Time Out for a Recap (Article# 105) 1/29/2009

Having gone through a lot of heady topics in recent weeks—such as the war, the chareidim, the war and the chareidim (just to name a few)—I thought I would seize the opportunity of my latest overseas trip to update you on how our family is doing individually. After all, there are only so many times I can kvetch about how absolutely freezing cold it is in the USA and wonder how you can possibly deal with it.

Chaim (almost 18), who is thankfully recuperating from his bike accident, is having a terrific shanah bet (second-year) experience at Yesodei HaTorah in Moshav Zanoach, a short 15-minute walk from our home. Chaim, who did not make aliyah, decided on his own to return to yeshiva for a second year and gain additional maturity in preparation for going to YU next year.

He has become an incredibly responsible and mature young man in Israel. When we first spoke about moving, he wanted nothing to do with the idea at all and still maintains that he will most likely settle down in the U.S. However, the positive experience he has had in making friends and being accepted by the youth of our neighborhood has drawn him in to the allure of Israel, and he has begun to show a love for the country that was lacking before our aliyah.

He has even recently mentioned that, depending on who he marries, he could actually see himself living in Israel. No matter what else, his newfound love for our country is one of the greatest by-products of our coming to Israel—no matter where he ends up.

Chaya (16) has blossomed tremendously. She was always a responsible and nurturing child, and we did not realize how much greater she could be until we moved to Israel and saw the true Chaya emerge. She has become a model student and is incredibly focused on achieving her bagrut diploma (read "Regents") next year. She has surprised us all with her remarkable adaptation to the country, and it is a credit to her friends that our oldest teenage daughter has really acclimated well.

She speaks Hebrew much better than she lets on, and we are amazed that this girl, who made aliyah at age 13, has such a wide range of friends—many of them speak no English at all. She always makes the extra effort to fit in (her cell-phone screen is set to Hebrew, whereas the rest of us use English), and her efforts have paid off.

She is a sought-after babysitter and can be relied upon to step up to the plate whenever the younger children need care. She actively helps parent the younger boys (sometimes a bit too much), and our friends constantly comment how capable and warm she is. Coming on aliyah has helped her develop independence and a strong sense of confidence in her abilities, two traits she did not have in America.

Aliza (13) has always been part of a large network of friends, and her circle of friends remains a priority for her in Israel. A typical teen, she spends hours with her friends, either in person, on the phone, or on the computer. As the middle kid, she has fended for herself for quite some time and is a very self-confident person.

She was the quickest of the kids to adjust to Hebrew in school, and we were amazed when she was accepted to a middle/high school that is known for academic excellence at the end of our (very tumultuous) first year in Israel. Only four girls in her class speak English, and Aliza is committed to being able to do anything she wants (she has even expressed interest in doing military service instead of national service at the end of high school). Although she is fluent in Hebrew, English is her preferred language.

Batya (almost 10) is the best Hebrew-speaker of the bunch. She also took to Hebrew rather quickly and is an outstanding student in all disciplines. She is equally comfortable reading books in Hebrew or English and, as I had forecast long before our aliyah, Batya (and the other kids, as well) laughs at our Hebrew skills, which are certainly below hers.

Batya has begun to show tremendous dependability and responsibility as well. With Goldie joining me in the yeshiva office three days each week, it is often Batya who is called upon to pick Moshe up from preschool when we are a few minutes late. She is popular with the native Israeli kids from our block and has adjusted very well.

Mordechai (almost 8) is Israeli. He is clearly more comfortable reading Hebrew than he is reading English and is simply "another one of the boys" in school. He speaks Hebrew quite well and it is his homework (second grade!) that gives us the most fits. All this after being the kid with the most difficult transition period (in his own words, hearing Hebrew made him want to "throw up"). In fact, we often switch to Hebrew when trying to explain something he doesn't understand, since he is able to process Hebrew more easily than English.

Mordechai is a talented athlete and is a popular kid in his class. He remembers very little of his life before Israel. Interestingly, although he is quite familiar with the names of the days and months in the Hebrew calendar, he has no idea what the names of the English months are or where they fall during the year.

Moshe (who turns 4 this week—while I am in America!) is of course our baby and is therefore the one child whom everyone in the house is happy to spoil. His Hebrew is flawless and he only recently began to consciously understand that there are actually two different languages being spoken. In an effort to keep him ahead of the curve in English-language skills, we have begun to teach him the ABC's, yet we understand that he will probably not have the best English language skills.

When we embarked on our aliyah, one of the most frequent comments we heard was that it was suicidal to contemplate making aliyah with older children. We were told story after story about disastrous adjustments and kids who never recovered, and it was something we were quite concerned about.

There is no question that things could have gone awry for our children in a myriad of ways. Yet somehow we managed to keep things together for them.

We approached the whole process with open minds and a focus on doing what would best help the kids grow and develop. We definitely acknowledge the fact that their successful acclimation to Israel was a heavenly gift to us, and that without such assistance, our kids could have certainly fared much worse.

We are living proof (so far, at least) that you can make aliyah and that if you work hard and have a certain amount of faith, this can work for you, too.