Tuesday, September 11, 2007

What a Difference a Year Makes (Article #55) 9/6/2007

It is often startling when you are able to actually see the contrast between whom you were at one point in your life and who you have become. One short year ago, we were totally out of our environment and trying to adjust to our new surroundings.

While we are still “wet behind the ears” new olim, and will be considered such for quite some time, Goldie and I are both amazed at how different our lives are from last year. In many ways.

Last year we were struggling with getting the kids ready for school and trying to figure out where to find things in the grocery store. We’d go to parent meetings where we didn’t understand a word and feel totally overwhelmed with buying school supplies or signing up for hot lunch.

The weeks between camp and school were a frenzied time where we tried to get the kids out from underfoot for a few moments while i) we moved into the “backup” rented house, ii) we arranged for our lift to (finally) arrive in Israel via Greece (remember that?), iii) Chaim arrived from summer camp, iv) we got frustrated by the fact that we couldn’t find anything in the stores we thought they would be in and v) we dealt with my boss having an unscheduled all expenses paid government provided tour of Northern Israel and Southern Lebanon (supervising major building renovations and opening up the new school year for our students).

The country was at war and refugees from Northern communities under fire were living in school buildings and peoples houses. It was a scary and stressful time.

It feels like a different world to us today (and it is). Instead of frantic scrambling to prepare for school, Goldie did most of the shopping months ago and only bought two or three of “the wrong” things by mistake. Instead of being involved with settling in and getting our stuff, we were involved with planning a Bat Mitzva (1 month to go) and taking the kids on tiyulim (trips).

It is still often scary, but our understanding and acceptance that this is the cost we pay for the zchut (benefit) of living in our homeland. We still worry about our kids and our country, but it is less with a sense of awe and more with a sense of acceptance.

Part of our adjustment and klitta (absorption into Israeli society) is the fact that we are getting a small glimmer of what to expect in most situations (and if you are a regular reader of this column you know that we have faced quite a few). So we were very prepared for school and expected to have a half month of August where there was nothing for the kids to do in Beit Shemesh.

Armed with this knowledge, Goldie and Chaia Broderick planned a series of interesting “touristy” day trips to keep the kids occupied. With most of our big kids away at camp, they were able to focus on places that were good for the little kids.

They spent a very nice day at the biblical zoo in Yerushalayim. In the USA we had been members of the zoo in NY, going 3 or 4 times a year at the minimum. While the bigger kids weren’t so into the zoo, the little kids always loved it and we took to going on those Sundays when the bigger kids were away at camp.

They also went to a place called Eretz Bereishit. Located close to Maalei Adumim, it is designed to give you an understanding of what life may have been like during biblical times.

They start with a small play of the times of Avraham, Sarah and Eliezer. Then everyone dresses up in periodic costumes and "eliezer" leads you on a camel ride to the tent of Avraham to do Hachanasat Orchim (welcoming guests). There is a small play in the tent after which they served some dried fruits and nuts with water and tea. There was also a workshop in making pita.

Rounding out the days with some shopping and trips to play centers, the kids (and their mother) always had something to do to keep from going stir crazy before the start of the school year.

One benefit of living here is that school starts much earlier (and tuition costs are much lower). With the early start for the Chagim (holidays) this year, most of the religious schools started a week earlier than normal, and we had all our kids in school by Sunday, September 2.

For those who have been with us for a while, I am sure you will remember how horrific our first few days (days? months!) were last year. Mordechai was terrified of going and it was agonizing to watch how it affected his entire day. Batya understood 2 words. The whole house was filled with anxious and confused kids.

Well, all except for Moshe who was too little to know what was going on anyway and will be spending a second year in his Israeli Gan (preschool), speaking and understanding Hebrew like an Israeli.

In truth, I had forgotten how horrible it was for them and had to reread last year’s paper to remind myself. I can happily report that much has changed since that time.

Mordechai (who moved up to Kitta Aleph - 1st grade) has been so excited to be going to school to learn how to read that we have had trouble containing his exuberance. Every day we ask him how school was that day. So far the answer has been, “SUPER GOOD!”

Batya, who switched schools has also been burstingly happy. She is in a class with very few English speakers and we were concerned that she might feel out of place. She is having the time of her life, even complaining that the work is too easy for her (until she gets to Math). She sometimes walks home with a neighbor and they often stop to get a stick of gum or some other treat.

There is no “school bus” for Batya, so she takes a special city bus home. The city runs a few special lines just for the students of the various schools. They run only once in each direction and if you miss the buss you are stuck. We are amazed at how responsible she has become in making sure that she has her ticket, knows where to go, can walk home (25 minutes) at an age where we really sheltered her older siblings and would never have let them walk home from school by themselves.

Aliza who had an “I don’t care that I don’t speak Hebrew” attitude a year ago is now in an extremely challenging academic school, with a class with 4 English speakers and is also doing well. She was placed in a different class than 90% of the Beit Shemesh students and had considered switching classes, but found out that her homeroom teacher is the best in the grade and is actually the Head of the Grade for all the 7th grade classes. So she decided to stick with that class and tells us that she really doesn’t care about the English or the fact that she didn’t know anyone when she walked in the door. Her only complaint? She doesn’t have a full length mirror in which to check herself out. GIRLS!

Chaya has reinvented herself over the summer. She has always been bright, but had never been a very diligent student and we were (and continue to be) worried about her achieving an Israeli HS diploma. Yet, something clicked for her in 9th grade and she decided to take things more seriously.

Her principal challenged her to do a ton of summer homework to be better prepared for the year and she buckled down and got it done, putting her in a much better position to start the year than she would have been. She loves her school and the girls her age and asked us to increase the hours she gets homework help to make sure that she gets it all done.

Even though academically she has and will struggle because of the language barrier, I would say that socially and emotionally Chaya has had the best adjustment of the kids. The school she is in put zero pressure on her last year, preferring that she find herself within the social group first and then slowly upped the level.

Chaim walked into the year fearful that he would not be able to attend college because he would have zero options without a HS diploma. He went from disaster to disaster in his school and was very concerned for his own future. Yet, in the end, the GMAX program was a gift to us and he is now learning full time at Yesodei HaTorah, a 15 minute walk from home.

I know it has only been one year, and that tomorrow the ceiling can come crashing down upon us (as it has in so many ways this past year). Yet, we came on Aliyah hearing how awful it would be for our kids (especially the teenagers) and we (hopefully) have well adjusted and happy kids. We have a long way to go with them, but I think they are definitely on a good path for success and that is all we can hope for, no?

While all this was going on, I still had work to go to as well. The zman (semester) started well, and on Wednesday we went to visit a basic training base of the Border Police. We had gotten Rabbinic approval to plant non fruit bearing trees on the base, and we joined together with the soldiers in basic training on the base in planting about 100 trees there.

With the Shmitta year about to open, this was literally the last chance for us to participate in anything of this sort, so we seized the opportunity. It was a very nice way to start the year off and I think the guys all enjoyed having the chance to do something for Israel right off the bat.

We had a chance to meet some of the soldiers and had a special meeting with recent Olim soldiers. They spoke to the guys about their reasons for coming to Israel as well as their reasons for serving in the army and specifically the Border Police. We also saw a marksmanship demonstration and some security exercises.

On Thursday, Goldie and I were privileged to join the Begun family as they celebrated the Bar Mitzva of three of their sons in Chevron. Goldie and I were very excited when we got the invitation; a chance to celebrate a simcha with people from “the old country” is indeed a cause for celebration. The invitation came with an additional invitation to join them on their special bus from Jerusalem.

We were conflicted about what to do regarding transportation. Going with the bus would have put us on their full day in Chevron schedule. We would also have had to get to Yerushalayim very early and were concerned about how we would get there on time after getting all the kids out to their various schools in the morning (6 kids = 6 different schools).

Last year, for the August 1 issue of the paper, I wrote the following about a trip we took to Chevron and the Mearat Hamachpela (burial ground of the patriarchs) in our first month here……“we were initially concerned about traveling into such a hot zone, even though we had arranged to travel via armored car….. Although my brother in law questioned our need to get a bulletproof vehicle for our trip, since we really did not even get a nasty glance, I must admit that we felt more comfortable having the vehicle.”

Last year we refused to go without a bulletproof van. One year later? We drove our own (brand new) car through various Arab villages to Qiryat Arba (Jewish community on the outskirts of Chevron). Since we had no idea how to get to the Meara, we used the advice of my boss Benny Pflanzer and picked up some Israeli hitchhikers who’d know the way to the Jewish section of Chevron. Wouldn’t want to make a wrong turn there – no matter how much security was around.

Bulletproof van? Come on.

We did think twice about driving there, but felt very confident that we would be safe with no problems. The truth is, and sometimes we fail to recognize this, the vast majority of the Arabs want to fight as little as we do. I am not saying that we should set aside precautions. What I am saying is that they generally do work.

So we drove ourselves and the drive was uneventful. Deciding to drive actually worked in our favor as Chaim’s Rosh Yeshiva made a Brit Milah (circumcision) for his newborn son that morning that we were consequently able to attend.

The Begun family had joined with Chabad of the 5 Towns in their annual trip to Israel, and the participants glowed as they told us about the various places they had been, especially in their dedication of a rec. center for a Golani brigade. I am sure that there is a major review of the trip elsewhere in the 5TJT.

It had been a year since we had last been in Chevron. We had a few minutes to ourselves before the Seudat Mitzva for the Bar Mitzva boys and we stumbled upon the site of some recent news.

We had read about a building that some of the residents of the Jewish Community of Chevron had bought and moved into only to have their right to live there challenged by Arabs claiming to own the building. Ultimately, the Army evicted the Jews from the building and we came across the results.

We could see the places where the walls were literally ripped from the building so that no one should be able to live there. It was sad to see yet another place where our bitter struggle, both against ourselves and against our enemies is brought so harshly into reality.

I don’t know who owned the building or who was right or wrong. I just wish that neither side felt so persecuted against that they feel forced to take extreme measures to try to gain what they want. While I definitely sympathize much more closely with the Jewish people of Chevron than any other side, their rhetoric often shocks me.

The Begun simcha was terrific. It is hard to match our country for emotional religious impact. Being called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah in the spot where our patriarchs are buried, being the newest link in a chain that spans generations from those who were the first Jews to us who are the current Jews, what could be more moving?

Arriving late (after attending the morning Brit Mila), we hooked up with the group just after davening. It was nice to see the Wolowick’s and those of the group who we knew from the 5 Towns as well as meeting new people who had never been to Israel and were experiencing it for the first time.

Seeing such a motivated group who came in from the USA and hearing how charged they were by their experience in Israel was very uplifting and encouraging to us. As one of the people said to us, “Israel is a great place to visit – it must be a better place to live!”

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