Getting Back On Track (Article #49) 7/12/2007

It has been a while, hasn’t it? With our doctors appointments and the shortened week last week because of the holiday (at least for you in the USA), I have not really had the opportunity to sit down and write. So much has happened so quickly that it is amazing to me that it has only been five weeks since we came back to Israel.

Out first couple of weeks back were totally taken up with seeing our doctors and conducting even MORE tests to see if anyone could diagnose the reason for Goldie’s continuing eye issues. We really did not do much in the manner of experiences since we were still focused on adjusting (back) to our Israeli lives and getting back on track.

And life goes on whether we are ready for it or not, so we continue to move forward. Goldie had really tried hard to have things set up properly for the kids so that our absence would not ruin their summer. So we had them all signed up for their various programs and we had to start getting the first two (Chaim and Aliza) departees ready for summer camp.

That meant getting them labeled and packed and (this one is the most important) keeping their suitcases under the weight limit for the plane. Goldie had of course considered this even before we moved, leaving certain things at her parents house to be added to duffle bags once in NY. So we really had a good plan going in to make sure they had all that they needed.

I am not sure that we will continue sending the kids for the summer to the USA. There are definitely distinct advantages to it. Firstly, there are very few (if any) full summer programs here, leaving a whole bunch of bored teens with nothing but time on their hands. This is not a recipe for success.

Secondly, they have maintained a lot of their friendships in the USA and we think it is important for them to continue these friendships and renewing the bonds with their friends.

It also helps that both sets of grandparents and a lot of extended family lives in the US. I don’t think they will actually see many of them this year, mostly because our “other” issues have so occupied us that we had no time to plan any visits other than in NY which is their arrival and departure point. The NY relatives though, did get to see them (and they even had the chance to attend a family wedding in NY as well – Mazal Tov to Michael and Irina).

Finally, we think it is important for them to be comfortable in the US. English is a priority for us and we want to make sure that they will truly be prepared for whatever challenges they may face as they get older. So we want them to be comfortable in the US and in dealing with the society there.

Finally, the kids needed a break. Imagine being sixteen, fourteen or eleven and having to deal with the stress of knowing your mother has cancer and that your parents had to drop everything to deal with it. No matter how well they (and my parents) dealt with it, I am sure that it was tough for them and the break will be good for them.

We also had to finalize some details for schooling for next year. Bus contracts. Registrations.

Chaim is registered nowhere. He officially finished his GMAX program, took the GED and will have the equivalent of a High School diploma. However, since he is still sixteen, we want him to wait just a bit before he enters college. We therefore decided to enroll him in a Yeshiva program that allows him to get college credits (he plans on attending Yeshiva University) while he is there.

Unfortunately, we were away dealing with some other issues after Pesach and didn’t have the opportunity to investigate the options. So we are going to have to deal with it as soon as he arrives back from the USA.

In a prior time of our lives doing things at such a last minute would be unacceptable. Here it is the norm. Everything seems to be arranged at the last minute and people are constantly asking us why we want things done so early. Our response is… Hey – we are Americans.

With the exception of Goldie’s inability to drive and run errands, we really began to settle into a (new) routine. The kids had gotten over our fascination with our being home and we asked the neighbors to stop dropping meals off (the entire Bet Shemesh area was unbelievably supportive when it came to meals and helping out) so that she could do things herself and things settled in.

In our third week home, it was time to run yet again to the airport, this time to take Chaim and Aliza to their flight. It was tough to say goodbye to them. We had been away for six weeks, together again for only three and it was time for them to leave us for almost ten. From April 15 to August 28 we would only have three weeks with them.

We were a little nervous about the departure. We were especially concerned with Chaim and his non Israeli status traveling with his sister who is Israeli and also underage to travel alone. Thankfully, everything went without an incident except for Aliza’s complaint that the flight was boring. We get to do this again with Chaya in a few weeks, hooray.

After they left we got ready for another exciting event, the opening of the Israeli professional baseball league. Although we did not go to the league’s opening game, we went to the home opener for the Bet Shemesh Blue Sox and boy did we have fun.

Goldie saw two of every pitch (so at least one of them was bound to be a strike, right?) and the kids (we took Batya and Mordechai) had no clue what was going on, but the spirit of the crowd and the general atmosphere was awesome. Hatikva before the first pitch. We didn’t have to worry about finding the “kosher” concession. There was even a minyan for Mincha announced over the PA in the 5th inning and it was really cool to be there.

As opposed to the USA, our $10 seats (bought for $7) put us in the first and second rows, right behind home plate. The players all made themselves available to talk to the fans after the game and really made the experience a positive one for the little kids.

There is also a sense of Israeli surrealism too. The “official” baseballs got caught up in Meches (customs) and weren’t available for the first few games, so they had to run out and buy a whole bunch of baseballs. We have season tickets, but instead of having them all in our hands before the season, we just ask for them at the ticket booth when we (or our guests) arrive for that day’s game. Most annoyingly, the schedule is constantly changed, so we have to check the website for updates on when/where/if games are being played.

I actually had a nostalgic touch of the “old country” from my youth when the game was shortened an inning due to darkness. It seems that the lights don’t shine into the outfield (most night games are with little leaguers who don’t hit that far) and they had to reschedule the starting time of games to accommodate for this. Of course, Bet Shemesh won (they are currently 10-1 and in first place) in a tight game and we look forward to going to many more games.

Actually, I did go to a second game later in that week. I took Chaya and a couple of her friends to a game one night. Chaya (who is not a baseball fan) and her friends (who are) had such a great time. The crowd is less than 1,000 which makes for a more intimate setting and allows the kids to really have a lot of fun.

Our kids finished their school year. Mordechai’s “graduation” was Yerushalayim themed and really had a message for the kids. Originally, the invitation said “Mothers Only”. However, Mordechai told the teachers he thought that it wasn’t fair and another boy also complained and they changed their minds. So I got to go too.

It was short – only slightly over an hour (some preschool graduations here run 2 hours+) and we enjoyed it immensely. The other kids also had various end of the year parties and events. Thankfully, most of them were “kids only”.

We hosted Jessica Adelsberg and her friend Karen Abromowitz (who are here volunteering for the summer in a foster care summer camp) last Shabbat. Jessica lived across the street from us in Woodmere and apparently reported back to her parents (Howard and Robin Adelsberg) about the Shabbat and how Israeli Mordechai is. Amazing when you remember that as late as mid November he told us that “Whenever I hear Hebrew I get nauseous.”

Then, about 2 weeks ago we had another significant development. Finally throwing their hands up in frustration at identifying the cause for Goldie’s double vision, the doctors recommended that we get corrective lenses to help. Goldie had been fitted for the glasses and we finally got them.

What a difference. Although she still had the medical problem, the lenses almost completely correct the double vision. She can drive (this is actually a huge development) and run errands like a normal person. This in turn freed me from a lot of the added responsibilities and allows me to devote more of my time to the portion of my work that I had neglected during the period of her illness.

I take the train again. I am sure I have written about how much I love the relaxation the train gives me. I work on the train and it is normally the time I take to write the article each week (another reason that they have been so sporadic).

We have been able to start going out again. We attended a wedding and a Bar Mitzva (both from my side of the family) and Goldie was able to stay awhile without the disorientation that had plagued her in open places.

We passed our one year anniversary as Israelis. Although we aren’t in a celebratory mood, I wanted to mark the occasion (and hope to do so in a bigger way in the future once we are readjusted and totally on track). So I bought some rugelach for the Talmidim in the Yeshiva and had a small celebration with them.

Getting her back to herself has allowed us to regain a semblance of “normal” life. Although we still have certain issues (such as rebuilding Goldie’s stamina – she tires very easily) and physical hurdles to overcome, we keep getting closer and closer.

That’s not to say that everything is terrific. This has been a trying time for us and I for one have not recovered from the emotional strain. I know that I am having issues in dealing with my continuing concern of Goldie and the kids. It is definitely hard to be cheerful and maintain a positive outlook.

We had a problem with a car we had planned to buy. We had been working on getting it since before Pesach. Apparently, the sellers weren’t aware that even if I was an oleh with tax exemptions, that they would still have to pay the taxes on the vehicle since they had left the country before their own tax exemptions had “vested”. So now we have to go direct to the dealer and pay a little more for a car.

There was actually a night or two when we really felt that the world was still crashing down on us that I know I thought about throwing in the towel. But that time passed and we are still cautiously optimistic. I say cautiously only because of the trials we have faced these past few months and the effect it has had on us. Optimistic because when all is said and done we are still here and making it work.