The Babysitters Return (Article #54) 8/30/2007

Sometimes it seems as if the weeks trudge by as slowly as possible. Other times, time flies by so fast that it is hard to keep a handle on things. Thankfully, we appear to be moving from the former to the latter. I say thankfully because we have been ready for things to pick up for some time so that we can get back into a rhythm.

Just before Shabbat (a week+ ago) Goldie got a frantic call from Chaia Broderick (who made Aliyah only a few weeks after us – to Ramat Beit Shemesh) who needed to immediately bring by one of her kids for Goldie’s inspection. As I left for Shul (we make early Shabbat), Chaia pulled up and brought one of the boys in to have Goldie confirm that he did indeed have hair lice and show Chaia what to do to get rid of them.

I was amazed that the Brodericks had gone a complete year without a single case in their family. After all, it isn’t what goes on in your house that determines if your child gets it – it is what goes on in the house of the kid sitting next to them. If your child’s friend has it and their parents don’t do anything about it, which astoundingly happens often here, viola – now your kid has it too.

Although we haven’t had a case in a while (Goldie checks the kids obsessively for bugs and nits), we have seen enough in the past year to make Goldie a semi expert in handling these things, so she was able to show Chaia what to do. To Chaia’s credit, she did not react as emotionally as Goldie had in our first case and after that one time she was able to handle things on her own.

Over Shabbat we hosted a very nice young couple from down our block, the Schurders (she is from Boston and he grew up in Israel but was born in England) and their kids who have become friends with out little kids (Batya and Mordechai) over the summer.

I haven’t written about it before, but we have made a serious effort at getting back involved socially in the community. As new Olim, we had been invited out a lot in the first six months as the community really opened its arms to us and all the new families. Once we finally began to get our legs underneath us, we had started to reciprocate and host guests in our home when Goldie’s medical issues began and we became somewhat withdrawn as we focused on Goldie’s day to day health and dealing with her issues (including 2 months spent in NJ for diagnosis, treatment and recovery).

Once Goldie felt strong enough, we decided to start slowly, by inviting guests for Seudah Shlishit (the 3rd Shabbat meal) and buying all the food from the bagel store. In fact, our first guests (in June), the Aftels, would not consent to come until I assured them that Goldie would NOT be cooking or doing anything other than set the table and that she really WAS ready to host them.

Seudah Shlishit became lunch a few weeks later and we tried to have at least one family over each week, to get ourselves back into circulation, so to speak. It wasn’t until a few days after the Schurder’s had joined us that I realized what set them apart from all the others who we had either been hosted by or had hosted.

There had previously been people from two different groups that we had interacted with in the past. There were those who invited us simply because we were new in town and they were being welcoming (which in our community has been taken to a whole new level, especially because the vast majority of our neighbors have gone through the same thing we have in such a life changing move). The other group is people who knew us at some time in our lives in America and are reconnecting now that we have been reunited here. These groups are not mutually exclusive.

The Schurder’s represented a third group. They’ve been our neighbors since we moved in (we leave at opposite ends of the same block), and we recognized each other enough to (maybe) say Hi or Shabbat Shalom as we passed each other in the street, yet we weren’t friendly with them until our kids got to be friends in camp this summer.

We didn’t become friendly because we were new olim or they were new olim and one of us was going out of our way to be nice to the “new” people. Which is a first for us since we moved here. Hopefully it will continue.

Actually, there is another family that we wanted to get closer to as well. They have a son in Mordechai’s class (both last year and this upcoming year) and they really seem like very nice people. The problem? They don’t speak English and we are too unconfident in our Hebrew to think about hosting them for a meal. We envision long pauses where we just sit there because we are each uncomfortable with our inability to communicate.

Ironically, it is only the adults who would have this issue, since our kids (with the exception of Chaim) speak enough Hebrew to make this a non issue for them.

Eretz HaTzvi’s new students arrived on Wednesday. We are one of the earliest starting non-charedi Anglo Yeshivot in Israel. Elul is slipping by quite quickly and we wanted to get the earliest jump on the year that we could. I have been through this before with last year’s group so the process is not nearly as new to me as it was last year.

Yet this year we had none of the frenetic activity we experienced a year ago. Thank G-d, no war this year. My boss was not in the army for the month before Yeshiva started and there were no major renovations to preside over as a new employee. I wasn’t a new Oleh, fresh off the plane and as an old hand, I was much better prepared to meet the new students.

Without the rush rush rush of last minute preparations, the whole year opening process had a different flavor this time around and for the most part it went off without a hitch. The guys arrived on time with all their luggage, we took our first tiyul (trip) to the Kotel, they were sorted into their shiurim (classes) and the zman (semester?) is off to a great start.

As opposed to last year I actually know the guys who returned for Shana Bet (a second year of study) which added to my personal excitement in greeting the students. I also happen to know the parents of several of this year’s young men, both from Chicago (where I grew up) or NY (where we lived for 15 years prior to Aliyah), and greeting these students made me feel a bit older than I used to.

The day after the Yeshiva guys arrived Chaim and Aliza flew home as well, having ended their stays at camp this summer.

They had originally been scheduled to return the following week in order to spend additional time with Goldie’s parents and also see my parents who were coming to NY for a wedding later that week. However, about a month ago we got a letter from Aliza’s new school, Chorev, telling us that school would be starting earlier this year.

In order to get Aliza to her orientation, we moved her flight up 5 days and scheduled her to arrive on Thursday afternoon so that I could meet her at the airport and take her straight to the orientation. This meant that I would miss some of the Yeshiva orientation but we do what we have to, don’t we?

I took the van to work that morning, planning to go straight from the Yeshiva in order to maximize my work time. On my drive in, I called Goldie and asked her to check the El Al website to see if maybe the plane would be a few minutes early or late. In retrospect, I should have thought to do so a lot earlier.

Apparently, there was some kind of problem with the ventilation system and the plane ended up leaving five hours late and was not scheduled to arrive until later that evening. Not only did Aliza end up missing her orientation, but I had taken the car with me to Yerushalayim for no reason – leaving Goldie without transportation, three cranky kids and nothing to do with them. You can imagine how thrilled she was when she called me to tell me about the delay.

I recommended she call the school to let them know that Aliza would be missing and ask for her class assignment and that they send home any materials with a neighbor of ours. When she called them they were incredibly upset with her as if it were her fault the plane was delayed.

I was incredulous. After all, had they given us more than three weeks warning about the opening date for school, we might have been able to get her onto a flight that came in a little earlier. What did they expect us to do? We got her on the flight that had space and it was delayed. Sometimes I think I will never understand Israelis. They put us in a tough spot and should have been more understanding.

Luckily, Yaacov Lewis (Cedarhurst) was on the plane with them and lent them his cellphone to call me and let me know that they arrived safely and that the luggage was slow in coming out. Danny Block (Chashmonaim) was also on that flight so we had an impromptu meeting of the 5TJT Israeli Columnists Association in the reception area just outside customs.

I also bumped into Yamin Goldsmith there. Yamin and I had been classmates in elementary school together (we even had Bar Mitzva lessons together) and he and his family live in Nofei Aviv, the next neighborhood over from ours, a ten minute walk away. He runs the Sha’alavim girls program in Yerushalayim and was there to meet their group flight 5 hours late. I am not in the airport for our group arrival, and it was interesting to see how they set up for the girls.

It was nice to have the kids home. We are still missing Chaya, who left a month after the other 2 kids and is staying through their original return date. So we weren’t a complete family yet. However, Goldie had a chance to make their favorite foods and I got my chance to be mean and keep them up to avoid jet lag, so I guess everything ended up as expected.

Next week promises to be stressful too. Chaya comes home. We have to find a Yeshiva for Chaim to learn in and school starts for most of the kids (Mordechai is starting first grade!) as well. Although the calendar said we started Year Two almost two months ago, in reality, as parents of young kids we measure our years by the school year. So Year Two should begin next week.

It is a tremendously different beginning than the one we had a year ago.

i) We understand what people are talking about when we go to parent and/or shul meetings. ii) Our kids (OK – the younger 4 or 5) speak great Hebrew, usually better than their parents do. iii) We are more mentally prepared for school this year, having learned to have absolutely zero preconceptions and expectations about any facet of the educational system here. iv) We are still here – which counts the most.

So, after the big summer lull things should be flying in typical Katz fashion yet again.