Cholim Chadashim (Article #38) 2/1/2007

I have written several times about how we are constantly getting sick here. One of the theories is that as new immigrants, we have not been exposed to the viruses that are common in Israel and therefore have little or no immunities developed for the normal Israeli bugs. In fact, this phenomenon is so common here that my sister in law called me to tell me the name they give to families like us which is (if you haven't figured it out from the title of this article) ”cholim chadashim” (new sick people) instead of ”olim chadashim” (new immigrants).

I have finally also been hit by the bugs. Over the last few weeks I have had a nagging sore throat and it has really worn me down. So in answer to the many, “WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ALIYAH CHRONICLES” emails I got, I wasn't feeling well.

Over the last few months, as we have settled in to our new lives, we have faced many challenges and obstacles. Some of them have been more difficult to deal with than others and may still not be solved. Many of them seemed to trivial or too critical to be detailed in these pages or may not have made “the cut” on weeks when I had other things to write about that seemed more important.
However, we reached a crucial point in our Aliyah last week. On Wednesday afternoon, Goldie was talking with my parents and she admitted that she had nothing to do. She was all caught up in school work (ulpan), regular work, housework, meals and everything else on her busy schedule. This is the first time since we arrived that she has felt this way and is another sign that we are finally settling into a routine.

That isn't to say that it was an idyllic week. We had sewage backing up from the second floor plumbing pipes and are still dealing with an ongoing moisture/mold problem on the main floor. We have leaks in the roof (which would be worse if we were getting rain – the lack of which is reaching severe proportions here) and several other unfinished items in the house. Yet, we are still hopeful that the landlord will eventually get on board and take care of these items in a responsible manner.

With different coughs and colds and viruses, the health issues are also nagging irritants, causing (Goldie primarily) missed ulpan and/or work hours that need to be made up.

There are other concerns, such as where to put the kids in school next year (although we did settle a couple of issues here as well in the last two weeks). We are trying to balance the kids desires to go to summer camp in America to see there friends with our desires to actually have money to pay for all those round trip tickets. Of course, for the adults Hebrew is still a primary issue, with Goldie surpassing me in understanding Hebrew (she goes to a weekly shiur conducted in Hebrew and listens to the news all the time) but me being the better communicator (can’t understand the news but can have a conversation with anyone).

Yet overall, we seem to have finally hit our stride. I could bore you with details after details about the kids’ successes. Chaim is happy in school and has accepted his new social setting. Chaya is doing better in school than we ever thought possible. Aliza is deciding if she wants to go to school closer to home or one of the better academically acclaimed religious schools in Yerushalayim (Chorev). Batya gets angry when she can’t finish her homework and is extremely conscientious about it – and has dramatically caught up to her class in math skills in recent weeks. Mordechai speaks Hebrew AT HOME to us OFTEN and rushes to be the first kid in his Gan several times a week in his eagerness to be there. Moshe is of course Moshe, almost 2 years old and wondering why we get so excited when he intersperses Hebrew in his English since he does not yet recognize that they are different languages, just different words.

But why bother. You have undoubtedly read about their struggles and successes in past weeks and do not need a lengthy recap.

We have found a flow to life here and when Goldie’s ulpan schedule eases up further at the end of this term, might actually have more than a moment or two of breathing room in which to relax and reflect (although writing the chronicles has been excellent for reflection).

This should make for more boring articles, since we will face fewer and fewer crisis as time goes on. Yet this is as it should be. No one can live a frenetically paced life like we had been over an extended period of time. In fact, I am sure that the stress of daily living is a major contributing factor to the “cholim chadashim” syndrome.

We had more “we missed you moments” as well. Goldie’s father had a “routine” medical procedure done. She was assured that it was routine and that she did not need to come in special to be there. Yet, there were some complications with an infection and for a week’s time she was especially anxious to not having gone and having to rely on second hand reports on what was going on as well as the guilt at not being there to support her parents and help care for her father. He is (thankfully) recovering well and we expect no further issues, yet it is incredibly difficult to handle items like these from so far away. Especially if you start second guessing your travel decisions and wondering if you really should have flown in for a week.

Aliza had her premier in a major dramatic production. After months of practice, she will be in seven performances of “We’ve got Annie” (loosely based on the Broadway hit Annie!) and will eventually have performed for 7,000+ people. Although it is a women’s only production, I have heard great reviews and we are very proud of all her dedication and hard work in not only getting to every rehearsal and practice but in maintaining her schoolwork and other activities at the same time.

Both grandmothers sent her lovely bouquets and congratulatory notes on opening night. She was thrilled to get them as well as other gifts from her family and friends (more flowers and a mug filled with treats). Yet, we know that she would have gladly done without the gifts if it meant that her grandmothers would have been there, and we have to add it to the list of missed events. (OK – so they are making a DVD of the show, but it still isn’t the same).

We made a decision on Mordechai’s schooling (finally). After thinking about it long and hard, we just saw little warmth in the school that we send the girls to and decided to send him to another school closer to our house – Orot Banim. He is currently in their gan (preschool) and we are thrilled with his development there and the warmth and caring they displayed in dealing with his transition to a foreign country and a foreign language at age 5.

We have also made a (90% certain) decision to move Batya to the girls division of Orot. She has very few school friends who live in our area (1) and is constantly frustrated (as are we) by the nonsensical, unfeeling way that they approach the enforcement of their dress code and other rules. We were overwhelmed with how approachable and warm the staff of the (new) girl’s school was when we visited it and have heard many of our neighbors singing its praises.

That is not to say that we are disappointed with Batya’s school experience now. She has certainly learned a tremendous amount and having ulpan in her school building made it very easy for her to integrate ulpan with the rest of her schedule. The other schools all had to bus their kids to Batya’s school for ulpan, wreaking havoc upon their academic schedules and programs. Yet, moving forward we feel that this is probably the best choice for us.

A note on the switch. Both schools are religious schools and in truth we thought we would identify with the more Charedi school when we first arrived since they reminded us more of the schools our children attended when we were in the USA. However, we can definitely see that a new principle (brought into the school last year) has determined to make the school much more charedi (in parent body) than it had been in the past and we feel that their current goals no longer match our ideals. It is a shame since that school had been recognized as an excellent choice for American Olim in our neighborhood and they clearly no longer want us.

The contrast is so clear with some of the other schools. Chaya (who was always a disinterested student at best) has found a peer group and support system which is incredibly nurturing. The school has gone out of its way to tailor a special academic program for her, exempting her from certain electives so that she can focus on her core HS diploma requirements. They have gone all out to make her successful and her classmates have been terrific. For example, last week, Leah Fingerer (daughter of Suri and Elozar) spent hours with Chaya preparing her for a Navi test that she would never have been able to get through on her own, infusing Chaya with a sense of confidence that she had the capability to deal with school and home work.

I think this sense of pulling together is very strong in Beit Shemesh. Many of our neighbors (a significant majority) are olim and understand the issues we face. They remember how it was for them when they arrived and are incredibly supportive and sympathetic.

We ourselves had Shabbat guests for dinner this past week who were on a pilot trip from Canada. They will be coming to Israel this summer or fall and it was a no brainer that we would happily host them for a meal when we got the call. It was our treat to finally pay forward the kindness that all the strangers (now our friends and neighbors) showed us when we arrived here.