Where were we (article# 47) 6/14/2007

The last “official” time I published an article in these pages, we were still basking in the glow of a wonderful Pesach. We had turned the corner in getting used to our new environment and had what we hope is the first of many great Yamim Tovim here in our home.

We had devoted a meager couple of hours of our time to expressing our support to the precious Chayalim (“Israeli soldiers”) who stand a post and protect all of us, citizen and tourist alike, by distributing Pesach treats at several checkpoints. However, the impact of that small amount of time still brings cheer to our hearts and reminds us how lucky we are to live in a place where each act of chessed (kindness) is magnified and treasured all the more.

We were looking forward to experiencing the spring and our first Lag B’Omer as Israelis. We were about to enter the home stretch of year one and began to look forward to “YEAR TWO: The Time When Things Actually Begin To Make Some Kind Of Sense.”

Goldie continued to suffer from double vision, but although we cursed it and were annoyed by its affect upon our lives, we were optimistic that it would fade in time and be just another story to tell the grandchildren. We cursed it then – we bless it now.

What can we say? The roller coaster ride that has been year one has at times threatened to overwhelm us and swallow us up. Yet, each time we reached what we thought was “the breaking point” for us, that time when we could really take no more – another messenger was sent from heaven to watch over us and make sure we were OK.

And – to show us that there is no such thing as a breaking point. Each challenge is just that. Each of us has to find it within themselves to put one foot in front of the other and continue to walk along the path that is our lives.

I found it ironic (and a little embarrassing) that two weeks after I had written a (somewhat irritated) article about how confident we were with the Israeli medical system we headed off to America to treat Goldie’s cancer. There I was insisting that Israel’s physicians were equal to the task and then bailing out on them.

However, I still remain confident in the Israeli system. Depending on the illness. Goldie still has her double vision. It is an illness that is almost certainly unrelated to the cancer. She is still being treated by her Israeli neurologist and our American neurologist (recognized as a giant in the field) commented to us what an excellent workup she had gotten in Israel and that we certainly were safe in returning home and continuing diagnosis/treatment here.

However, there is no doubt that coming to America for the cancer was the right move. With a much larger population, the US doctors simply have greater experience and therefore expertise than it is possible for an Israeli doctor to have.

It was a difficult decision to leave, but there is a Rav here who specializes in helping people find the best medical care for their needs. He is recognized as an expert in knowing who the best doctors for each illness are. When he advised us to go to Sloan Kettering, we knew that it was the right move.

According to the consensus of Goldie’s doctors (and certainly according to Hashem’s plan) the double vision was a gift that saved Goldie’s life. Without the double vision we would never have discovered the cancer so early or had an opportunity to treat it.

The double vision is the reason that we can once again look forward to telling these stories to our grandchildren (G-d willing).

It is many of you who we also have to thank for this. When Goldie was first diagnosed, we debated disclosing her illness so publicly. In the end, Goldie decided that we needed all the tefillot (prayers) we could get and that I should ask you to join us in davening for her recovery.

We were blown away by your response. We averaged 15 - 20 emails of support each and every day. Goldie and I read each and every one. In the beginning, I tried to answer each and every one, but after the surgery it became impossible. Please don’t think we didn’t see them or read them. We did – each one.

I know it sounds like a cliché, but we actually got a tremendous comfort and a lot of strength in getting these emails and hearing that people were davening, learning and doing mitzvot in her z’chut (merit). People cared enough to make us part of their lives and be a part of her recovery.

Thank you.

Until we experienced it ourselves, we didn’t realize how powerful even a small act of kindness can be to the recipient. From the former neighbor who brought Goldie flowers for Shabbat when I was in Israel for the weekend visiting the kids before the surgery to the family who was donating blood in the hospital on the day of Goldie’s surgery and came to the OR area because the wanted to say one Perek of Tehillim for Goldie with me and then be on their way to the other former neighbor who (she says) just happened to be in the neighborhood that day and brought me lunch while I waited for news (simply saying “Hi – I brought you some lunch”, giving me the bag and then leaving so that I wouldn’t feel pressured to make small talk) to many many more people who did so much, the encouragement we got from all of you was what kept us going forward the entire time.

There are so many people to whom we are incredibly indebted.

Goldie’s brother David and his wife Marcia, who literally welcomed us into their home and made us feel so much a part of their normal household. David worked together with me in researching Goldie’s illness (which is so rare that it occurs in less than .5% of all new lung cancer cases) and went to every doctor’s appointment. He worked tirelessly in making sure Goldie got the right care and was an excellent sounding board with whom to weigh our options.

My parents unbelievably dropped everything and with less than a week’s notice flew to Israel to be with our kids and make sure the house functioned. For five weeks. I am sure it was incredibly difficult (six kids are an impossible enough task when you acquire them one at a time, no less so when they are suddenly dumped in your lap). My brother and sister checked in on them regularly, coming by the house to make sure all continued to be well.

Chaia Broderick (who was also running her own home single handedly while her husband Nesher worked in America – welcome home to Nesher who finally made the permanent move to be based in Israel last week instead of commuting) and Daniella Rudoff made sure that there were meals in the house (and continue to do so), that the kids were at all their activities and doctors appointments and that there was always a helping hand available if one was needed in our absence.

Our former neighbor (a pathologist) who took his time to analyze the slides and make sure we had an accurate diagnosis as well as come to see us in the hospital right before Shabbat and give us a very unofficial pathology report (the official one came in the following Wednesday) that allowed us to have a special Shabbat in the hospital.

Satmar Bikur Cholim and Chai Lifeline who made sure we hade food in the hospital (especially the Shabbat packages).

Food from neighbors in Bet Shemesh. Neighbors calling to see if my parents needed anything and keeping an eye on the kids for us. Tehillim groups worldwide. Special Tzedaka events in Goldie’s zechut. Special learning done for Goldie’s zechut. Hafrashat Challa (separating the challa).

There is no way to say thank you for everything that was done. We only ask that you channel those energies and make the special mitzvoth, davening and learning a permanent part of your lives. And continue to include Golda Susya Bat Shoshana in your tefillot for a complete recovery from her surgery as well as the double vision.

The weeks we were in America really shlepped on us. There were sometimes days that went by between appointments and we were very focused on continuing to educate ourselves on her tumor. We spent hours in the Teaneck library translating all of the hospital reports into English for our doctors.

I was in Israel for Lag B’Omer, but Goldie missed it. We missed Yom HaAtzmaut, Yom Yerushalayim and Shavuot. We missed so much (especially our kids – skype can’t replace a good hug).

Chaim and Chaya (the oldest two) were totally awesome! OK, so they might have stretched the rules here and there in our absence, but they literally threw themselves into helping Bubbee and Zaidy and watching the littler kids. The pressure on them was enormous. Eema and Abba gone for six weeks, Eema with a serious illness and still having the fortitude to keep the other kids moving in the right direction while still struggling themselves in adapting to a new language, culture and reality.

The kids continued their phenomenal progress in our absence. The night after our return we went to Parent Teacher conferences for Aliza (grade 6) and Batya (grade 2). Aliza’s teacher was so encouraging and we felt real pride in hearing how well she has acclimated and that her language skills are so strong that one would think she has been in the country for several years instead of several months.

Batya’s teacher told us that Batya is doing well, not just for a new Olah or even someone who has been in country for several years – she is doing as well or better than native born Israelis. What else could we have asked for?

All the kids have worked hard (and continue to do so) to acquire Hebrew (OK – not Chaim) and acclimate. They are thankfully doing very well socially (so far) and are really very happy.

Chaim took his GED and takes great pleasure in announcing that he is “all done” in High School now. Here’s an idea for you – send your kid to Israel for a one year program to get a GED diploma. The tuition (even though it is private and much, much more than anything anyone else pays here in Israel) for the year is maybe 60% of what you are paying there AND you totally skip 12th grade (and its tuition)!

Chaim’s team is in the flag football league playoffs and are one game away from the championships.

There is so much more that I could say about the last few months and our incredible journey here in Israel. We are thankful that Hashem has gotten us to this point and we continue to look forward never backward. Sometimes you feel His tap on your shoulder and feel His presence in your life. We have felt much more than that. There is no question for us that He continues to watch over us and that his kindness in making Goldie sick with one illness in order to expose the other illness is His way of openly showing His active involvement in our lives and the fact that His grand plan not only exists but that we have been granted an unbelievable gift to see it in operation and catch a glimpse of His work.

We look forward to continuing to share parts of our lives with you and hope that you will visit us here in Israel (be it for a vacation or relocation) very soon.

Mazal Tov to (5 Towns Jewish Times publisher) Larry and Esta Gordon on the birth of their grandson, born to their children Malkie and Moshe Hirsch. May the parents be zocheh to bring him to his Brit Milah and may the entire family enjoy only Yiddishe nachas from him.

Shalom! Welcome Back to Israel! 5/31/2007

After a very busy few weeks and nothing but the best care at Memorial Sloan Kettering Hospital, Goldie and I were given the authorization to (finally) return home and we did so last Sunday.

Goldie has been recovering well from her surgery. Boruch H-shem, the tumor was completely removed and the operation went well with an excellent result. Without too many unnecessary details I will simply say that the type of cancer she had was extremely rare, and that she has an excellent prognosis for a full recovery without the need for any further treatment.

As I begin to collect my thoughts and we return to our normal everyday life, I am struck more and more by the extreme kindness that we were blessed with in Goldie’s being stricken with double vision, an ailment from which she still suffers and we hope to have a complete recovery from in the near future. Without this ailment, which our doctors feel was totally unrelated to the cancer, we would never have discovered or dealt with the tumor.

The list of “it just so happened” events are too long to count. “It just so happened” that the regular neurologist for our health plan was out of the country and we had to go outside the plan to a different neurologist when the double vision first came on. The result? This doctor, against the opinion of most of the other physicians kept pursuing the diagnosis and inadvertently discovered the tumor.

“It just so happened” that Goldie’s brother has experience with helping a relative who has lung cancer. The result? We had a directory of physicians, experts in the field to consult with and knew from the get go who would be the best choice, since all the research into the doctors had already been done.

“It just so happened” that Goldie’s brother was a chavruta (study partner) in Israel with someone who currently owns imaging centers and literally opened the doors to us when we first arrived and were having complications in getting the initial scans approved by the insurance company. The result? We were able to provide the doctors with the necessary information to aggressively move forward and schedule the surgery much quicker than we had any hope to expect.

The list goes on and on. But, perhaps most importantly, “IT JUST SO HAPPENED” that through these pages and the internet that we had exposure to literally thousands of people. The result? Goldie was the beneficiary of thousands of peoples davening for her complete recovery. She had hundreds of Tehillim groups and Shmiras Haloshon groups praying for her. Several Yeshivos had their students saying Tehillim in her Zechut (merit) every single day. There were people taking upon themselves additional personal mitzvot and dedicating them to her zechut.

Clearly, there is no such thing as “it just so happened”. As I have written before, the experiences we have had in coming to Israel and acclimating to our new home have repeatedly shown us that there is no such thing as a coincidence or happenstance and that there was clearly a reason that we needed to have all these things in place for us.

The hundreds of emails and messages we got from everyone were so supportive and so encouraging to us that we were confident and hopeful that H-shem would answer these tefillos with a cure and recovery for Goldie, and we know without a doubt that each and every person who davened, learned, did an extra mitzvah or whatever they personally could do was a significant part of Goldie’s recovery and we are extremely grateful to all of you for making us a part of your lives and prayers.

Of course, she still has a long recuperation from major surgery ahead as well as what we hope is a diagnosis and cure for the double vision as well. So we ask that you continue to think of us and daven for a Refuah Shleima for Golda Susya Bat Shoshana and all Cholei Yisrael.

A Personal Response by Rav Aryeh Zev Ginzberg - 4/26/2007

The following article was written by Rav Aryeh Zev Ginzberg for the 5 Towns Jewish Times and is reprinted here with permission of the author.

For more than a year, the readership of this newspaper has been fascinated with the weekly column written by Shmuel Katz about his planning for, and then carrying out, the relocation of his family to Eretz Yisrael.

He caught our attention as he described in great detail the trials and tribulations of the massive task and awesome responsibility of uprooting an entire family from the only home they had ever known and boldly fulfilling the dream that we all have - yet too few see realized - to relocate to our Holy Land.

While the articles over the year have been informative, entertaining, and truly inspiring, nothing could have prepared us for the last installment. In last week's brief but emotionally wrenching article, titled "A Personal Note," Shmuel Katz shared with all of us the shocking and very painful news of his wife's illness and diagnosis (may HaKadosh Baruch Hu send her a refuah sheleimah b'karov).

With so many who shared with me their shock and pain after reading the terrible news, I would like to publish a personal response, on behalf of all their friends, to Reb Shmuel and Goldie.

To even attempt to understand HaKadosh Baruch Hu's Divine plan for each and every one of us is humanly impossible. The Torah tells us that darchei Hashem nistaros - the ways of Hashem are hidden from us. Yet someone recently shared with me a fascinating insight from the Lakewood Mashgiach, HaRav Mattisyahu Salomon, shlita, that was so profound and important that I shared it with more than 150 women who joined for our shul's annual Shabbos HaGadol derashah last month:

There was a young non-religious couple that had one child, a young boy. Though they had successful careers, affluence, and an active social life, they felt that something was still missing in their lives. They attended a Gateways Shabbaton, and then several Discovery seminars, and after much soul-searching decided together to totally change their lifestyle and became shomrei Torah u'mitzvos.

Soon after relocating to an Orthodox community and adopting a Torah way of life, their young son - a beautiful and wonderful child, the source of all their pride and joy - was diagnosed with a terrible, life-threatening illness. Needless to say, they were devastated. They began to question how G-d could do this to them. After all, they totally uprooted their lives for Hashem; was this their reward? They began to question: is this a punishment; is it a test; a challenge? They went to the rav of their shul, who asked them to come with him to the Lakewood mashgiach to hear his insights and response to their heartfelt questions.

After Rav Salomon heard their story, he responded as follows: This is neither a test nor a punishment. There was a decree in Heaven that your child will have to become ill (we are not privy to why), and Hashem, in his infinite love and compassion for you, saw that you were not strong enough to handle this decree - that it would destroy your family and you would fall apart. So Hashem caused you to question your existence and purpose in life, and to search for answers, to find Gateways and Discovery and to become Torah-committed Jews. You would now be filled with bitachon and emunah, fortified and strengthened to face this difficult challenge that is before you. Hashem did not punish you, nor did he test you. He prepared you!

The family was so strengthened and encouraged by these words that not only did they face their challenge, they overflowed with great inner strength to help others. And they would attend family retreats from Chai Lifeline and continue to inspire others, as well.

So many people have asked me: After such a life-changing move to Eretz Yisrael, done with such love and joy for our beloved land, how could this happen? And the penetrating words of the mashgiach reverberate in my mind.

Just maybe HaKadosh Baruch Hu wanted the family to have extra z'chuyyos, and coordinated events so that they would find themselves in Eretz Yisrael - and to do so in such a public way as a way of providing z'chuyyos.

And what z'chuyyos they are! Not only the merit of fulfilling the mitzvah of yishuv ha'aretz (settling the land) - which according to many Rishonim is today a mitzvah d'oraysa (see Ramban Bamidbar 3 and in hashmatos to Sefer HaMitzvos No. 4) - but much greater is the mitzvah of inspiring so many other people to find their strength to make aliyah as well. At least two families from my community have told me that without any question, their decision to make aliyah is completely due to Shmuel Katz's ongoing series on the life and challenges of an oleh.

This past Pesach, we spent Yom Tov in St. Petersburg, Florida, where we met so many wonderful people. One young family from Baltimore told me that they are in the final preparations of planning their move to Eretz Yisrael and were inspired to do so by Shmuel Katz's article, which her sister in Woodmere sends to her each week.

I asked what it is, exactly, about the articles that inspired her. She explained that most of the fear and anxiety of aliyah is the fear of the unknown: How will the children adjust to the language, the school schedules, etc., etc.? Here they would read each and every week the trials and tribulations of the Katz family detailing their successes and challenges. She realized "if they could do it, so can we." She concluded that as she finalizes her plans, no less than five other families of their friends and relatives are planning to follow their lead.

What unbelievable z'chuyyos. To not only build Eretz Yisrael with your own sacrifice, but to inspire a multitude of others to do the same. In the words of the mashgiach, HaKadosh Baruch Hu has prepared for you so many z'chuyyos which will no doubt be a vehicle for a complete refuah and speedy recovery.

And even to many of us who unfortunately are unable at this time to follow the Katz family's lead, it has instilled in us a greater yearning for Eretz Yisrael, which is almost as important.

My friend and colleague, Rav Yaakov Feitman, once shared a story about a chassid who sent a letter to his rebbe, the Rebbe of Zhikov (Rabbi Yehuda Horowitz), who lived in Eretz Yisrael. He wrote that though he had to leave Eretz Yisrael years earlier because of parnasah, he yearns to return to Eretz Yisrael. The Rebbe wrote back and said, "It's better that you live outside Eretz Yisrael and long for the land, than to live in the land and long for chutz la'aretz." He concluded, "If the time should come, chas v'shalom, that you no longer yearn for Eretz Yisrael, then you must return immediately."

For many of us who are unable to currently join the Katz family in Eretz Yisrael, maybe our yearning for Eretz Yisrael is lacking, as well. The articles that depict the Katz family's aliyah experience has made it into our homes and into our hearts, and hopefully our yearning has returned. For that alone, we owe them a great sense of hakaras ha'tov, and may the z'chuyyos of all the enhanced kavod and ahavas Eretz Yisrael be a z'chus for Goldie to return to her home and family in perfect health.

We are in the month of Iyar. Many are aware that Iyar forms an acronym of "Ani Hashem rof'echa" ("I am Hashem, your Healer"), but are not sure why this month is associated with refuah. The Bnei Yissaschar (Chodesh Iyar, Maamar 1-3) explains that it is because the mon in the desert began to fall in the month of Iyar. The mon was called the lechem avirim, because it became totally absorbed into the body and cured anyone of any illness that he or she may have had, and so this month became a segulah for all forms of refuah.

Our personal response to Shmuel and Goldie Katz is that in the merit of all their wonderful z'chuyyos of building Eretz Yisrael with their bodies and their hearts, and in the z'chus of the month of Iyar, may they be zocheh to a complete refuah and continue to inspire the rest of us with their love and devotion to Eretz Yisrael, until 120 years. In the meanwhile, we ask all our readers to please daven in the z'chus of Golda Susya bas Shoshana for a refuah sheleimah.

A Personal Note (Article #46) 4/19/07

"As we drove home with the kids still bursting with excitement and pleasure from the experience, Goldie commented to me that she would love to go out every week and do the same thing. No matter how many times we go out to support our chayalim, I hope that each time I have the same excitement and emotion as I had that Sunday."

I wrote those words last week with joy in my heart and a satisfaction that we have really found a sense of home and belonging in our move here. Three days later, our lives were forever changed.

On Wednesday morning, we got a call from the doctor to come in so that Goldie could be scheduled for some more tests. When we arrived, the doctor sat us down to deliver the news that they had finally identified what they believe is the source of her problems.

A scan ordered by her neurologist had discovered an abnormal cluster of cells, and her biopsy results showed a malignant tumor.

We are obviously terrified at what may come and are investigating all avenues of treatment, both here and internationally. We pray to Hashem that he deliver a cure to us and that we should have the merit of continuing our lives together here in Israel.

We do not regret our move in any way. This illness had been developing before we packed our first box or suitcase and is clearly part of Hashem's grand plan for us.

We look forward to spending many more years here in the land that is truly home for each and every one of us. We debated the merits of so publicly disclosing her illness, but Goldie turned to me on Sunday morning and said, "Thousands of people read the paper, and each one of them is a person who can daven for me."

So I ask each and every one of you to include Golda Susya bat Shoshana in your prayers. Please add her name to your Tehillim lists and your Mi Shebeirach lists and ask Hashem to grant her a full and complete recovery.

Just One Seder (Article #45) 4/12/07

It snowed there? On Pesach?

We had the most beautiful weather; it might have even been a little on the hot side, but we'll take it. The weather here has been kind of funny, we've alternated between chilly and boiling hot for a couple of weeks with a little bit of rain thrown in every once in a while, although we don't expect much in the way of rain from now on.

We were a little nervous going into the Pesach season. In America, we were familiar with the hashgachot (kosher supervision) and products and had developed (almost) a routine in what we needed to buy and in what quantities. However, and this is an issue we have struggled with since arriving here, there are so many different hashgachot here that we really have to focus each and every time we go grocery shopping to make sure that we buy products that we would actually eat. Often, the same exact product with the same exact package comes with two different hashgachot and you need to be sure you buy the right one (milk is a very good example).

Yet, for Pesach there is another level of confusion added to the mix. Specifically, kitniyot.

In the US, where the majority of consumers follow the traditions of the Ashkenazim and do not eat kitniyot, finding a product that is kosher for Pesach AND contains kitniyot is the exception. If you go to the average store and buy Kosher for Pesach products – you can rest assured that they do not have kitnoyot at all.

Here in Israel, we have the exact opposite circumstance. The majority of the population here follows the Sephardic traditions and eat products that contain kitniyot. Hence, every supermarket carries a preponderance of items that are listed as Kosher for Passover and yet we could not buy or eat them.

So we had to be extremely careful about what we bought and make sure that it was appropriate for us. Often, if a products label did not clearly state that it did or didn't have kitniyot, we decided to just skip it, since we weren't sure if it was acceptable for us or not.

So, there was almost no Pesach cereal to be had (hey – they eat CORNFLAKES), lollipops were a big deal (and I am the candy man so I really had to find some), mayonnaise was a tough find, there was no coffee whitener at all and pareve margarine was a total dream, just to name a few items. We had been warned about these issues, so we were approaching the whole issue cautiously.

Then, one of our neighbors mentioned to us that they went to a specific store in Yerushalayim, which carried many American products for Pesach. They specifically shopped there so that they could not only have an easier time dealing with the hashgachot and kitniyot issues, but also because they were able to find many of the products they were familiar with and make the whole experience a little simpler.

We decided to follow their lead and are very glad that we did. Mayonnaise? Gefen (from America). Gefilte fish? Meal Mart. Cereal? Crispy O's (Yeah – they taste horrible here too, but we had to give the kids something).

They still had some kitniyot stuff there (imagine – Kosher for Pesach Chummus), but for the most part we were able to avoid most of the aggravation of shopping for Pesach Israeli style.

Cleaning for Pesach was also a little different. We had never had granite counter tops before, which was a real treat. Our oven here does NOT self clean (what a pain). However, we have only been living in this house for about eight months, and we are the first people to live here, so it was pretty easy as a whole.

Here's another benefit of living in Israel – food prices do not automatically rise for Pesach. Imported items are of course as expensive as they would normally be year round. However, basic items keep the same prices. So our meats, dairy and grocery items like ketchup and jelly (well, we bought Kedem Concord Grape jelly – so it was a little more) were the same price for Pesach as they are year round. The only thing that was more expensive was the shankbone for the Seder plate. In the US, they always gave it to us for free, but here we had to buy it.

Another good adjustment we had to make was in the amount of things we needed for the Seder. After all, we only needed enough for one where in the past we had two. So we bought less wine and grape juice, less matzot, less romaine lettuce, less of a lot of things. We even bought less meats and prepared less food, since we only had six meals (two on the first day, two on Shabbat Chol Hamoed and two on the last day) instead of the ten we used to have.

We did have to buy some new appliances. Our food processor and blender we used with a converter. But our hot water urn and microwave weren't compatible, so we bought the cheapest ones we could lay our hands on (we only use them one week a year) and added them to our Pesach boxes.

We were really in a groove heading into Pesach, when of course the usual happened. We all got sick.

It is so normal for us that we took it pretty much in stride. It made us alter our preparation schedule a little and do some things at the last minute, but everything was done on time and we were ready when our company showed up and the Chag started.

People had commented to us that they were surprised that we had decided to host guests. After all, Goldie still isn't driving and we have other pressures that we were dealing with.

At the end of the calendar year in the US, the newspapers run story after story about the fact that people often get depressed during “the holiday season” and I never understood why. Until this year.

So for us, there was really no other consideration. Once her parents couldn't come and we realized we would be alone (my brother had already committed to be in a hotel and my sister's husband is Sephardi and we can't eat the same food), we knew that we had to have company no matter what.

I cannot remember a time that I didn't know Steve Kirshner. Our families have been friends for as long as I can remember and as teenagers through the time he made Aliyah in the mid-90's, we spent a lot of time together (even after I was married).

I came to Israel to be at his wedding to Amy, and for those who remember, Goldie and I were privileged to attend the Brit Mila of their youngest son which coincided with both Yom HaAtzmaut as well as our pilot trip to Israel last year. Although we now live 20 miles apart (instead of 6,000), we still rarely get together, so we were thrilled when they accepted our invitation to join us for the Seder.

We are not known for our long lasting Sedarim, so it was a little bit of a surprise when we finished a bit after 2 AM, which is an hour or more longer than usual for us. However, the kids had a great time and it wasn't like we had to hold anything back and save it for the next night anyway.
Our kids got along very well and kept themselves occupied (and out of our way) for most of the day and before we knew it, Yom Tov was over. It was definitely strange to count Sefirat HaOmer day One at the minyan in the parking lot AFTER Yom Tov and not at the Seder as usual.

People have asked us if it was strange to only have one Seder and one day of chag. It really wasn't. I think that the fact that everyone else here only has one of each made us feel as if we fit in. It would have been strange to have a second seder.

We took advantage of the terrific weather on the first day of Chol HaMoed and took the kids to a jeep/ATV place just outside Bet Shemesh. We had a chance to drive through a rock quarry, vineyards, the woods and had spectacular views from the top of a mountain. After the ride, we sat at a scenic overlook and enjoyed a picnic lunch (matzo and just about anything) before heading home. It was an awesome day that we all enjoyed.

The next morning we headed to Teveria for the Bar Mitzva of Goldie's first cousin, Chaim Sinensky. His family had come to Israel for Pesach and we joined them for davening and his Siyum Mishnayot in their hotel. Goldie's grandmother was also there and her sisters, who left Russia in 1990 and now live in the Maalot and Acco areas and their families joined us as well.

After breakfast in the hotel, Goldie's aunt and uncle had arranged a day of touring for the whole family (and friends). Our first stop was Tzfat, where we visited the shul's of the Ari HaKodesh and Rav Yosef Karo and also toured the artists market. We then headed to a local ranch, where we went horseback riding for an hour through the mountains near Tzfat. Even the little kids had a chance to ride a pony in the corral while the adults were on “the trail.”

By Erev Shabbat we were very tired, so we essentially took the day off and relaxed.

Two weeks ago I wrote about an organization called Standing Together and their Pesach project of distributing chocolate and other treats to the chayalim (Israeli soldiers) who are standing guard at various checkpoints.

The people of Standing Together actually deliver pizzas, felafel, coffee and other items to the soldiers throughout the year. They have a specially outfitted trailer that they use to bring hot food and our wishes of support directly to the chayalim who are putting themselves in danger in order to ensure our security from terrorists.

We had actually taken it upon ourselves to distribute mishloach manot to the chayalim on Purim, and when we were asked to volunteer with Standing Together, we jumped at the opportunity.

So we headed off on the last day of Chol HaMoed to meet the Standing Together trailer at a checkpoint, and try to visit as many chayalim as possible, offering them our thanks for leaving their families (most of these chayalim are actually reservists) to stand their posts – especially while the rest of us were busy with our various Chol HaMoed entertainment activities.

Words fail me. There is no way to describe the emotions and bond we felt in interacting with the chayalim. Without fail, when we wished them a Chag Sameach and said thank you to them, they not only expressed their appreciation for our coming to visit them – but also their feeling that no thanks was needed since they are “just doing their job.”

We must have seen 100+ soldiers at the various checkpoints (plus a couple of jeeps that we flagged down while driving on the highway between checkpoints) and there was not a single one who did not give us and our children a big smile, a loud wish of “Chag Sameach” and a real sense of appreciation for what we were doing for them. And all this when WE were trying to say thanks to THEM and not the other way around.

It wasn't the chocolate bars, the potato chips or the soda. It was the smiles of the kids and the letters we delivered from schoolchildren in the US. It was the understanding that we knew exactly what they were giving up in order to protect us and that we were willing to come out and say thank you. That made all the difference in the world.

As we drove home with the kids still bursting with excitement and pleasure from the experience, Goldie commented to me that she would love to go out every week and do the same thing. No matter how many times we go out to support pur chayalim, I hope that each time I have the same excitement and emotion as I had that Sunday.

Of Tiyulim and Mesibot (Article #44) 3/29/07

Last week I got an email from the editor of the 5 Towns Jewish Times asking why I hadn't written an article for the week. I admit I myself was perplexed why it seemed that I had no time anymore – not just for writing, but for other work that I had been accustomed to getting done on the computer like our Yeshiva's monthly newsletter.

Then it hit me. With Goldie's inability to drive, I have been driving to work every day. It saves time (about a half hour each way) and also gives me the freedom to run errands for the family during the day and also on my way home. With all the groceries and sundry our family of eight goes through on an average week, there are a lot of errands to run (and a lot of things are actually cheaper in Jerusalem).

So I haven't taken the train. I have waxed poetic in these pages about how much I enjoy the train. It relaxes me and gives me an hour and a half each day of solitude and serenity (no cellphone signal for a large portion of the trip). The scenery is great. Yet the biggest difference is in my work.

I had taken to doing most of my writing on the train. With my headphones on listening to either the Sameach Music Podcast or the various ESPN radio and WGN radio podcasts I subscribe to (for free) I sat on the train and wrote. Emails. Articles. Newsletters. General correspondence for the Yeshiva. I sat with my laptop and really made the most of that time (OK – so I occasionally watched a movie or video on the laptop, so what).

I hadn't realized how fundamentally different our lives have been for the last few months. We have (once the initial shock and panic wore off) begun to adjust to our new circumstances. We have been told that although the vision problems are not representative of a major health issue, it could take up to six months for her symptoms to abate. Basically, although they continue to test and monitor her on a regular basis, we just have to wait it out (like a virus).

So we have adjusted the way we get things done and have reapportioned our responsibilities accordingly.

Sometimes I get frustrated because I have to do the running around. Other times she is at her wits end because she feels confined and limited in what she can do. Yet, we are (thankfully) managing, and the kids have been great at helping out as well.

Israeli schools go on what they call their "Tiyul Shnati" (annual trip) in this season. Depending on the grade level, they go to various places of interest (mostly hiking in a riverbed or up a mountain) and stay one or two nights in a youth hostel or dormitory of a Yeshiva that is on vacation. Aliza had a tiyul shnati this year in the Northern Negev, with an overnight stay in Yerucham (a Yeshiva town in the middle of nowhere).

She has really acclimated to being here. She is our second best Hebrew speaker (Batya is amazingly the best of the bunch – she reads Israeli fiction in Hebrew on her grade level in 2 ^nd Grade) and is exuberant about everything she does. She got into the three middle/high schools she applied for and is really doing quite well.

Chaya was supposed to have gone on her tiyul at the end of the week, but a forecast of heavy rains in the northern regions of the country caused the school to cancel the trip. Not a happy day in our house.

The day after Aliza got back, Goldie and Aliza together joined Mordechai for his birthday party in Gan. Happy Sixth Birthday Mordechai. We had a joint party with "Akiva," another new Oleh whose birthday was also that week.

Discounting the fact that it was in Hebrew, the party was uniquely Israeli (Aliza who is reading this as I write says that is was "so much cuter than in America") with special crowns for the birthday boys, games, a cake, drinks and so on. They make a special table for the boys, with thrones for them and special chairs for their mothers. There is music and dancing and the party lasts for well over an hour.

Although we had heard it before, Goldie was amazed to see how well Mordechai is getting on with his Hebrew. The Gannenet (Morah) would tell him what they were going to do and then say to him, "Now tell Akiva in English." He really is the translator for some of the kids! Pretty good for a kid who got nauseous every time he heard Hebrew.

The day after his party, we had a nasty stomach virus (that has apparently hit a lot of Beit Shemesh) begin its run through the family. In Mordechai's case it was so severe that he woke up dehydrated and needed two IV bags at the doctor's office to make sure he was ok. They actually thought he might have had appendicitis.

That night, in a routine follow up with her private doctor, we were pleased to see that one of Goldie's symptoms seemed to show slight improvement. While we were warned not to read too much into it, we still were encouraged. The doctor, apparently feeling that we had too much free time on our hands, scheduled her for yet another barrage of tests.

The next week was another series of medical tests and follow ups. We went to the hospital for a check up with the head of the department (who was Goldie's attending physician when she was in the hospital as well). Interestingly, he did not notice the improvement that her private doctor had seen, but instead noted a strengthening of her eye muscles which should (hopefully) eventually result in the return of her normal vision.

Chaya went on her rescheduled tiyul shnati to Northern Israel and the Galil. Chaya is not necessarily the most outdoorsy of our kids, so we were interested to see how she would respond to the trip.

Her first day went well, with Kayaking down what she termed a "dirty, smelly little river" (we have no idea which one) and then to visit the kever of Rav Meir Baal Haness. The next day Goldie got a phone call from her while she was in the middle of a six and a half hour hike. Her only words? "I HATE NATURE!"

However, she did have a really terrific time. It really wasn't what she was doing, since she didn't like what she was doing. But she and her friends had a really great time bonding together.

Chaim started his own team in the Israeli Flag Football League. He had been on a team that was disbanding and wanted to make sure he would play the second season, so he decided to make his own team. He contacted all the players for the team, and since a couple of his classmates were playing on the team, he went to the Director of his program and asked if they would sponsor his team.

They agreed.

So he is the captain of the GMAX team in the High School division of the football league. It is amazing to see his growth. Aside from the growth that you would normally expect from a teenager, the culture here really expects a lot of independence and responsibility from our youth and Chaim has really taken to that message.

Even the younger kids are much freer here than they would have been in America. We have an eight and six year old taking our two year old a few blocks to Gan on their own. They walk to the supermarket (about half a mile) by themselves to go to after school activities and routinely disappear on Shabbat afternoon to be with their friends who live throughout the neighborhood. We often don't see them for hours at a time as they wander in packs from house to house.

I had been looking forward to going to our first Israeli wedding. On Wednesday night of last week, we thought we were going to get our chance. We attended the wedding of Elisheva Lipkin, the daughter of Menachem and Randi Lipkin (they have appeared here before), our neighbors from down the block. We were really very excited to go to our first Israeli wedding, albeit in Bnei Brak.

Well, we still have more waiting to do. The wedding was awesome, but we could've been in Brooklyn. Very American. Not that Israeli means bad, but we could tell that this was an American wedding from the minute we walked in. It was a lot of fun (especially when the band started playing "Mission Impossible" and then moved on to various cartoon themes) and a nice break from the ordinary.

For the Shabbat Sheva Brachot we hosted the Chatan's uncle and aunt, Shimmy and Shirley Storch. As soon as I heard their names I realized that they were Eli Storch's parents (Eli is a Rebbi in DRS and he and Yaffa lived a block away from us in Woodmere where he was a regular in the Motzei Shabbat Maariv Minyanim in my basement). Right before Shabbat, as the Storch's called America to wish Shabbat Shalom to the Woodmere contingent, we had a chance to say Hi, which was nice.

Interestingly, the Chatan's sister Miriam is a student in TMM, the high school that Chaya would have attended in Far Rockaway and where almost all of her friends go to high school. So, even though they had never met, they had a chance over Shabbat to "catch up" on what is going on in America.

As Pesach is fast approaching and we are all preparing for the chag, I want to wish all of you a wonderful Pesach. May you share it with family and friends and may we have the zchut to have you join us here in our Holy Land next year for Pesach in a rebuilt Jerusalem, sharing the Korban Pesach (Passover Sacrifice) at our Seder in the time of the ultimate redemption.

And in the off chance that we are still in galut (exile), you should still be here.

For those of you who will be in Israel over Pesach, our family will be participating in a special program delivering Pesach goodies to the soldiers who put their lives in jeopardy every day to ensure our safety. This program is run under the auspices of STANDING TOGETHER in conjunction with FRIENDS OF THE IDF. To join us or for more information on how to support this effort, please visit www.stogether.org or email Miriam Gottlieb at info@stogether.org

Purim Comes but Twice a Year (Article #43) 3/15/2007

We had been looking forward to Purim the entire winter. As new olim, one of the real pleasures has been experiencing the various chagim Israeli style. Visiting the Kotel excavations during the three weeks. Yamim Noraim in our holy land. Succot and our first one day Yom Tov. Channuka with REAL sufganiyot, yet without Santa.

The experience of a major religious holiday in the land of the Jews is something special. Each one has its own special flavor and traditions and is an absolutely eye opening event for people like us who have grown up in a different culture.

We knew that it would be something special, especially for the kids. It was even more exciting when we considered the fact that we are so close to Yerushalayim and its Shushan Purim celebration.

Of course, with Goldie’s recent illness (and no – we still do not have a diagnosis yet and continue to test and test although Goldie is certainly up and about and able to function normally in most areas) we have been quite distracted from our “normal” lives, without much time to prepare ourselves for Purim. It felt as if it came upon us more suddenly than we had anticipated and we had tremendous feelings of guilt toward not preparing the kids for Purim as well as we could have.

A couple of years ago, one of the kids had an awesome idea for us each to dress up as a cat in the hat and be “The Katz in the Hatz.” We really enjoy that costume. Unfortunately, last year we took a break from them and the costumes are in my brother’s house in NJ – so we couldn’t use the “A” costumes.

So we dug into our bag of Purim costumes (after sixteen years of marriage and fifteen years of parenthood you have such things) and pulled out a zebra for Moshe, a policeman for Mordechai and a samurai for Aliza. Batya’s princess had finally gone to costume heaven and we had nothing for Chaya so we ran around town, eventually finding a butterfly for Batya in Ramat Beit Shemesh and having to head to Yerushalayim with Chaya for a costume – where we found a very nice clown suit.

For Mishloach Manot, we had to make a change. For the past fifteen years or so we have given the same thing to our friends (an idea stolen from the Lopin family in Chicago). Each year everyone knew to expect a pineapple and bottle of grape juice wrapped in cellophane, with additional goodies thrown in.

We had initially planned to replicate this package here in Israel. Yet, when I went to the shuk in Mahane Yehuda to pick out some pineapples, I discovered that the price for the smallest of pineapples was something near seven dollars each and the normal sized ones were no less than twelve!

You see, in Israel the fruit and vegetable availabilities are totally controlled by what is in season. The country is too small for each item to always be available, so there aren’t any strawberries or celery to be had in the summer, in the late fall they are in the stores but expensive (and in the case of celery – incredibly puny) and available in abundant supplies (and huge sizes) only at this time of the year.

Pineapple season is only just starting now, so the choices are limited and expensive. Next year, when there is a leap year, we might be able to return to pineapples.

Another difference for this year is the amount of packages we prepared. As new people in the community, we don’t have that many people we consider extremely close friends yet. So we participated in the shul Mishloach Manot (covering most of the people we felt obligated to give something to) as well as the local block Mishloach Manot.

Our block has its own Yahoo newsgroup. With two family houses on one side of the block, and multi family townhouses on the other, there are a lot of people who live in this one block. Since almost everyone is religious and friendly with each other, we have a “grab bag” program where each family is assigned one family to actually deliver a package to and that package covers everyone on the block.

So, with most of the people we know here already covered by the various group packages, we only had a couple of our closest neighbors and those few families outside of our neighborhood left on our list. It was strange to pack a dozen packages and have that be our entire delivery for the day.

Our kids more than made up for it. We had been told that the kids are much more active in giving all their friends. So we were very prepared for the onslaught of requests to give this friend and that friend. We bought them special bags and printed up individual stickers for each kid, and let them enjoy.

On Friday, we went to Chashmonaim to see my brother since he would be traveling to the US Purim night. Our real reason for going to him was the security checkpoint located five minutes from his house.

We had decided to take some of the kids packages and present them to the chayalim (soldiers) stationed at the checkpoint. Living in Beit Shemesh, where we feel removed from the most stringent security issues, we felt that it would be important for the kids to see and experience us personally showing our love and appreciation to the chayalim for all that they do.

The kids were all pumped up to go and they were fighting over who got to personally hand over each bag. The chayalim were wonderful. They posed for a picture with the kids (I wanted to print it here in the paper – but it didn’t come out) and you could see that there appreciation for our visit was sincere. They even let the kids climb up into the guard tower to present a bag to the chayal stationed there.

I think that going to the security checkpoint and sharing a few moments with the chayalim was the most meaningful part of the Purim experience in Israel for me.

Our shul had scheduled Maariv to begin ten minutes late to allow for the bringing of megillot and for the kids to put their costumes on quickly. After the megilla reading, we took the kids to the “social hall” for the shul Purim Party.

After the shul’s party, we took the kids home and I headed to Yerushalayim for a Yeshiva event in a restaurant that evening. Concerned that the teenagers would go overboard in celebrating two days of Purim, we had deliberately scheduled an event for the night of Purim to keep the guys occupied and having fun.

So we had a nice melave malka with them, followed by a Megillat Esther and general knowledge contest between the shiurim. With a special lunch at the restaurant of their choice awarded to the winner, everyone really got into the competition. The competition ended at 1 AM and I headed home.

On Purim day I spent a lot of time driving kids around from place to place dropping off their Mishloach Manot packages. There were kids everywhere we went. Partying, taking each other Mishloach Manot and just simply enjoying the day. It was great to wander around with the kids dressed up without having the rest of the world looking at us as if we were strange.

As we were driving through one of the less religious neighborhoods, we passed a Chabad Mitzvah Tank driving in the other direction with music blasting from a speaker on the roof of the vehicle. I waved my hand out the window as if dancing in rhythm with the music and as they passed us, the driver (expertly) tossed a sealed bag out his window and into mine. The kids pounced on the bag, which turned out to be a Mishloach Manot bag. Only in Israel.

We enjoyed our Purim Seuda with the Broderick family (Nesher and Chaia and kids) who made aliyah just a month after us. We were joined by Alan and Naomi Schwartz and their family (who made aliyah from the 5 Towns something like five years ago) and Darrin and Dina Shaw and their family (who made aliyah from London at around the same time we came).

Chaia had decorated the house and table with masks and with all the kids (and some of the adults) in costume; the mood was festive and fun. We had a nice time and enjoyed the chance to just relax for a few hours with no worries or pressures.

After taking everyone home, I ran back to Yerushalayim to join the Yeshiva for Shushan Purim and the Yeshiva’s Purim mesiba (party). The students put on a very funny skit (full of inside jokes) poking fun at their Rabbeim and it was a lot of fun.

The next day I took Mordechai and Batya with me to the Yeshiva for the Purim Seuda. They were excited to come and celebrate a second day of Purim. The highlight for the kids was seeing a video the students had put together lampooning (among other things) my giving a tour to a prospective student and his father. I have to admit that they did me very well.

We had to leave the Yeshiva before the Seuda ended so that I could drop the kids off and pick Goldie up. Goldie had gotten a call on Purim afternoon (our Purim) that we had been expecting for several weeks. Her sister’s mother in law had unfortunately passed away on Shabbat and the funeral was to take place the night after Shushan Purim at the Har HaMenuchot cemetery.

Although the weather for Purim had been very nice, by the time we got to Har HeMenuchot it was very windy and very cold. The eulogies were brief and conducted in the parking lot, just outside the van that the Chevra Kadisha (burial society) had used in transporting the body to the cemetery from the airport.

We drove behind the van to the section of the section where the burial was to take place, and as a Kohain I had to stay on the road with the women (and two other Kohanim) while the men proceeded to the burial. As cold as it was in the parking lot, it was freezing on the exposed side of the mountain.

After the burial, the aveilim (mourners) needed to daven Maariv and then head back to the airport. Since they weren’t sitting shiva in Israel, they were essentially free to daven anywhere and decided that rather than davening in the airport that they preferred to seize the opportunity to daven at the Kotel.

As their driver, I had the treat of fighting Shushan Purim traffic (not a pretty sight) to get to the old city and Kotel. As residents of Israel, we sometimes take certain things for granted and I think that visiting the Kotel is something we don’t do enough. I go with the Yeshiva, whenever we have a tiyul in the area. But the rest of the family really has to have an excuse to go and it had been a couple of months for Goldie.

I was happy to have a chance to say a short tefilla for Goldie after davening, and I know that Goldie felt the same for herself. There were more people than we had expected to be there, but it was Shushan Purim in Yerushalayim, so I guess that people make an extra effort once they are already there.

As we headed to the airport, we made a stop at the Beit Shemesh exit. Beit Shemesh is about 5 to 7 miles off the highway and we had originally planned to have the aveilim stop at our home for a bite to eat and a break before heading to the airport. Goldie had prepared hard boiled eggs and rolls for them, the traditional first meal for aveilim when beginning shiva.

We hadn’t counted on making a special trip to the Kotel, so time was running short. While driving through traffic, I had arranged for Josh Rudoff (aliyah from the 5 Towns two summers ago) to pick up a package of the food from our house and literally meet us at the side of the road with the food package so that we could make it to the airport on time. It was incredibly nice of him to do it.

Although it was not for good tidings, one positive thing that came out of seeing her brother in law was that he was able to personally see that Goldie is OK and can function; hopefully that report got back to her mother, who is (understandably) very concerned.

On Wednesday Goldie started her ulpan classes again. She has finished the government provided class, but wants to continue to expand her knowledge and Hebrew speaking abilities, so she signed up (and we pay) for additional ulpan classes, twice weekly.

She needed to get a ride from another student, and with her vision issues it was not an easy thing, but she came home very excited that she was able to resume some of her normal activities. Of course, everyone in ulpan made a big fuss over her being back, especially her teacher – making sure that Goldie really had a great day.

By the end of the week we had some truly terrific weather. The temperature was in the 80’s through Shabbat and we sat outside all Shabbat afternoon enjoying. When Goldie mentioned that it was expected to be in the 30’s in NY, we all had a nice laugh.