Keeping Busy (Article# 71) 1/24/08

First off, I want to wish a Mazal Tov to Nachi, Larry and Esta Gordon on Nachi’s Bar Mitzva. I have said it before; joining friends at the Kotel for the celebration of such a simcha is truly a treat. I know that Larry wrote about his trip to Sderot and am sure this week’s edition will have much more about his trip, but one thing really stuck out to me.

I was chatting with Larry at the Seudah after davening, which was held in a simcha hall overlooking the Kotel plaza. As we were talking, I glanced out the window and noticed a troop of Chayalim (soldiers) walking by. I pointed them out to Larry and said, “Now there is something you don’t see in Cedarhurst!”

Larry turned to me and said, “I should bring them something to eat” – grabbed Nachi and a tray of muffins and went out the front door to share a bit of his simcha with some passing strangers. What a lesson to teach your son on the day he becomes a Bar Mitzva!

It seems as if I have been on an every other week schedule the last few weeks. I think part of it may be that our continual adjustment to life here makes for boring reading. We run our daily routine, kids go to school and “coast” through the week – if that is ever possible.

Yes, we are busy – but boring busy. Of course, then there are weeks when it seems that there aren’t enough keys on the keyboard to type all I have to share.

Our niece Tova visited us (ok – really the country) for her winter break. She had been here on a second year at Shaalvim for girls when we arrived and was at our house often as we settled in. So it was nice to have her “home” again. I know she loves being here and hopes one day to live here.

Since it was winter break season, the Yeshiva was enjoying a “recharge” visit from over 30 of our alumni. The winter visits are a highlight of the year and I had the opportunity to share another highlight with them – my monthly pizza run to the military checkpoints.

It was a freezing night (quite a few hot water heating solar panels had burst pipes that night in Bet Shemesh – not a place usually known for its’ cold climate). The excitement the Chayalim displayed when we showed up was invigorating, especially when they heard that the students with me had taken a night from their personal vacation to stop by and say thanks.

That night I also lost my cellphone and all the phone numbers stored in my contact list. How frustrating. Larry Gordon was trying to coordinate my joining his family at Sderot, and I didn’t realize the phone was gone and I missed the trip. Very disappointing.

I spoke two days later at the Nefesh Bnefesh (NBN) one year anniversary dinner for Olim (immigrants) who made Aliyah in 2006. I got a call two days before the dinner from Dudy Stark, who handles their PR and was arranging the program. I know Dudy from Chicago and I have repeatedly told him that I would be glad to do anything for NBN.

There were two Olim on the program and I spoke first. I had about 10 minutes to synopsize everything you have read in 20 months. It is always overwhelming to reflect and realize just how much we have gone through in the 18 months we are here.

While I understand that our experiences were a little more trying than the average Oleh, I also know several families who have, unfortunately had it worse than us. Yet, I reminded everyone that no matter what the challenges we all faced, when they were happening, each and every person felt as if they were as difficult as can be and that each person in the room deserved recognition for facing their own personal challenges. There are some families who did not make the one year milestone and we have to be grateful that we did.

Sometime during the week, the houses across the street from us got their initial certificate of occupancy and on Friday, Mark and Yosefa Kraus (formerly of Woodmere) finally moved into their home (even though they did not have electricity). Several of the neighbors have moved in and it is nice to no longer live on an island.

Although………

Our OTHER neighbors are getting noisy again. Our rock throwing, woman beating (when she wouldn’t move to the back of the bus), “SHABBIIIIIIIIS” yelling brethren from across the street. I know I am supposed to love all Jews, but they make it really hard.

One of our new neighbors, Rachel and Dennis Lisbon, moved in about 6 weeks ago. We have gotten friendly and Goldie speaks with Rachel almost daily. Their windows face the apartments across the street that are the beginning of Ramat Beit Shemesh Bet (RBSB) – yeah the apartments where the guys who put the boulders in the street on Friday afternoon to stop traffic and endanger lives on Shabbat, live.

They have actually given up on that. After the third time I picked up the boulders and heaved them over the fence into a valley, they stopped bothering to try getting them out onto the street. Small victories.

Although there haven’t been any major violent incidents since the Chareidim slapped around the woman who wouldn’t move to the “women’s section” of a public bus – the tensions in the neighborhood are clearly evident.

Yes, Mordechai’s school campus had dead fish dumped in the classroom trailers over the Channuka break in protest of his school being in a location that the Chareidim want for their schools. I do not call that “violent.”

Anyway, the Lisbons windows face these buildings, but they are so far away that it is difficult to see from one to the next unless you are trying hard. With binoculars.

Within a week of their moving in, they got a very nice letter left in their mailbox. In it, one of their across the street neighbors told them that it is assur (forbidden) to have a TV and asked that for the sake of the children who can see the TV from across the street and have it contaminate them that the Lisbons should please get rid of the TV.

The letter was followed by a personal visit. And another letter.

On Saturday night, I was dropping my niece at the airport when I got a call about an emergency meeting with the Deputy Mayor (a frum guy from our neighborhood) about safety in the neighborhood and specifically on our street. It seems that the Lisbons got another letter from their pen pal.

In it, the same plea was made for them to please get rid of their TV. However, at the end of the letter there was something new. The letter closed by saying, “we won’t be responsible for anything that happens to you or your belongings if you do not heed this warning.” I guess that is the Chareidi way of saying welcome to the neighborhood.

I don’t think that these people are the majority. I understand that they are a very vocal and violent minority. The majority of the Chareidim in RBSB are probably wonderful people simply looking (like you and me) to make a nice life for themselves and their families. Yet I maintain that they need reign in their peers.

So we had a meeting with the Deputy Mayor. We will have another meeting in our house this week – open to the public. And we will unfortunately have to band together as a group to take steps to try to halt the threats and the violence.

As with any crisis/confrontation, there are people who are trying to make inroads in stopping the violence. On both sides.

One of them is a Chassid by the name of Tuvya Stern who was been working to stop the violence. He was denounced and threatened by them as well. Sadly, earlier this week he was ambushed by them and beaten so severely as a reward for his efforts that he had to be taken to the hospital.

He was released and will certainly recover. Yet the disgusting manner in which these “people” act towards their own neighbors is appalling. Even worse is the fact that almost no one in his community will stand up for him.

His friends called for a protest against the violence. They put out handbills publicizing the demonstration in which they said that people need to take a stand so that they can say “Our hands did not spill this blood.” Calls were made to the papers (who did not show) and loudspeakers blared the details of the protest from the roofs of roving cars.

I got a call from one of the other guys on our committee that the Deputy Mayor wanted us to join in the protest demonstration and show our solidarity with the Chareidim who were involved in the protest. We thought it was a good idea, as did apparently ten to twelve of our neighbors.

What a disappointment. If our group was ten to twelve people, I would guess that there were no more than twenty five Chareidim who bothered to show up. That’s it. Their friend got beat up by a bunch of jerks and they couldn’t show up to support him.

Apparently they are afraid. Supposedly Tuvya’s direct neighbors wanted to come but didn’t because they themselves were too afraid of being put on the “hit list.” More passing cars slowed down so that the drivers could see who was attending the demonstration than there were people at the protest.

I mentioned to my friends that this sad excuse for support for a fellow Jew was only going to embolden the hoodlums. After all, the turnout clearly showed who is in charge in the community AND how much they are feared. Sad.

Two ironical things were pointed out to me at the protest.

First, someone pointed to an apartment right in the middle of RBSB and said, “look there – somebody has a TV!” And he was right. I wonder why that guy doesn’t get hate mail.

Secondly, the Chief of Police personally attended (I got to meet him). Ironically, this man (who I don’t think is religious) who was publicly called a Nazi by these same Chareidim just a few weeks ago could only ask why there needed to be a demonstration at all? Why can’t we all just sit down and talk things out, he asked.

If only it was so easy.

Instead, I had to sit my kids down and warn them against talking to any Chareidim without an adult present. I had to tell them to run away, and when my six year old asked why I had to tell him that we aren’t sure but that some of them might be trying to hurt him. So he should run away and find an adult.

This is what I needed to teach him this week? We had to have an entire discussion about potential violence since these people have demonstrated that they are crazy and will do anything. Even to a six year old.

The one thing that I miss from America (or anywhere outside of Israel) is the shared sense of being different that all Jews share. No matter the level of your observance, in America you are still different from the gentiles and that makes for a certain level of tolerance for one another that we do not have here. Instead, we have an incredible level of hatred for each other.

If we cannot get along with each other, is it a wonder that we cannot deal with the world and face our enemies squarely and decisively?