Purim Comes but Twice a Year (Article #43) 3/15/2007

We had been looking forward to Purim the entire winter. As new olim, one of the real pleasures has been experiencing the various chagim Israeli style. Visiting the Kotel excavations during the three weeks. Yamim Noraim in our holy land. Succot and our first one day Yom Tov. Channuka with REAL sufganiyot, yet without Santa.

The experience of a major religious holiday in the land of the Jews is something special. Each one has its own special flavor and traditions and is an absolutely eye opening event for people like us who have grown up in a different culture.

We knew that it would be something special, especially for the kids. It was even more exciting when we considered the fact that we are so close to Yerushalayim and its Shushan Purim celebration.

Of course, with Goldie’s recent illness (and no – we still do not have a diagnosis yet and continue to test and test although Goldie is certainly up and about and able to function normally in most areas) we have been quite distracted from our “normal” lives, without much time to prepare ourselves for Purim. It felt as if it came upon us more suddenly than we had anticipated and we had tremendous feelings of guilt toward not preparing the kids for Purim as well as we could have.

A couple of years ago, one of the kids had an awesome idea for us each to dress up as a cat in the hat and be “The Katz in the Hatz.” We really enjoy that costume. Unfortunately, last year we took a break from them and the costumes are in my brother’s house in NJ – so we couldn’t use the “A” costumes.

So we dug into our bag of Purim costumes (after sixteen years of marriage and fifteen years of parenthood you have such things) and pulled out a zebra for Moshe, a policeman for Mordechai and a samurai for Aliza. Batya’s princess had finally gone to costume heaven and we had nothing for Chaya so we ran around town, eventually finding a butterfly for Batya in Ramat Beit Shemesh and having to head to Yerushalayim with Chaya for a costume – where we found a very nice clown suit.

For Mishloach Manot, we had to make a change. For the past fifteen years or so we have given the same thing to our friends (an idea stolen from the Lopin family in Chicago). Each year everyone knew to expect a pineapple and bottle of grape juice wrapped in cellophane, with additional goodies thrown in.

We had initially planned to replicate this package here in Israel. Yet, when I went to the shuk in Mahane Yehuda to pick out some pineapples, I discovered that the price for the smallest of pineapples was something near seven dollars each and the normal sized ones were no less than twelve!

You see, in Israel the fruit and vegetable availabilities are totally controlled by what is in season. The country is too small for each item to always be available, so there aren’t any strawberries or celery to be had in the summer, in the late fall they are in the stores but expensive (and in the case of celery – incredibly puny) and available in abundant supplies (and huge sizes) only at this time of the year.

Pineapple season is only just starting now, so the choices are limited and expensive. Next year, when there is a leap year, we might be able to return to pineapples.

Another difference for this year is the amount of packages we prepared. As new people in the community, we don’t have that many people we consider extremely close friends yet. So we participated in the shul Mishloach Manot (covering most of the people we felt obligated to give something to) as well as the local block Mishloach Manot.

Our block has its own Yahoo newsgroup. With two family houses on one side of the block, and multi family townhouses on the other, there are a lot of people who live in this one block. Since almost everyone is religious and friendly with each other, we have a “grab bag” program where each family is assigned one family to actually deliver a package to and that package covers everyone on the block.

So, with most of the people we know here already covered by the various group packages, we only had a couple of our closest neighbors and those few families outside of our neighborhood left on our list. It was strange to pack a dozen packages and have that be our entire delivery for the day.

Our kids more than made up for it. We had been told that the kids are much more active in giving all their friends. So we were very prepared for the onslaught of requests to give this friend and that friend. We bought them special bags and printed up individual stickers for each kid, and let them enjoy.

On Friday, we went to Chashmonaim to see my brother since he would be traveling to the US Purim night. Our real reason for going to him was the security checkpoint located five minutes from his house.

We had decided to take some of the kids packages and present them to the chayalim (soldiers) stationed at the checkpoint. Living in Beit Shemesh, where we feel removed from the most stringent security issues, we felt that it would be important for the kids to see and experience us personally showing our love and appreciation to the chayalim for all that they do.

The kids were all pumped up to go and they were fighting over who got to personally hand over each bag. The chayalim were wonderful. They posed for a picture with the kids (I wanted to print it here in the paper – but it didn’t come out) and you could see that there appreciation for our visit was sincere. They even let the kids climb up into the guard tower to present a bag to the chayal stationed there.

I think that going to the security checkpoint and sharing a few moments with the chayalim was the most meaningful part of the Purim experience in Israel for me.

Our shul had scheduled Maariv to begin ten minutes late to allow for the bringing of megillot and for the kids to put their costumes on quickly. After the megilla reading, we took the kids to the “social hall” for the shul Purim Party.

After the shul’s party, we took the kids home and I headed to Yerushalayim for a Yeshiva event in a restaurant that evening. Concerned that the teenagers would go overboard in celebrating two days of Purim, we had deliberately scheduled an event for the night of Purim to keep the guys occupied and having fun.

So we had a nice melave malka with them, followed by a Megillat Esther and general knowledge contest between the shiurim. With a special lunch at the restaurant of their choice awarded to the winner, everyone really got into the competition. The competition ended at 1 AM and I headed home.

On Purim day I spent a lot of time driving kids around from place to place dropping off their Mishloach Manot packages. There were kids everywhere we went. Partying, taking each other Mishloach Manot and just simply enjoying the day. It was great to wander around with the kids dressed up without having the rest of the world looking at us as if we were strange.

As we were driving through one of the less religious neighborhoods, we passed a Chabad Mitzvah Tank driving in the other direction with music blasting from a speaker on the roof of the vehicle. I waved my hand out the window as if dancing in rhythm with the music and as they passed us, the driver (expertly) tossed a sealed bag out his window and into mine. The kids pounced on the bag, which turned out to be a Mishloach Manot bag. Only in Israel.

We enjoyed our Purim Seuda with the Broderick family (Nesher and Chaia and kids) who made aliyah just a month after us. We were joined by Alan and Naomi Schwartz and their family (who made aliyah from the 5 Towns something like five years ago) and Darrin and Dina Shaw and their family (who made aliyah from London at around the same time we came).

Chaia had decorated the house and table with masks and with all the kids (and some of the adults) in costume; the mood was festive and fun. We had a nice time and enjoyed the chance to just relax for a few hours with no worries or pressures.

After taking everyone home, I ran back to Yerushalayim to join the Yeshiva for Shushan Purim and the Yeshiva’s Purim mesiba (party). The students put on a very funny skit (full of inside jokes) poking fun at their Rabbeim and it was a lot of fun.

The next day I took Mordechai and Batya with me to the Yeshiva for the Purim Seuda. They were excited to come and celebrate a second day of Purim. The highlight for the kids was seeing a video the students had put together lampooning (among other things) my giving a tour to a prospective student and his father. I have to admit that they did me very well.

We had to leave the Yeshiva before the Seuda ended so that I could drop the kids off and pick Goldie up. Goldie had gotten a call on Purim afternoon (our Purim) that we had been expecting for several weeks. Her sister’s mother in law had unfortunately passed away on Shabbat and the funeral was to take place the night after Shushan Purim at the Har HaMenuchot cemetery.

Although the weather for Purim had been very nice, by the time we got to Har HeMenuchot it was very windy and very cold. The eulogies were brief and conducted in the parking lot, just outside the van that the Chevra Kadisha (burial society) had used in transporting the body to the cemetery from the airport.

We drove behind the van to the section of the section where the burial was to take place, and as a Kohain I had to stay on the road with the women (and two other Kohanim) while the men proceeded to the burial. As cold as it was in the parking lot, it was freezing on the exposed side of the mountain.

After the burial, the aveilim (mourners) needed to daven Maariv and then head back to the airport. Since they weren’t sitting shiva in Israel, they were essentially free to daven anywhere and decided that rather than davening in the airport that they preferred to seize the opportunity to daven at the Kotel.

As their driver, I had the treat of fighting Shushan Purim traffic (not a pretty sight) to get to the old city and Kotel. As residents of Israel, we sometimes take certain things for granted and I think that visiting the Kotel is something we don’t do enough. I go with the Yeshiva, whenever we have a tiyul in the area. But the rest of the family really has to have an excuse to go and it had been a couple of months for Goldie.

I was happy to have a chance to say a short tefilla for Goldie after davening, and I know that Goldie felt the same for herself. There were more people than we had expected to be there, but it was Shushan Purim in Yerushalayim, so I guess that people make an extra effort once they are already there.

As we headed to the airport, we made a stop at the Beit Shemesh exit. Beit Shemesh is about 5 to 7 miles off the highway and we had originally planned to have the aveilim stop at our home for a bite to eat and a break before heading to the airport. Goldie had prepared hard boiled eggs and rolls for them, the traditional first meal for aveilim when beginning shiva.

We hadn’t counted on making a special trip to the Kotel, so time was running short. While driving through traffic, I had arranged for Josh Rudoff (aliyah from the 5 Towns two summers ago) to pick up a package of the food from our house and literally meet us at the side of the road with the food package so that we could make it to the airport on time. It was incredibly nice of him to do it.

Although it was not for good tidings, one positive thing that came out of seeing her brother in law was that he was able to personally see that Goldie is OK and can function; hopefully that report got back to her mother, who is (understandably) very concerned.

On Wednesday Goldie started her ulpan classes again. She has finished the government provided class, but wants to continue to expand her knowledge and Hebrew speaking abilities, so she signed up (and we pay) for additional ulpan classes, twice weekly.

She needed to get a ride from another student, and with her vision issues it was not an easy thing, but she came home very excited that she was able to resume some of her normal activities. Of course, everyone in ulpan made a big fuss over her being back, especially her teacher – making sure that Goldie really had a great day.

By the end of the week we had some truly terrific weather. The temperature was in the 80’s through Shabbat and we sat outside all Shabbat afternoon enjoying. When Goldie mentioned that it was expected to be in the 30’s in NY, we all had a nice laugh.