Home Sweet Home? (Article #41) 3/1/2007

We started the week very hopeful that things were coming to a head. The doctors had decided to let Goldie’s various symptoms incubate to help them confirm an accurate diagnosis and she was scheduled for a whole barrage of tests to begin Sunday morning. One of those tests was a Lumbar Puncture (more commonly known as a spinal tap).

The news we were hearing was good, yet frustrating. Each set of tests came back negative, one after another. Since none of the things they were testing for were something anyone would actually want to have, we were pleased with the initial results. However, as they went down the list to the less serious illnesses, we were impatient to get down to the “getting better” part of being in the hospital and the lack of diagnosis was making us crazy.

We spent the next couple of days waiting for answers. There were test results to come in and they wanted to keep Goldie in for continued observation to ensure that her condition did not get worse. I actually had a chance to get to my office for the first time in three weeks (following my two week trip to the USA and one week in the hospital with Goldie) and catch up on some work for a few hours.

By Tuesday, the doctors decided that there was no immediate cause for concern and that her symptoms will most likely disappear over time. Since they felt that she was past the “getting worse stage” they told us that if she chose to Goldie could go home – which she wanted very badly.

Discharging from the hospital took something like five hours to do. Paperwork had to be written up and processed, orders had to be entered into the computer and we could not leave without our written discharge letter, which apparently we need to take with us for all follow ups to make life easier for our future medical needs (until this entire episode ends).

We decided to surprise the kids and not tell them that Goldie was coming home. By the time we got home late that afternoon, we were happy to be done with the hospital and get a chance to settle back to normal.

Goldie had been complaining since that morning that she felt uncomfortable and she really had a tough time standing up. Apparently, even though the spinal tap had been done two days previously, the side effects only began to occur on Tuesday and since then she has been unable to even sit up for anything more than a minute or two.

I said it last week, but I have to note once again how helpful the two oldest kids have been. They have done the things that needed doing in keeping the younger kids organized and taken care of. I cannot imagine how much more difficult this would have been had we not had teenage kids at home to help out.

Our community has also been wonderful. Josh and Daniella Rudoff arranged for meals to be delivered to the house and keep in touch with us daily to see how things are doing. Yaffa Greenzweig, a fellow student from Goldie’s ulpan (who lives across the street from us) contacted the neighborhood Gemillas Chessed committee who called to make sure that everything was taken care of and make sure we would be home for Shabbat since they were taking care of all our Shabbat needs.

My sister and brother and their spouses call on a regular basis and visit as well. With more experience “in country” and a better understanding of the healthcare system (as well as an availability to sit with Goldie at home allowing me to get in a few additional hours at the office) their assistance has also been invaluable. Especially in helping us to calm nervous parents who are six thousand miles away.

This whole episode has been slightly terrifying. We don’t speak the language. We have no idea how the whole beaurocracy works here regarding insurance, medical care, dealing with the various departments and making sure the right things get done. Even when we ask questions, we are often confused by technical answers given in rapid fire Hebrew and need to ask for repetitions and further explanations.

Even with all the help and support, the sense of being alone is very strong. At the end of the day, everyone still has to head back to their own families and their own lives and it really does lie upon us to work out things for ours as well. We are uncomfortable with the amount of help we are already getting; although we would not be able to cope without it, we would prefer not to need it and cannot wait to be back on our own.

Goldie herself has been quite frustrated. She has been unable to help out at home and being confined to bed for essentially twelve days in a row has begun to drive her crazy. She can’t work, she can’t dress the kids, do homework with them, she really is just stuck. For a woman like Goldie who is always busy with a dozen things at once, this inactivity is very difficult.

(Although I usually write the column in summary of the week through Shabbat, it is a pleasure to inform you that on Sunday Goldie underwent a procedure that allowed her to sit up, stand and even walk comfortably. Hopefully her recuperation will continue and she will have a complete recovery very soon.)

Here is a major plus. To the best of my understanding, all the tests and scans have had a copay equivalent to approximately five and a half dollars. I think. We may have to have some more tests in the next few weeks, so the cost may escalate a couple hundred percent, but I am sure it will still be manageable.

We found out on Erev Shabbat that Goldie’s parents will not be able to join us for Pesach as they had originally planned. One of Goldie’s cousins is celebrating his Bar Mitzva on Chol Hamoed and my in laws had planned to join us for the Yom Tov and “kill two birds with one stone.” Knowing that we had planned to be with Goldie’s side for Pesach, my parents made plans to be with my youngest brother; we will be all alone for Pesach.

We have been alone before, I would guess that we have been alone for Pesach three times in sixteen years. However, this will be our first Pesach in Israel and the kids haven’t seen these grandparents since July – so we were really looking forward to this chag. On the heels of Goldie’s illness, this is a disappointment as well, but there is nothing we can do about it so we will just have to live with it. And look forward to the next trip.

With the proximity to Purim, we have been very hard pressed to prepare anything for the Chag. We will be hosted for the Seudah by our fellow olim the Broderick’s, which removes some of the stress. Yet there are still costumes to organize, mishloach manot to prepare and arrangements for Matanot L’evyonim to make. We feel tremendously behind in our preparations.

By the time you read this, it will be Erev Purim. On behalf of Goldie and our entire family, we want to wish you a Purim Sameach. It is our fervent wish that you all join us next year for Purim, preferable in a rebuilt Yerushalayim (with the coming of Moshiach) but in either case as residents of our holy land and the holiest of cities for a Shushan Purim to remember.