole crew of people there to greet them (us, the Rudoffs, Brodericks and some other friends I didn’t recognize) and we all made our way to the welcoming ceremonies together.

After an initial moment of shyness, Mordechai and Gaby were at each others sides the entire time, sharing in this special moment together. It was just an amazing experience.

Mordechai actually thinks that Efrat (where the Schickman’s now live) is just past Nofei Aviv (a neighborhood just a small 10 minute walk from our home) and that he and Gaby will hook up regularly. So the realization that Gaby is still at least a 20 minute drive away still hasn’t sunk in. It will.

That afternoon I headed back to the airport to fly to America for the Yeshiva. Unable to travel for the last half year due to Goldie’s illness, the fact that she was now doing well enough to allow me to leave for 10 days was a tremendous step forward in her recovery. The glasses have allowed her to do everything, drive, shop, whatever she wants to do. So the double vision has gone from a crippling problem to a major issue that we can deal with for right now.

There is no question that making the trip was a little scary, especially because the last trip was when the health issues began to come up. Yet, it was a relief to try to get back on track and resume life as originally scheduled.

I was quite flattered on both ends of the trip by the El Al security personnel and ticket agents. They actually spoke to me in Hebrew without even thinking of speaking English to me (OK – one of them asked me “Hebrew or English”). This was a big first.

I am not sure what made me recognizable this time as someone who lives in Israel and speaks Hebrew well enough to converse with them, but it was quite a complement. I know it sounds silly, but that little bit of recognition really made a difference.

The trip was productive (even though I still feel like I am not fully back) and it was great to see so many of our friends and visit with the family when we aren’t having to deal with doctors and tests. I got to go see the kids on visitor’s day in camp (they are having a good summer) and even had the chance to work as well.

A highlight of the trip was getting together with around 20 of our Alumni for a tailgate party and Mets game. It was great to see the guys again and catch up on how they have been doing since Yeshiva ended in June. Being responsible for keeping in touch with the Alumni is probably the best part of my job. I get to keep track with them and see them regularly and it makes saying goodbye to them at the end of the year a little easier.

The trip was very therapeutic for me.

Goldie has been doing very well since the surgery. She really has a very positive attitude and has been very strong. I on the other hand had not been doing as well.

Following the incredibly emotional journey we had gone through, I had a very difficult time in settling down to normalcy. I was so focused on taking care of Goldie and on being totally positive and encouraging for her that when we came home I crashed. There is no question that I was depressed and couldn’t seem to lift myself out of the funk I was in.

I kept thinking that time would help things get easier, but it was very tough. I even mentioned to Larry Gordon (editor of this paper) how I noticed that my articles were getting a little preachy as I talked about other issues (like Sderot) instead of having to think about what we had just been through as a family.

Getting back on track (even a little bit) allowed me to put some distance and normalcy between the past and the present and gave me the chance to get back to the person I am. I know that I will never be the same as I was before Goldie’s illness. But we adjust and will establish a new level of normalcy and will move forward from there.

While we certainly hope for an eventful and productive year, hopefully the events of the second year of Aliyah will be a little less harrying and traumatic.

Mourning the Destruction (Article #51) 8/2/2007

As planned, Goldie joined a group who went to tour, but most importantly to support, the people of the city of Sderot. As you must be aware, the city of Sderot has been the target of unending Kassam rocket attacks from the Gaza area. Without any strategic assets (industrial, military, etc.) to protect or significant casualties absorbed, the government’s attitude has been to publicly decry the attacks yet not take a strong stand in defending against them.

I must admit that I myself have no idea how we could greater defend the people and the area. The army does target launchers and terrorists when it can identify them and it is certainly difficult to capture/attack fighters who wear no uniforms and blend in with the populace. However, from a layman’s point of view and in the opinions of many people on the street, there should be more done – even if we can’t say precisely what it is.

No matter how you approach the problem, the facts are that the town of Sderot bears the brunt of the rocket attacks. While rarely deadly, the neverending rocket firings have traumatized the city and its residents, forcing them into a “bunker mentality” type of existence. I cannot personally imagine being strong enough to live under the same conditions as those who remain n Sderot. We are therefore honored to participate in programs such as the challa program that helps support the bakery there.

Goldie especially feels an obligation to do as much as we can for the people who are under attack simply because they are convenient and they are Jews. When the opportunity arose to go to Sderot and see things firsthand while supporting the people there, she jumped at it – although with comcern in the back of her mind.

The tiyul was organized by Standing Together, an organization that’s goals are to support our soldiers and reach out to Israelis under attack. The participants were brought to Sderot to see what was going on there, but also to shop in Sderot stores (providing them with much needed revenue in in light of the exodus of many of their customers from the city) and show the people of Sderot that someone cares about them.

She convinced our daughter Chaya to go with her, even though Chaya was very worried about her safety and was not that enthused about the trip in general.

When they got to Sderot, they were given a quick drill in what to do in the event of a rocket attack. Things like, “Stay low” or “just knock on any door and they will let you into their bomb shelter”. The direction of Gaza was pointed out and they were told to keep a building between themselves and the rockets and to stay low in case they couldn’t get to a shelter.

This definitely spooked Goldie, who called me to tell me how the danger of the situation really hit home at that moment. Although she quickly adjusted, that moment’s and understanding of how real the situation was really hit home for her.

They toured a Gan (preschool) where the kids indoor area is a bomb shelter so that they can maintain their regular schedule throughout the day, went shopping in some local stores, visited a home that had been hit a couple of days earlier by a rocket (the residents of the house had ignored 2 prior air raid sirens but decided to go to the shelter only for the 3rd one and were in the shelter for a mere few seconds when the rocket crashed into their home), had lunch in a local Yeshiva and heard about the conditions from the Rosh Yeshiva and then returned home with a brief stop back at the damaged home, where a Standing Together representative presented the owners with a cash gift that the bus passengers had quickly put together in sympathy and concern.

Goldie was definitely glad that she went and had the chance to do what she could. Chaya’s reaction was the most gratifying. After spending the day in Sderot, she turned to Goldie on the bus and said, “Thank you for making me go today-- what a meaningful day”

Less than a week later we mourned a different destruction with the coming of Tisha B’Av. The Friday before the fast we had gone to the Kotel as a family. Batya had mentioned that it had been a long time since we had gone to the Kotel, and we decided that if it was important enough for her to mention it, it was important enough for us to go.

Similar to last year, I was somewhat awestruck by the fact that we are now living what we only imagined in years past. We were able to walk along the site of the Bet HaMikdash and see the physical evidence of the destruction by the Romans. We could internalize and (in a very limited way) actually visualize a very tiny fraction of what we are now lacking.

I resolved to go to the Kotel for Mincha (afternoon prayers) on Erev Tisha B’Av (the day before Tisha B’Av), so that I could be at the Kotel as near to Tisha B’Av as possible and put myself in the right frame of mind for the fast and its’ tefillot (prayers). Although it was a very hot day (it seems as if the entire summer has been a very hot day), I followed through on my plan and returned home.

That night, as I made my way to Shul for davening, I passed a van driven by Gedalia Borvick who was apparently picking up a couple of our neighbors to go to the Kotel for davening. When they asked, "We have room for one more - want to join us at the Kotel for Eichah?"

“Want to? Of course”, I responded.

I cannot tell you how unbelievable it is to be in our holy city on a day such as Tisha B'av. A day in which we remind ourselves that we have been put into exile partly because we could not get along with each other is the same day in which we set aside our differences and gently, join with other Jews without reservation. Sfardim, Chassidim, Yeshivalite, Modern people - EVERYONE came together in a single night to mourn our collective loss.

We got there an hour after the normal davening time, yet people continued to come to the Kotel. it was hard to find a spot for us all to sit together and the sounds of Eicha and Kinnot from the sephardic nusach (cantillations) to chassidish to our own ashkenazi filled our ears as we made our way into the plaza. We made our own minyan and davened together, reading Eicha for ourselves and then said the kinnot nice and slowly, THERE IN THE EXACT SPOT WHERE THE DESTRUCTIONS TOOK PLACE!! How could I not be awed and overwhelmed.

I felt a true connection to H-shem and knew that it is him in his great kindness that delivered the perfect ride at the perfect time for me to benefit from such an experience. I was reminded that this is a major part of why we are here. Because we can visit the Kotel whenever we want.

The next day when I added the special tefilla of Nachem in my davening, imagine how much more meaningful such an experience was when I was just there! “Please H-shem rebuild our holy city and the Bet Hamikdash!”

I was actually a little concerned afterward. I worried that I should not have “enjoyed” myself so much on a day in which we are supposed to feel the deepest mourning for what we have lost. I can only hope that the “pleasure” I had in being able to so personally feel the destruction was interpreted as my way of having the proper mindframe and attitude for the day.