Arrivals and Departures (Article #52) 8/16/2007

Throughout the year we have been getting feedback from friends and strangers alike. Mostly encouraging, many of those who contact us have told us of their dreams to come to Israel or of the journey their sons and daughters had in making Aliyah.

About a week after the news broke that we were making Aliyah, we got a call from Kiki Schickman, asking us about our decision to make Aliyah and how we were going to deal with kids/work/life, etc.

She explained that they had also been thinking of making Aliyah and she wanted to hear about our thought process. However, she was also calling as the mother of Mordechai’s best friend in the whole world – Gaby.

Mordechai and Gaby had been practically inseparable since 2 year old nursery. Elana Fertig, South Shore’s Preschool Director once called me to tell me that she had come across Gaby and Mordechai crying in the hallway. She asked them what was the matter and Gaby told her that he had fallen down and hurt himself. She turned to Mordechai and asked if he had also fallen down?

“No” he told her.

“Then why are you crying?” she asked.

His response?

“Because Gaby fell down and hurt himself.”

They were each others primary playmate and we always knew that they felt comfortable with one another and really had a strong bond of friendship – even at 5 years old.

One of Mordechai’s biggest issues with Aliyah was in leaving Gaby behind. He really missed having his best friend, especially when he had to deal with adjusting to new friends in a foreign country and a foreign language. So we were very excited to hear that the Schickmans were similarly minded.

Mordechai missed Gaby more than I can describe. Even though he made new friends and has shown great resilience in what has been an incredibly tough adjustment to a new culture, he still maintained a steadfast loyal bond with Gaby. He even called his new best friend here – “my best friend in Israel” with an understanding that Gaby would always be his best friend.

The Schickmans visited in December on what would turn out to be their pilot trip as they made the decision to make Aliyah this summer – moving to Efrat. When the news came out, the countdown began, as Mordechai looked forward to reuniting with Gaby.

As the countdown got nearer, the excitement grew, until we finally got to July 31, the date of the Schickman family’s Aliyah. We got up very early to get to the airport on time and were among the many friends and family members who greeted the new Olim. (Ironically, the family of Chaim Rock – Mordechai’s best friend in Israel, or now, Bet Shemesh also attended the welcoming ceremonies simply because they wanted to experience the ceremonies and greet the new olim).

While at the airport we bumped into the Schwatzblatt family, in Israel celebrating a Bar Mitzva and coincidently to welcome Mindy’s brother and his family (the Lustigs) who were arriving on that flight. (Another family also arrived from the 5 Towns on that flight – the Krauss family from Woodmere – Mazal Tov to them).

Having been on the “other side” of the fence when we arrived on our own Nefesh Bnefesh flight, I was intrigued by the excitement level clearly present in the terminal as we waited for the flight. The greeters were clearly pumped to be there to welcome the new olim and the atmosphere was electric.

When the plane arrived, we quickly headed outside to be there when the busses brought the olim to the terminal. As we waited, a busload of Ethiopian olim came by and the entire crowd erupted in cheers for them as well. I don’t know if they thought we were there especially for them or not, but they responded to us, waving and smiling as they passed by.

As the busloads of olim arrived from the plane, there was cheering, singing, hugging, dancing – just a sense of frenzied celebration and pandemonium. We spotted the Schickman’s coming off the third busload and the kids quickly ran over to welcome them.

They had a whole crew of people there to greet them (us, the Rudoffs, Brodericks and some other friends I didn’t recognize) and we all made our way to the welcoming ceremonies together.

After an initial moment of shyness, Mordechai and Gaby were at each others sides the entire time, sharing in this special moment together. It was just an amazing experience.

Mordechai actually thinks that Efrat (where the Schickman’s now live) is just past Nofei Aviv (a neighborhood just a small 10 minute walk from our home) and that he and Gaby will hook up regularly. So the realization that Gaby is still at least a 20 minute drive away still hasn’t sunk in. It will.

That afternoon I headed back to the airport to fly to America for the Yeshiva. Unable to travel for the last half year due to Goldie’s illness, the fact that she was now doing well enough to allow me to leave for 10 days was a tremendous step forward in her recovery. The glasses have allowed her to do everything, drive, shop, whatever she wants to do. So the double vision has gone from a crippling problem to a major issue that we can deal with for right now.

There is no question that making the trip was a little scary, especially because the last trip was when the health issues began to come up. Yet, it was a relief to try to get back on track and resume life as originally scheduled.

I was quite flattered on both ends of the trip by the El Al security personnel and ticket agents. They actually spoke to me in Hebrew without even thinking of speaking English to me (OK – one of them asked me “Hebrew or English”). This was a big first.

I am not sure what made me recognizable this time as someone who lives in Israel and speaks Hebrew well enough to converse with them, but it was quite a complement. I know it sounds silly, but that little bit of recognition really made a difference.

The trip was productive (even though I still feel like I am not fully back) and it was great to see so many of our friends and visit with the family when we aren’t having to deal with doctors and tests. I got to go see the kids on visitor’s day in camp (they are having a good summer) and even had the chance to work as well.

A highlight of the trip was getting together with around 20 of our Alumni for a tailgate party and Mets game. It was great to see the guys again and catch up on how they have been doing since Yeshiva ended in June. Being responsible for keeping in touch with the Alumni is probably the best part of my job. I get to keep track with them and see them regularly and it makes saying goodbye to them at the end of the year a little easier.

The trip was very therapeutic for me.

Goldie has been doing very well since the surgery. She really has a very positive attitude and has been very strong. I on the other hand had not been doing as well.

Following the incredibly emotional journey we had gone through, I had a very difficult time in settling down to normalcy. I was so focused on taking care of Goldie and on being totally positive and encouraging for her that when we came home I crashed. There is no question that I was depressed and couldn’t seem to lift myself out of the funk I was in.

I kept thinking that time would help things get easier, but it was very tough. I even mentioned to Larry Gordon (editor of this paper) how I noticed that my articles were getting a little preachy as I talked about other issues (like Sderot) instead of having to think about what we had just been through as a family.

Getting back on track (even a little bit) allowed me to put some distance and normalcy between the past and the present and gave me the chance to get back to the person I am. I know that I will never be the same as I was before Goldie’s illness. But we adjust and will establish a new level of normalcy and will move forward from there.

While we certainly hope for an eventful and productive year, hopefully the events of the second year of Aliyah will be a little less harrying and traumatic.