Welcome Tourists (Article #65) 11/22/2007

With the approach of the American holidays, we had been anticipating visits from several of our friends and relatives. The week began with a visit from our friend Bina Zaiman from Far Rockaway. Her husband Eric had visited Israel a year ago for a family simcha and this was Bina’s turn.

I didn’t actually get to see her, but Goldie, Naomi Schwartz and Ranana Wolf (all current Beit Shemeshites and former Far Rockawayans) got together with her for brunch and had a nice time visiting with her.

It is strange to think about in retrospect. All of these women grew up in the same neighborhood and were often part of the same youth groups and activities together. Now, with the exception of the Zaiman’s we are all here in Beit Shemesh.

On Monday night we went to Ramat Gan to take my sister out for her birthday. With all the craziness in our lives, we hadn’t gotten together (socially) with her and her husband for quite some time and it was nice to spend time with them.

We actually got there much earlier than they had expected. The following Sunday my nephew was scheduled to enter the army, enlisting into an elite combat unit. We have no idea what the protocol is when a relative enters the army, but Goldie wanted to give him a gift before he went in that would show that we support him and are thinking of him.

I had asked several of the people at the Yeshiva when one of the Madrichim (dorm counselors) mentioned that the first thing he bought himself on his first leave was a pocketknife. So we got him a pocketknife, wrote him a nice note to go with it and got to their house early to give it to him.

It wasn’t that big of a deal to us either way, and he was in a rush so we didn’t really have a chance to speak with him, but apparently we did the right thing. He called me the next day to thank us and made a specific point of mentioning how surprised he was that we would know i) that a gift is appropriate if you are so motivated and ii) that a pocketknife is a great gift. I told him that Goldie has great instincts.

On Thursday the whole family (except Chaim who was learning in Yeshiva) were treated to a visit from our friends and former neighbors in Woodmere, Gabe and Anat Levi and their kids, who are also here for a family simcha. They had arranged to meet us in Yerushalayim’s Malcha mall, literally a couple hours after they landed.

As expected, the kids took about half an hour to warm up to each other again, but they enjoyed renewing acquaintances. We had dinner with them in the food court, and we enjoyed their delight in being able to eat at almost every restaurant in the mall. Each kid got to choose what he wanted from the restaurant he wanted and we sat together enjoying each other’s company for a couple of hours. We don’t do it often enough.

We had been looking forward to last Shabbat for a couple of weeks. Although our Yeshiva has an “in Shabbat” every three to four weeks, a couple of times each year we take the entire Yeshiva out for Shabbat. Last year I had missed both Shabbatonim, once on a trip to America for work and the other time while Goldie was being treated in NY.

As a family, we had not really “gotten away” together for more than a day trip since last Channuka, when we spent a few days at the Dead Sea. Although we had had a tumultuous few months, with all the pressures of getting back to health, dealing with the many facets of life that we had fallen so behind in and catching up with all the accumulated work – we have felt it impossible to take off any more time than was necessary to deal with Goldie’s treatment.

When this Shabbaton, to be held at a hotel in Zichron Yaakov, was scheduled, I asked Goldie if she wanted to come along with all the kids and she was enthusiastic about the opportunity. The kids were also tremendously upbeat about going and so on Friday afternoon we skipped little league practice to head north to Zichron Yaakov.

We had a very nice time. Parts of my responsibilities include directing the alumni activities of the Yeshiva and it makes my life so much easier when I have a personal bond with the alumni before they leave the Yeshiva. I try to go on all the tiyulim (field trips) and be with the guys as much as possible, but there can be no replacement for the bonds we forge during informal times, especially when they have the opportunity to also interact with my family and see that I am just another regular guy.

My younger kids had 70 older brothers to play with during the meals and were honored and enthralled by all the attention. The older kids were amused in watching the younger kids ham it up for the students and when one of them asked Chaim to sit at a students table for lunch, he quickly accepted and made himself at home.

The program engaged my kids and the walking tour of Zichron Yaakov that I took with Aliza was a chance to give her some special time of her own (as the middle child who is very self sufficient she is often ignored in favor of her more high maintenance siblings). As we drove home on Saturday night, the entire family agreed that they had a wonderful time and cannot wait to repeat the experience.

Oh yeah – and Goldie had a week off of cooking and preparing.

As we drove home I also talked my way out of a traffic ticket. I have found that the “stupid American who doesn’t speak Hebrew well” act is not very effective when dealing with the average Israeli. When I am asked if I prefer to speak in English I reply that I am an Israeli and Israelis speak Hebrew. I have found that displaying an attitude of trying hard to fit in and not ask for special accommodations is very disarming to Israelis, since they cannot personally conceive of how anyone would voluntarily leave their birth country and come to live in a place that they feel is a very tough place to survive in.

When faced with someone who is visibly trying hard to fit in, most Israelis are impressed and disarmed and react with a visceral paternal/maternal instinct to protect and assist us. It is fascinating how a small gesture like trying to speak Hebrew can be disarming to the people of such a macho and aggressive country.

The fact that much of the country are also either immigrants or the children/grandchildren of immigrants and understand what immigrants go through to make things work here also helps.