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FROM WOODMERE TO
Goldie and I traveled to Israel last week. I had to meet with my (prospective) new employers and finalize the details of my job. We had to register the kids for school. But, what really occupied the focus of this trip was our need to find a home in Beit Shemesh.
The excitement level in our household is heightening. The kids (well, at least the younger five) are all excited about our upcoming move. We are certainly nervous and scared about the thought of uprooting ourselves and making such a major change, but right now we all seem to be looking forward rather than backward.
We have heard that the rental market in Beit Shemesh is extremely tight, and we may have trouble finding a house to rent. We have decided to rent rather than buy so that we could be certain that Beit Shemesh (as opposed to Ramat Beit Shemesh or Efrat or Modiin or Chashmonaim or any other community) is the place we want to commit to long term. We will rent for at least a year and only buy a house once we are comfortable that we have made the right choice.
I am a little nervous about renting a car this trip. I have no problems with buses and taxis (safetywise), but am concerned that I may make a wrong turn or something and end up in a place I definitely want to avoid. Also, the last time I rented a car in Israel (13 years ago) I got a parking ticket because I didn’t understand the signs. It was OK though, because I didn’t understand the ticket either – so I just crumpled it up and threw it out the window.
Here are some of our thoughts and feelings as we experienced them on the trip.
TUESDAY NIGHT
Some quick thoughts from 35,000 feet. EL AL flight security seems to be much tighter than Continental’s. We came to the airport expecting the whole interrogation (even looking forward to it in some ways).
You know the questions…. Who packed your luggage? Did you get any gifts from people you did not know? Was your luggage in your possession the whole time since you finished packing? For what purpose are you traveling to Israel?
The Continental staff was mostly courteous and helpful – but it felt like we were going to Milwaukee, not Israel. ‘Till we got to the plane.
We could open a Gan on this flight. The plane is totally full and half the adults seem to have kids in their laps without buying seats for them (we have our 14 month old Moshe ourselves). Thankfully, Moshe fell asleep 10 minutes before takeoff and has been sleeping well for the first two hours or so (in the end he slept until about 2 hours before landing).
All the mothers will relate to this. We were about to board when Goldie turned to me and said, “Let’s go home. I miss the kids too much.”
We chose Continental for this trip because we ended up saving $400. It might not be worth it. If I offered you $400 to sit in traffic and shlep to Jersey with all your bags and a screaming 1 year old, you might accept the offer. Once.
WEDNESDAY MORNING
Pre-Shachris I spent an hour talking with a fellow former Chicagoan who is now living in Ramat Beit Shemesh about the benefits of traveling via El Al or Continental. I will be traveling for work (hopefully) and need to figure out which mileage program and upgrades are the best. According to the people I’ve spoken with, El AL upgrades more and gives faster rewards, but has no US domestic service, so you cannot be upgraded w/in the US on domestic flights.
All in all an average flight. Which is pretty good considering that there was not a single empty seat in the plane.
I kind of miss the old Ben Gurion. I miss that daredevil drive from the airplane to the passport control center you would take on the bus after walking down the stairs to the tarmac. There was always one set of seniors who would stake out a position at the front door to make sure they got a “good” spot in line so they could hurry up to wait for their bags. They of course ended up losing their bags (and sometimes their balance) as the bus would go flying in all directions so the driver could beat a fuel truck for the right-of-way at the next interchange.
This new airport is boring. With a lot of walking. The rent a car guy was waiting for us as we exited the terminal and walked us over to the car in the short term parking lot. He then proceeded to pull our rental papers out of his fanny pack, processed everything on the hood of the car, gave us the keys and drove off. They might not have a rental counter – but the rates were great!
We are spending the night by my sister’s home in Tel Hashomer (yes- near the hospital). She came to Israel on Bnei Akiva’s Hachsharah program after 12th grade, and essentially never returned. My brother in law owns and runs his own business as an auto parts/auto paint equipment and supplies distributor. He is an Israeli (Sefardi even, of Tunisian descent) and has 11 brothers and sisters.
My sister had no close relatives of her own in Israel until my brother’s family made Aliyah to Chashmonaim in the summer of 2000. I am closer to her than my other siblings, although I believe I have a special relationship with each one in their own way. I think this move of ours will impact her more than any other member of my family, because we will see each other more.
THURSDAY
Apparently, this is one of the worst weeks for allergy sufferers to visit Israel. I woke up feeling awful, and need to take 3 Advils and an anti histamine pill in order to get moving in the morning. My throat is killing me and I feel like I have the flu.
After a very brief overnight visit with my sister we were off to Beit Shemesh for a 8:30 AM appointment to see a prospective house in the Nofei Aviv section of Beit Shemesh.
Why Beit Shemesh? Goldie is concerned that her Hebrew skills are not the best, and she wanted to be in what they call an “Anglo” (English speaking) community. We know quite a few people who have made Aliyah to Beit Shemesh over the years, and we felt that this city would be a place where we could have a “soft landing” of the family; a place where the kids and Goldie could make friends easily and have support networks in place quickly.
Toward that end, I took a day in January (my nephew’s bar mitzvah in Netanya) to visit the schools in Beit Shemesh and see which were the ones we would prefer for our children.
Of course, we are not the only Olim with similar needs, and the Beit Shemesh area is very tight regarding rental properties. Within Beit Shemesh there are 3 main neighborhoods the Anglo’s have settled in. The Nofei Aviv area, the Sheinfeld area and more recently the Givat Savion area. These are all tight knit communities with broad welcoming and support organizations. We were prepared to settle into either Sheinfeld or Aviv, but after months of discussion with various real estate agents, we had found very little in the way of rentals.
We know that many of our contemporaries will be making their move to the Ramat Beit Shemesh area. Ramat Beit Shemesh is really 2 communities about a 5 minute drive (uphill) from the main “anglo” Beit Shemesh communities. However, we are not really considering Ramat Beit Shemesh at this time because we have heard that it is essentially a Charedi neighborhood, and that people like us who have televisions and don’t have their daughters wearing stockings through the hot summer might not be comfortable there.
We are excited to have the opportunity to see this particular home. It has just come on the market after changing ownership; with the new owners looking to make Aliyah sometime in the future, we have a chance to swoop in and get a nice rental in the area we want to live. Additionally, this house is not a duplex and has additional yardspace – providing even more room for the family.
However, our excitement quickly dissipates once we actually see the house. We hear the agents telling us how spacious the house is and how much room there is on the grounds because it is a stand alone villa. We walk through the house and try to mentally imagine where our furniture and belongings will go. But it just won’t work.
The house is tiny by our standards. Slightly under 2,000 square feet in living space. Five teeny bedrooms upstairs. A combined living/dining room. A “sealed room” that either doubles as a bedroom or family room. A kitchen that has a laundry room right off it, with no room for a kitchen table. That’s it. No basement or play room. No closets. Storage? Go buy a shed and put it out in the lawn.
Now, there are many people who are quite comfortable living in these homes. In no way do I mean to insult or belittle them, but I cannot imagine how they do it. I guess that some of them have fewer children living at home. Others may have adjusted to the smaller home size before their families expanded to our size. Yet others may simply have made the mental commitment that they will adapt to the circumstances and figure out a way to make these smaller living spaces work. Which is great for them.
I guess we are spoiled. We really had a certain standard that we expected to live within, and these homes simply do not satisfy that standard.
It isn’t like we are living in a mansion here on Long Island. We have an average sized 4 bedroom home, with a guest room in the basement. We have made minimal changes to the house since we bought it, essentially just periodic painting and the replacement of things when they break. Like many other people in the neighborhood, the house has probably more than doubled in value since we bought it, and there is no way we could afford to live here if we had to buy a home today. But we think we have a nice house with room for our kids to grow and play.
So we decide to go see some other homes in the area; surely there must be other homes that have more space. Of course that is where we are wrong. All of the homes in the neighborhood are essentially the same size. The layouts might be different from home to home, but the sizes are all the same. Not only in the Aviv neighborhood, but the Sheinfeld neighborhood as well (the Sheinfeld houses are actually a bit larger – say 10%, but we cannot imagine living there either when we see the houses there). Of course, the only house available for rental in the Sheinfeld neighborhood is fully furnished and only 4 bedrooms, and we cannot figure out how we would sleep all the kids there either.
We then went to visit some friends who live 2 blocks away from the house we were looking to rent. They have been living in Israel for 4 years and have been helpful in lining up another house for us to see as well. We have known them for almost our entire married life, with one of us knowing them from childhood (I am specifically deleting identifying information to protect their anonymity – they did not ask nor were they asked to be in the paper).
We end up spending the balance of the day with them as they take us on a tour of Beit Shemesh and Ramat Beit Shemesh. We discuss our concerns with them and they laugh at our naiveté. Surely we cannot be serious. Things are different in Israel, they tell us. The kids are never home, always outside playing with their friends. “Well of course they are all outside,” I respond, “there isn’t enough room for all of them to be inside at the same time!”
THURSDAY NIGHT
We spent Thursday night in Yerushalayim in my uncle’s apartment in Rechavia. It is a beautiful apartment and we are terrified that Moshe is going to break something valuable. But we are all tired and I am feeling incredibly sick, so we get to bed early.
That night, Goldie and I spend at least 2 hours in the dark talking about the houses we have seen. Both of us are experiencing incredible panic and fear that we will not be able to settle our family into this situation. I cannot describe the intensity of our panic. We both agree that we simply do not know what we will do.
It is at this moment that the inevitable second thoughts creep into our minds. Are we making a mistake? Is this really how we want to live? We also discuss the fact that we have already given notice at both jobs, and that the first article about our Aliyah is being read that very moment throughout the 5 Towns. How embarrassing would it be if we came back and said, “never mind.”
At the end of the conversation I reassure Goldie that I am surprised that it took so long for the second guessing to begin. This is very normal, I tell her (hoping that it is so) and I am sure that after we have gotten some sleep we will have a different outlook. Of course, if we don’t we will have to figure out what we want to do.
EREV SHABBOS
We had planned on going to the Vasikin Shachris minyan at the Kotel on Friday morning. When we wake up, I realize that there is no way I will make it. I definitely had a fever overnight, and my throat and ears are in tremendous pain. Anyone I speak to who has allergies assures me that they are also suffering, which is of course no comfort to me. We eventually visit the Kotel for Mincha and walk around the old city - which is of course beautiful as always.
We both agree that the panic has subsided somewhat. While we are definitely concerned about how we will make this work, we agree that we are still 100% committed to what we are doing and that we will have to figure something out.
I have a brother who made Aliyah 6 years ago. His family lives in a Yishuv called Chashmonaim. Chashmonaim is very close to the city of Modi’in. It is also right next door to a community many of you will be familiar with. Kiryat Sefer.
Chashmonaim is a very nice community, filled with only religious residents. It is currently (according to my brother) about 50% “anglo”, and has become a very “hot” location for Americans to settle in. If I had to specify its religious alignment, I would say that it is a very “Bnei Akiva” settlement.
Some of our friends in Beit Shemesh expressed concern that Chashmonaim may be handed back as part of the next step in the Kadima plan for “Border Definition” since Chashmonaim is technically over the green line. However, my brother is quick to point out that not only is Chashmonaim within the borders of the “Security Fence” (you can actually see where the fence is being built atop the mountain between Chashmonaim and the neighboring arab village), it is also closer to the green line than is Kiryat Sefer and its 50,000 residents. Charedi residents. He cannot imagine how the government would be successful in kicking the Charedim out of their homes, and therefore considers himself safe from this latest danger to Israel.
Although I have prepared her for the fact that the houses will be larger than what she has seen, Goldie is floored by the amount of living space in each and every house within the Yishuv. The duplex homes are much bigger than what we have seen, with some of them definitely at least double the size of the Beit Shemesh homes. The houses have full basements, and all seem to have at least 5 or 6 bedrooms or more. To compare, the Chashmonaim houses can be anywhere from 3,500 square feet and up. There is simply no comparison to the house we had seen the day before in Beit Shemesh.
SHABBOS (or SHABBAT)
Friday night I saw many people that I know from Chicago in shul. For those who know me, you know how much I enjoyed the Carlbach style davening and the singing and dancing in Shule during Lecha Dodi. One thing I am struck by (and will be amazed by the entire trip); whenever someone hears I am there to make arrangements for my family’s forthcoming Aliyah they become so excited for us. An announcement is made in shul welcoming us to Israel and many people come over to wish us a Mazal Tov and welcome to Israel.
We are exhausted, and go to sleep immediately after the seudah. I take a bunch of pills to help clear my allergies, and get about 8 hours of sleep.
Shabbos morning I enjoy another melodious davening (with Hallel – it is Rosh Chodesh), and meet Goldie and the extended family outside shul afterwards. She has been speaking with many of the women and feels very welcomed and also very flattered by the obvious good feelings being demonstrated to us as soon to be new Olim. However, I can clearly tell that something is bothering her and that she doesn’t want to talk about it. When I ask her about it, she begins to get choked up and tells me to speak with her later.
After a nice lunch during which we are joined by ex-Chicagoans I have known almost my entire life, we hear to the basement “suite” to put the baby to sleep and possibly nap. Over the next 2 hours we talk about our concerns with Beit Shemesh and the fact that we cannot imagine being happy in any of the houses we have looked at. Although I assure her that I was an equal 50% partner in all the decision making (maybe even more than 50% even), Goldie is literally crying as she discusses it with me and blames herself for the fact that we didn’t even consider anything outside of Beit Shemesh. I am just happy that we are having the discussion now, instead of 6 months later, after having lived miserably in a tiny house after making Aliyah.
The people in Chashmonaim have made a great impression upon us and we discuss the possibility of living there instead of Beit Shemesh. That afternoon, we walk to the park and speak with my brother about rental/purchase opportunities in the Yishuv. By Motzei Shabbos, the entire Yishuv knows we are considering living in the Yishuv, and we go to meet with the primary contractor in the Yishuv about buying a home to be constructed within the year.
So, by Motzei Shabbos when we go to sleep we have essentially changed “from Woodmere to Beit Shemesh”; it has now become “from Woodmere to Chashmonaim”. On Sunday, I have a morning interview with my (prospective) employers. Goldie will spend the day with our sister in law, looking at houses and finding out more details about the Yishuv and surrounding communities. We go to bed a lot more comfortable with what we are doing. Next week: Chashmonaim? Are you sure about that?
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