Bruchim Habaim (part 2): The Charedim have arrived (Article# 60) 10/18/2007

By the time we had gotten to Shmini Ateret/Simchat Torah (which I will refer to only as Shmini Atzeret since it is one day here), we were exhausted. Having arranged tours for our extended family and driven all up and down the country to keep everyone busy, we were ready for Yom Tov to start up again.

As I got out of the shower a few minutes before shul was scheduled to start, I glanced out the window and saw one of the Chassidish Charedim from across the way leaving his apartment building shlepping a couple of huge sacks. As I watched, he proceeded to go into the street and place several large rocks right in the middle of the street on both sides of the road (it is a divided roadway with some trees/bushes in the median).

I live almost literally at the corner of my neighborhood. Both sides of this specific corner are bordered by Charedi neighborhoods. Specifically, they are bordered by Chassidim. These neighborhoods are known as Nachala Umenucha and Ramat Beit Shemesh Bet (RBSB).

Some of you may have heard of Ramat Beit Shemesh. You may even know people who live there. This is not that part. Our friends who live in Ramat Beit Shemesh live in Aleph, a very Yeshivish section that is all the way at the top of a hill. The Bet neighborhood lies on the side of the hill as you make your way down to Beit Shemesh proper.

I remind you; Chareidim, especially Chassidim are very different in the USA. When Goldie was sick in the hospital, Satmar Bikur Cholim was unbelievably helpful to us, making sure we had food daily, getting us a fridge for Shabbat and stopping by every day with a smile and encouragement.

Even before then, while they certainly kept to themselves and are more insular as a community, in the USA we always felt that the Chassidim were never hostile to us, since we were all Jews (with the exception of the disgusting Neturei Karta).

However, here in Israel there is a definite animosity between many (not all) Chareidim and the rest of the public. As I am sure you know, they riot when they are upset at something (the Yerushalayim gay parade, non segregated public buses, even the horrible act of municipal workers taking down their “dress modestly” sign is enough to make the more radical of the Chareidim froth at the mouth).

I am not saying that any of these things are good or bad in and of themselves. I am just pointing out that these are things that cause the Chareidim, specifically the RBSB Chareidim to become violent animals.

I should also say that with the exception of the fact that there is a specific street in the Nachala Umenucha neighborhood in which men and women are required to walk on separate sides of the street, the Nachala Umenucha Chareidim are generally much less hot headed than their neighbors uphill. If there is a conflagration in the Nachala Umenucha side, it is generally spillover from RBSB and I would guess that it is probably people from RBSB as well.

Whether it is the drive to prove themselves as equally radical as the Meah Shearim or Bnei Brak Chareidim (especially since they cannot live there due to space/economic factors), or the drive for simple political power or some other reason, the radicals of RBSB are at the fore in protesting anything they can.

All told, if it wasn’t for RBSB, we would probably have a much quieter existence.

Many will comment that it is only a small few who cause the entire ruckus. My response would be twofold. First, come see who many people comprise “a few” when it comes to the rioting. There is a reason the police have to come out in force.

Secondly, even if it is a choice few individuals, it is the rest of the community’s obligation to stand up and stop them from such inappropriate behavior.

I would hope that if one of my neighbors would start throwing rocks at school buses or would start walking over to women and spitting on them and calling them "a pejorative for prostitute", that me and my neighbors would have the courage and conviction to stop him immediately with whatever force necessary. Regardless of whether or not I was bothered by the same thing he was, it is my obligation to stop someone from acting in a manner harmful to others.

I invite those who assume that the “Chiloni” (non religious) police force invent excuses to fight with Charedim to come live here and see who are the main instigators.

There is no question that the police are happy to bash heads by the Chareidim, think for a second why that is. In many instances the police and the Chilonim are also guilty (and are instigators themselves) when these fights occur. Yet, in my experience, the majority of confrontations are caused by the Chareidim, whether their issues are right or wrong.

Why all this preamble?

Well, that street right outside our house is a major thoroughfare from one part of Beit Shemesh to another. As such, there are (regrettably) cars that pass by a few times an hour, driven by the non religious people in the city.

It is also a major thoroughfare used by Magen David Edom (the ambulance corp.) as they drive through the area. These ambulances are used on Shabbat to get (mostly non-Jewish) medical personnel to the emergency Shabbat medical clinics for the different HMO’s that open on a rotating basis as well as (and most importantly) transporting emergencies to the hospital.

In RBSB, it has become customary to place garbage, rocks, wood and dumpsters in the street to block the flow of traffic and make it impossible for Shabbat “desecrators” to drive through the Chareidi neighborhoods. Apparently, this neighbor at the extreme border of RBSB decided that he wanted to extend this practice to the street in between our house and his.

I was shocked. Maybe even a little offended. I was mostly concerned that people (or ambulances) would come flying down the street in the middle of the night unknowingly, and that these obstacles would cause a potentially harmful accident (in fact – that very night an ambulance DID pass by with lights flashing).

So I did what I thought was appropriate. I waited a few minutes till I knew the guy would be in Shul, and then I went outside, took each one of the rocks and threw them over the fence into the valley right next to this chassid’s building and out of harms way.

Afterward, when discussing this with some of my neighbors I heard universal agreement with what I had done but many of them warned me that if caught, these chareidim would make my life impossible. So don’t snitch on me.

I even asked the Rav about the permissibility of removing these obstacles on Shabbat if I felt that they might cause a danger to people who might not see them in the middle of the night and get into an accident. He also advised me not to do anything in fear of retribution should I get caught “in the act”.

Shmini Atzeret meanwhile, waits for no man – be he me or a chareidi. In the USA, Simchat Torah was always special in our house, being not only a special chag but also our daughter Aliza’s birthday. Twelve years ago we had calmly walked out of the YI of Far Rockaway during the fourth hakafa (dance) at night and made our way to the delivery room to have her.

Here in Israel of course, her birthday falls out on the day after chag, since we now hold one day as Israeli’s. With Aliza’s Bat Mitzva falling out within a day and a couple of conflicts with Bar Mitzvas within the neighborhood on the following Shabbat, we decided to sponsor the Shul’s Kiddush on Shmini Atzeret after the Hakafot.

As a side note, last week I discussed the issue regarding holding one or two days of Chag when in Israel. In response to those who have emailed regarding the issue, I wish to note that Rav Bina did not issue a blanket psak (ruling) that people from outside of Israel should hold only one day of chag when in Israel; in fact, I am specifically aware that he generally holds that people should hold two days of chag in such a circumstance.

As was done in this case, I always recommend consulting your own Rav for decisions regarding your personal situation. I also ask that under no circumstances should you rely upon anything that I have written (be it regarding Chagim, Shmitta, Kashrut or any halachic issue) to have any halachic authority and use it as grounds to do/not do something. It is simply a personal statement of my opinion/impressions of issues as I have understood them when presented to me. I regret any confusion.

The simcha of Aliza’s Bat Mitzva was the reason (besides simply wanting to see us) that our relatives had all trekked to Beit Shemesh for the chagim, and we were pleased to have finally gotten the opportunity to begin the celebration for her.

One of the differences in being here as opposed to the USA is the Kohanim going up for Birkat Kohanim in the chazzan’s repetition of the Shemona Esreh (Amida). Our Rav is incredibly particular about Birkat Kohanim and issued a statement that Kohanim cannot drink alcoholic beverages at the annual Shminin Atzeret Kiddush so that they can still go up for Birkat Kohanim.

As the host of the Kiddush in honor of my daughter’s upcoming Bat Mitzva I got special permission from him to join with those wishing Goldie and I a L’Chaim in honor of Aliza.

On Erev Shabbat following the chagim, I looked out my window a few minutes before Shabbat and lo and behold – there was that Charedi again, pulling his sacks with large stones and (this time) lumber to place all across the roadway.

I agonized over what to do, alternating between concern for my personal safety as per the advice of the Rav of the shul and several friends and my outrage that a person could so wantonly endanger others. Outrage won.

I went to shul and got one of my friends and together we walked around the block (so that they couldn’t identify where we lived if they did notice us) and threw all the junk into the valley. It took me a couple of tries to get somebody who would come with; several of my neighbors were too scared to be a part.

When I told that Rav that I just couldn’t stand by idly he told me that if I am going to persist in doing this, I am obligated to i) not get caught – if there is even a chance that I could get caught then I shouldn’t try, and ii) not go alone – I must have someone to watch my back and let me know if I am about to get into some trouble.

On a positive note, as word began to spread (hey – we all know that shuls are a great resource to spread news) of my activities, several of my neighbors approached me that Shabbat with offers to join me in “rock patrol” if I needed a hand. One of them even called the police that week to tip them off what was going on and the police promised him that they would make a visit to the building during the week, going apartment to apartment to impress upon the residents not to continue with the obstructions. I don’t know if they followed through on the promise, but considering what happened the following week - they may have.

Aliza’s Bat Mitzva party was on the following Sunday night in the social hall of our shul. We had sponsored the Kiddush on Shmini Atzeret to share our simcha with the community; this party was for relatives and Aliza’s friends.

As opposed to Chaim and Chaya before her, Aliza took a very active role in planning her party with specific requests and instructions. In addition to her speech, she had me prepare a video slideshow (which can be seen on youtube) for the party as well.

My brother hired a keyboardist and personally sang for us and also arranged for us to have an Israeli English speaking mentalist put on a brief show. All in all, Aliza and her friends enjoyed the event, which cost us much less than a similar one would have cost in NY.

Aliza’s friends were terrific. They were very caught up in the ruach (spirit) and their energy was clearly evident. Even Chaya’s friends, several of whom came as guests, were unbelievably exuberant and energetic.

With the exception of Chaim (who has no patience for sisters), the kids all enjoyed themselves. Moshe was fantastic, dancing to the songs and trying to sing along with his uncle. Mordechai had such a good time that he officially requested Uncle Ely for his Bar Mitzva, although he did comment to me on the side that there seemed to be a lot of girls in the room and he would prefer “if there will be more boys” at his Bar Mitzva.

Batya had one of her friends join us and gloried in the attentions of her family and all of Aliza’s and Chaya’s girlfriends who fussed over her (she had her hair especially done earlier in the day). Even Chaya, who is constantly fighting with Aliza had a great time and you could see how honestly happy she was for her sister.

After the party, began the recovery. Goldie’s parents left on Tuesday morning; they are scheduled to return to Israel for Pesach. My parents went to my sister at the same time and left the country a couple of days later.

For those of you who know Goldie you will understand what I mean when I say that Goldie was so relieved to get the house back in normal order after all the company, that she started work at around 10 AM and had everything back to normal by the time I came home that night (well, all except my office which is still messy).

Since it has been a few weeks since I last wrote about a potential strike in this country, the second largest middle and high school teachers union in Israel decided to make life fun for 600,000 students and declared a strike on Wednesday. There are now many closed schools and many more of them are running in abridged schedules with early closings and some unintended days off.

Both of our older girls are affected by the strike. They end school early and have Fridays off. Chaya even has random weekdays off, as the principal juggles rotating each class into an off day to free up some of the teachers to cover classes of the striking staff.

The disgusting thing is that there is already a deal that was negotiated by the larger union last year. The head of the smaller union, miffed that he was left out of the negotiations of the deal and angry at what he determined was a bad deal, decided to strike anyway because he wants a better deal.

Unfortunately for him (and the 600,000 students), the finance people simply cannot offer more because they would then have to deal with the much larger unions anger at having gotten the short end of the stick.

So we have what is common here in Israel. A standoff. The posturing and stare downs are so common here. In this case it is also incredibly stupid and might last for months.

I feel terrible for my sister whose son’s school is totally on strike. He is about to start his third week of extra vacation with no end in sight.

On Wednesday we also got a call from an old friend. Judy and Lenny Simon from Chicago had been friends of ours when we first got married and lived in Chicago for a year. They made Aliyah several years ago and are currently living in Beit El.

Last month we attended a Bar Mitzva of another family that lives in Beit El. As Goldie and I were leaving the Bar Mitzva, Judy Simon chased us down to say hi and reconnect.

As we talked, Judy asked if she could interview Aliza for a radio show for kids that she hosts on Arutz 7 radio. Geared toward English speaking kids from outside Israel, she wanted to have Aliza talk for a few minutes with her about her experience in making Aliyah.

Judy was calling to schedule the interview with Aliza which took place a couple of days later. To hear the interview, go to http://msmedia.a7.org:82/arutz7/shows/mk/kids071014.mp3, Aliza appears about halfway through the show.

(Point of Fact: No we were not planning Aliyah for years as Aliza claims in the interview and we did hire tutors to help her adjust in school for the first year)

By the time Shabbat came around I was ready for a break. And got one.

I had been expecting my chareidi neighbor to once again block the street with his rocks and stuff and was pleasantly surprised to see that he didn’t show. I am not sure if he gave up because he saw that the stuff was disappearing or because the cops came by and scared him (if that is possible).

That night I went to a Shalom Zachor. Goldie told me that after I left the house, two groups of Chassidim came to stand on the sidewalk about 100 feet from each other across the street from our house.

They stood there without talking to each other or maybe speaking Divrei Torah (a small discourse about the Torah). When a car would come driving by, the were galvanized to action, screaming “SHAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOSSSSSS, SHAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOSSSSSS” at the top of their lungs for about 30 seconds. Then they would stop and wait for the next car.

This went on for over an hour until they finally went home. According to Goldie, not a single driver suddenly stopped driving his/her car and tearfully emerged with a sudden commitment to keeping the Torah.

The next day as I discussed it with somebody from the “rock patrol”, he commented that it seemed to him as if these Chassidim would eventually win. Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.

“I mean that they will probably intimidate people into not driving by on Shabbat.”

I thought about that and then told him that I couldn’t care any less about that. Quite frankly, it wouldn’t bother me if cars stop driving by on Shabbat. All I cared about was stopping a potentially dangerous situation from happening. At this point they can yell and scream all they want.

Yelling and screaming never injured any one. It is a mitzva for me to protect others from harm and to prevent some one from harming others and I felt the obligation to stand up and stop such things from happening. They are acting like fools and doing things that I think are stupid, but that isn’t my problem.

There is no mitzvah for me to stop people from being stupid.

Bruchim Habaim (part 1): Hachnassat Orchim (Article #59) 10/11/2007

Wow. What an overwhelming couple of weeks we have had. I almost regret having the week off from writing as it came during a very busy time and now there is so much to say I don’t know where to begin.

With Aliza’s Bat Mitzva scheduled for the Sunday after Sukkot, both my parents and Goldie’s (as well as Goldie’s brother David and his family) made arrangements to come to Israel for the Chag. At one point (Shabbat Chol Hamoed) we had 19 people sleeping in the house (including Goldie’s niece Sarah who is spending the year here), and to spice things up added a guest (one of the students from my Yeshiva) for a meal.

With a European style oven that is more the size of a toaster than an oven, Goldie was forced to begin preparing for Yom Tov many weeks in advance and freezing everything so that she could have time to enjoy all our family who were joining us. She also had to plan the various chol hamoed activities to keep all the tourists (as well as some of the locals - us) busy.

Two days before the beginning of Sukkot, my father in law and I went to Ramat Beit Shemesh to buy lulavim. Since it was a little last minute, the pickings were a little slim, but the prices were very attractive. I got four “A minus” grade sets of lulavim & etrogim (including the hadassim & aravot) for about $35 each complete set. No – that is not a typo.

Had I planned a little earlier, I could have saved three or four dollars each set by ordering through the Rosh Yeshiva’s son. But I had no idea he was in the business and will have to save him for next year. He told me that the main sellers in Yerushalayim have two prices, one for Americans and a second for Israelis, since the Americans are used to paying more and are ready to pay the price.

We had a confusion of practices in our house for the actual Yom Tov. My father holds 2 days of chag when in Israel, as per the psak (ruling) of his uncle, R’ Moshe Feinstein. Our niece also held 2 days, which made a three day chag for three of our guests. Goldie’s parents and brother (who was in Yerushalayim for the first day of Sukkot), following a personal psak, hold 1 day of chag.

All the chagim are special here. There are all the guests who show up and make the shul a little more crowded. There is the atmosphere of the whole country who are all enjoying (even the non-religious) a little break from the routine. Most of all, there is the connection we have to Israel and just feeling incredibly Jewish without any sense of being an outsider or being odd from the rest of your neighbors.

Sukkot was hot. I mean really hot. I had promised myself to leave off one of the walls and only build another one halfway so that we could have a cross breeze, but didn’t follow through on my plan. So we sat in the heat and roasted for the day meals (although there were really only two holiday meals to sit through – the chol hamoed day meals were either quickly finished or totally skipped in favor of a big dinner when it cooled down).

On Friday, since there wasn’t time to organize a major tiyul (trip) for the entire group (especially since a bunch of them were home keeping Yom Tov), Goldie and I took the three oldest kids to the USA consulate in Yerushalayim to renew their passports.

My cousin and his family were staying in Yerushalayim for Sukkot and we had prearranged that I would get a lunch delivery to him. Unfortunately, the delivery service decided to take the day off, so we spent a bit of time coordinating the order and then my father in law kindly volunteered to bring it over himself.

I had gone through the passport renewal process a couple of weeks earlier so we were prepared for an hour+ long ordeal of waiting in line. However, I now know that a Friday second day of chag that coincided with Ramadan is the best time to go to the consulate. The place was totally empty.

All the American Jews were either keeping chag for a second day or enjoying their vacation and all the Arabs were heading off to prayers. Since the consulate is located on the fringe of an Arab neighborhood near Shaar Shechem (the Damascus Gate of the Old City of Jerusalem), there were tons of them pouring into and through that area on their way to their prayers in the old city.

It was a little strange to be the minority. We had to park a mile from the consulate because of all the traffic and closed roads and walk among the throngs of Arabs making their way in. I was more concerned about the car getting stolen or broken into (which is very ordinary throughout Yerushalayim) than anything else.

When we got to the consulate I was concerned that it had closed unexpectedly. There was no line at all.

We got through security and were waiting our turn for processing within 5 minutes of arrival, and were totally done in about 20 minutes time. We were literally number two in line and the major delay was our having to go upstairs to pay the courier service for delivery of the passports when they arrive.

I understand that in the USA it takes several months to process passport requests. We get ours in 2 to 3 weeks.

On Shabbat there was some concern that it might actually rain (it DID drizzle on Erev Chag for about 3 minutes) and with meals of 19 and 20, Goldie was very nervous about fitting everyone in the house. We ended up just having more heat.

On Sunday the real fun began as we finally started to go on tiyulim (trip) with the family. While the Grandparents went on their own trips, the rest of us went to an area just past the resort area of the Dead Sea where we took an ATV tour. We were joined by my Uncle Shimmie from Chicago as well as the Halpern family of Far Rockaway who were in Israel for Sukkot and had reserved to be in the same tour.

Most of the teenagers and almost all the adults had a chance to drive, some of the teenagers were scolded for drag racing and everyone had an awesome time. We got to see a mountain literally made of salt and stone that is pushing up from the ground at a rate of 4 to 5 feet a year. We had a chance to taste the mountain walls, it literally tasted like salt.

We then separated from the group and went to the Dead Sea for a refreshing float. In the end, only Aliza and Mordechai joined me in the water. Everyone else was scared to aggravate a cut or sore. Aliza left after a couple of minutes but Mordechai and I enjoyed a nice soak.

I was again amazed at how soft your skin gets after exposure to the Dead Sea waters. As we left the water, we noticed big chunks of salt at the bottom. We took 7 or 8 of them home with us as souveniers and I am trying to encourage Goldie to chop them up and use it to soak in at home.

As we drove to pick up some drinks, I commented to Goldie how I wished there was a Succah handy for us to eat in when we drove by the Chabad of the Dead Sea’s Succah. Those guys are everywhere!

Of course, there were no kosher pizza stores around, and we learned right then to pack a dinner for the men too – since you never know if there is going to be a Succah around or not.

The next day we headed to Zichron Yaakov to learn about the Chilazon (snail) that is supposed to be the source of Techelet (blue dye used by some to color Tzitzit strings). My brother joined us with his family as well all of Goldie’s relatives and we learned a lot about the chemistry and history of these specific snails.

We then headed to the beach to go snorkeling and see if we could find any of them. Our group only found about 12 of them; they are much more numerous when you go out further into the Mediterranean Sea and at greater depths.

We concluded the tour by actually participating in preparation of the techelet dye, as well as watching the effects of the sun on the dye and the transformation from green to deep blue – which was amazing.

Following the tour, we capitalized on our experience the day before and enjoyed a dinner prepared by Goldie in the Succah on the grounds of the museum we were visiting. It was a nice relaxed meal and certainly made the trip home much more comfortable without 6 kids screaming “I AM STARVING” at the top of their lungs.

Our final tour day was back in Zichron Yaakov for two tours. First, we (us and all the “out of town” relatives) toured the Carmel wine factory there and got to see how they make their wines. We learned about the aging process and how they decide what wines to produce in a given year.

Our tour concluded with a wine tasting session (in the factory Succah of course) where we got to sample a bunch of different sweet and dry wines. We all enjoyed that, even the kids who convinced the guide to let them have small tastes. (They each also got their own bottle of Grape Juice).

After that tour we went down the beach toward Netanya for some beachside horseback riding. My sister joined us for that.

Turns out that the horses are not full size horses and since I am a more than full size guy, I couldn’t ride. So everyone went without me, leaving me with the Bubbies and the Zaides as well as the little kids.

As part of our deal with the stable, the little kids got free pony rides. Since there weren’t too many people around, the handlers put the kids on the pony and then let me lead the pony around the parking lot for a few turns. It was a hidden treat for me to experience the kids’ joy in riding the pony.

Unlike our previous chagim, we did not see too many people that we knew from the USA. A few people here and there - the Halperns at jeeping, the Gottesmans from Chicago at the techelet tour – but for the most part we deliberately avoided places like Ir David or the Kotel tunnel tours and tried to do things that were a little off the beaten track.

We had all experienced most of the major tourist attractions (although I will eventually give in and take my kids to the chol hamoed Birkat Kohanim at the Kotel at some point) and decided to try and find some of the things that most people wouldn’t think of doing. I think we were mostly successful.

By the time Shemini Atzeret/Simchat Torah (remember – only one day for both) arrived, we were ready to begin celebrating Aliza’s Bat Mitzva. But that is a story for next week in The Chareidim are here: Bruchim Habaim part 2.

Even the Land Needs a Break (Article #58) 9/25/2007

On Motzei Shabbat Teshuva, I joined with some of our students for one of my all time favorite activities in Israel. We got together with Standing Together and brought pizza and drinks to chayalim (soldiers) at security checkpoints. Nothing makes me feel prouder to be here than in demonstrating support for the young men and women who keep me and my family safe.

I know that the students enjoyed it too. Although they had been to a MAGA”V (Border Police) training base a few weeks earlier, that tiyul (field trip/hike) had been to plant trees on the base and also to learn about MAGA”V. This evening was totally voluntary and on their own time.

So this was an opportunity for them to really connect one on one with the chayalim with no agenda other than to say thanks to them. Of course they enjoyed the pizza and the soda, but it means so much more to them that these young Americans, Canadians and South Africans came out on a chilly night to do something that most foreigners don’t do. Say thanks.

One of the chayalim pulled me aside as we left to thank me for bringing the guys. I responded that it was we who owed him our thanks for standing a post on cold nights. His response? “It is people like this that give me the strength to sit out on those cold nights.”

Can’t beat that, can you?

With the coming of the new year came a new wrinkle to our always confused lives. This year is a Shmitta (sabbatical) year in the land of Israel, where farmers are forbidden from the Torah from raising produce in order to give the land a recharge. Since this only applies in Israel, other than avoiding Jaffa oranges every seven years, we have never really had to deal with the issues involved with keeping Shmitta.

Of course, as with everything else in Israel, there are the inevitable politics involved as well. There are many machinations used to allow for Kosher produce in the Shmitta year which range from simply importing goods from outside the country or buying produce from Arabs, to selling the land to non-Jews and then working their land for them (this procedure is frowned upon by many Poskim).

Further complicating the matter is my desire not to give business to Arab farmers if I can at all avoid it. The general Chareidi public has no problem with this, but the National Religious Public generally do. So I don’t want to buy from the Chareidi endorsed products (which I would normally have no problem with) either.

In order to accommodate people like me, a new organization was formed called Otzar HaAretz. Essentially, they identify products that use halachically approved growth measures (hydroponics, growth above and not in the ground, sale of land to Beit Din with consumers paying only the labor costs {known as Otzar Beit Din} or as a last resort non Jewish grown) to provide produce for the Shmitta year.

They even identify which produce comes from what source, so that the consumer can choose which rulings he wishes to follow.

Additionally, there are stringent requirements on how to dispose of peels, pits, seeds and other waste which incredibly complicate our lives as well (imagine having to save orange peels and seeds all day until you get to your special Shmitta garbage can). Gravies, soups, fruitcake and orange juice are all examples of things that care needs to be taken in their disposal.

Unfortunately, there are so many different rules and so many varying opinions on what is and isn’t acceptable, that it is dizzying to try to keep track of them. I am definitely concerned that we are going to make mistakes just because we didn’t know what the right thing to do was.

Then there are things like flowers for Shabbat/Chaggim or having a garden in your backyard. There was a frenzy of summer planting this year, to make sure things got done on time.

This process doesn’t even end by Rosh Hashana. Produce started on Rosh Hashana because the produce goes by when it is harvested. However, fruits, whose Shmitta status is based upon when the tree begins to flower (after Rosh Hashana) and THEN develop fruit begin to have Shmitta issues around mid winter and we will need to be careful about them until Pesach a year and a half from now.

One thing that makes me feel a little less stupid about Shmitta is that Israelis who have lived here their whole lives are entirely confused as well.

We will be making a Bat Mitzva celebration for our daughter Aliza immediately following Sukkot. Accordingly, various relatives will be visiting us for the Chag. So, even though we are a one day Yom Tov family, we will be making three sets of three day Yom Tovs this year in order to accommodate the foreigners. All while busy explaining the various Shmitta laws to them.

If you will be in Beit Shemesh for Simchat Torah (ours, not that extra day you guys add on), we invite you to come join Goldie and I in Rabbi David’s shul as we host the Kiddush that day in honor of Aliza.

May you all enjoy a wonderful Chag and may we all enjoy the next one together here in Israel.

Welcome 5768 (Article # 57) 9/20/2007

Although it seemed like 5767 lasted for three or four years instead of the usual 12 months, the last few weeks of the year seemed to really fly by. With the arrival of our new students, the beginning of the school year for our kids (and 4 out of 6 going to new schools) and the preparations for the Yamim Noraim (High Holidays) and Sukkot, there suddenly weren’t enough hours in the day to get things done.

On Erev Rosh Hashana the Yeshiva went to the Kotel for Selichot at midnight. The entire plaza was filled with people and was definitely a sight to see. The Sephardi minyanim were especially fascinating as they sang various responses and songs with one voice – as loud as they possibly could.

I had originally thought it would be a great experience, but was too overwhelmed by the sounds and sights to really get into it. There were too many people shouting for us to hear our Chazzan, and I didn’t feel as inspired as I thought I would be.

I had privately told a couple of people that I was a little worried about getting motivated for Davening on Rosh Hashana this year. Although you would think that having gone through such trials personally during the year that I would be especially charged, I actually found a lack of feeling as it approached.

We had gone through our own personal Yom HaDin (Day of Judgement) back in the months of April and May and have been so engulfed with Davening for health and recovery (which continues) that I felt almost drained by the time Rosh Hashana arrived. I’d been davening for a good result every day – not just Rosh Hashana, and felt that there was nothing left in my emotional tank. Plus, the enormity of what we have been through is still sifting down to us as we settle down.

Further complicating things for me was the lack of our oldest son Chaim by my side for the first time (he was in Yeshiva – 10 minutes away). Chaim has davened at my side on Chagim (Holidays) and most Shabbatot for the past ten years. With the next 3 siblings being girls, it will be another year or two before Mordechai is old enough to take Chaim’s place.

Chaim did join us (with 2 other guys from Yeshiva each meal) for two meals on Yom Tov, so we did get to see him. However, I definitely missed him in shul and I know Goldie missed him as well. I guess this is preparation for when he goes to college. *Sigh*

For the first day of Rosh Hashana I was definitely right about my davening. I tried to concentrate and immerse myself in the davening, but I just felt a little detached. Which is tough when davening starts at 7 AM and ends at 1:30 PM with no break (OK – so I came 20 minutes late – I was still there for hours).

I wrote an email to a couple of friends about the second day of Yom Tov. Here is an excerpt.

I sat in Shul on Friday during laining, and I watched one neighbor walk over to 2 other fellows in shul and make a comment to them and see their interaction and interpersonal reactions and I started to cry. No way around admitting it.…when I saw the easy comfort those fellows had with each other it really hit home for me how much I miss you. It is not easy to find friends with whom you can say anything or hear them say anything to you and know that they are OK with you. It is even harder to have friends with whom a 5 minute discussion becomes a "Oh my, I told the wife I was going to be home an hour and a half ago" and then still stay shmoozing on the for another 20 minutes anyway. So I started to cry because I simply missed my friends and the …. life I had with them. With all the different things that happened to us, even though we had the support and concern of our whole neighborhood, when it was 8:45 PM on a Friday night and everyone was asleep I had no one to talk to and tell them (about) the week ….. I had nobody I could say 2 words or maybe even just raise an eyebrow to in the middle of Lecha Dodi and have them KNOW exactly what joke I was making. It isn't often that we remember to tell our friends how much they mean and have meant to us, and I wanted to just tell you how much I miss being there with you. On a separate note, once the floodgates opened I was a basket case for the rest of shul and I might have to replace the pages from Unesaneh Tokef (Mussaf day two) in my machzor since they were totally covered in tears. So, thank you for that too. Thank you for …. breaking the ice for me and allowing me to channel some of my feelings into tefilla.

Even though things have begun to get better and better for us as we continue to adjust and settle in, sometimes I am reminded just how difficult this transition has been. To restart your whole life at 40 is not always the easiest thing in the world, no matter how happy the kids may be or how much better we have settled in as time passes.

I know I’ve said this before, but we still do (and hopefully always will) love and miss our many friends (and family) back in the USA. For us (as opposed to many olim from countries such as Russia or Ethiopia), Aliyah was not running away – it was running towards. So, I am not saying that I want to be in America or that we aren’t happy with where we are. Even so, just because we’re not looking to go back at this time doesn’t mean that I can’t miss the friends and life we left behind. I do.

Have a Gmar Chatima Tova!

Turning the Calendar Again (Article #56) 9/11/2007

On Motzei Shabbat (Sat. night) last week, Goldie co-chaired a “Welcome to our Community” event for our shul. Essentially, the shul runs an annual event where the new olim get to meet the members of the shul and vice versa.

We had a lot of fun meeting many of our neighbors at this same event last year, and when she was asked to help coordinate the evening, Goldie readily agreed. The women put together a “human bingo” game where each square represented a characteristic and the participants had to go around the room trying to find someone to match the characteristic.

While competitive people like me worry about winning (we didn’t), it is a great way to “break the ice” and find out a lot about each other.

On Monday night, Goldie and I went to 7th Grade Parents Night at Chorev for Aliza. We were struck by two major things that night.

The first thing hit us at the end of the night. We had listened to both the Principal and then Aliza’s teacher tell us all about the upcoming year and some of the things we should expect. We had filled out the contact forms and gotten the various handouts from the teacher. We were getting our things ready to leave when a woman in front of us turned to us and said. “OK – did they say anything I needed to know?”

AND WE KNEW THE ANSWER.

Yes, this is getting to be a recurring theme. But I just can’t get over how much better it is to understand 65% of what you are hearing instead of 20%. Plus, since we have lived through “the toughest year”, we also knew enough not to sweat it if we missed anything.

The second thing hit us at the mall. We hadn’t eaten dinner, so we stopped by the Malcha Mall to grab a bite at the food court.

As we rode the escalator Goldie noticed a huge sign put up by the mall, wishing all the shoppers a Happy and Sweet New Year. She turned to me and said, “You know, a year ago I would have been all excited about seeing this sign. Now, I take it as the way things are supposed to be.”

I think she meant it as a little bit of a loss for us, that somehow we don’t have the same wide eyed enthusiasm for Israel that we might have had a year ago.

I, however, took it much differently. I thought, isn’t it great that we can live in a place where we can take such things for granted as the natural course of events.

On Tuesday, I joined the students of the Yeshiva on a tiyul (field trip) to Ir David, the site archeologists believe was the castle of King David. As part of that tiyul, we hiked through Chizkiyahu’s water tunnel.

This was my third time on this specific tiyul in the last 14 months. I don’t think this is a tiyul that one can get tired of.

Aside from being an active archeological site where the tour changes each time a new part of the site is opened for public viewing (3 times at the site – 3 different tours for me), the water tunnels are tremendously cool (no other way to say it) and being there with the Yeshiva guys is just tremendous.

After Ir David, we went for Mincha to the Kotel, and concluded the day with a brief tour of the Old City of Jerusalem. Although I am repeating myself, once again I was struck at how great it is that I can say that I just jumped on the bus in the morning, visited King David’s castle, walked through water tunnels that have been existent almost since the founding of Jerusalem, davened at the Kotel and toured the Old City of Jerusalem and returned HOME for dinner.

On Shabbat we co-sponsored an annual Kiddush thrown by the members of the Shul who had made Aliyah the prior year and were celebrating their one year anniversary. I remembered being at the same Kiddush last year in our first week after moving into the neighborhood. It seems a lot more than one year ago.

This week marks the completion of our first full calendar year here in Israel. As things stand, it looks like the year will end without the rebuilding of the Beit HaMikdash and a rebuilt Jerusalem.

Thinking back to last year, there was obviously no way we could have had a glimmer of thought as to what we should have been davening for and what H-shem had in store for us. Yet somehow he got us through to be in what we hope is a good place for us and our family.

We have grown, as a group and as individuals.

On behalf of Goldie and myself, Chaim, Chaya, Aliza, Batya, Mordechai and Moshe, our family wishes you and your families a Shana Tova Umetuka (Sweet New Year). May we be privileged to celebrate the coming of the next new year together in our Holy Land and rebuilt Holy City of Jerusalem.

What a Difference a Year Makes (Article #55) 9/6/2007

It is often startling when you are able to actually see the contrast between whom you were at one point in your life and who you have become. One short year ago, we were totally out of our environment and trying to adjust to our new surroundings.

While we are still “wet behind the ears” new olim, and will be considered such for quite some time, Goldie and I are both amazed at how different our lives are from last year. In many ways.

Last year we were struggling with getting the kids ready for school and trying to figure out where to find things in the grocery store. We’d go to parent meetings where we didn’t understand a word and feel totally overwhelmed with buying school supplies or signing up for hot lunch.

The weeks between camp and school were a frenzied time where we tried to get the kids out from underfoot for a few moments while i) we moved into the “backup” rented house, ii) we arranged for our lift to (finally) arrive in Israel via Greece (remember that?), iii) Chaim arrived from summer camp, iv) we got frustrated by the fact that we couldn’t find anything in the stores we thought they would be in and v) we dealt with my boss having an unscheduled all expenses paid government provided tour of Northern Israel and Southern Lebanon (supervising major building renovations and opening up the new school year for our students).

The country was at war and refugees from Northern communities under fire were living in school buildings and peoples houses. It was a scary and stressful time.

It feels like a different world to us today (and it is). Instead of frantic scrambling to prepare for school, Goldie did most of the shopping months ago and only bought two or three of “the wrong” things by mistake. Instead of being involved with settling in and getting our stuff, we were involved with planning a Bat Mitzva (1 month to go) and taking the kids on tiyulim (trips).

It is still often scary, but our understanding and acceptance that this is the cost we pay for the zchut (benefit) of living in our homeland. We still worry about our kids and our country, but it is less with a sense of awe and more with a sense of acceptance.

Part of our adjustment and klitta (absorption into Israeli society) is the fact that we are getting a small glimmer of what to expect in most situations (and if you are a regular reader of this column you know that we have faced quite a few). So we were very prepared for school and expected to have a half month of August where there was nothing for the kids to do in Beit Shemesh.

Armed with this knowledge, Goldie and Chaia Broderick planned a series of interesting “touristy” day trips to keep the kids occupied. With most of our big kids away at camp, they were able to focus on places that were good for the little kids.

They spent a very nice day at the biblical zoo in Yerushalayim. In the USA we had been members of the zoo in NY, going 3 or 4 times a year at the minimum. While the bigger kids weren’t so into the zoo, the little kids always loved it and we took to going on those Sundays when the bigger kids were away at camp.

They also went to a place called Eretz Bereishit. Located close to Maalei Adumim, it is designed to give you an understanding of what life may have been like during biblical times.

They start with a small play of the times of Avraham, Sarah and Eliezer. Then everyone dresses up in periodic costumes and "eliezer" leads you on a camel ride to the tent of Avraham to do Hachanasat Orchim (welcoming guests). There is a small play in the tent after which they served some dried fruits and nuts with water and tea. There was also a workshop in making pita.

Rounding out the days with some shopping and trips to play centers, the kids (and their mother) always had something to do to keep from going stir crazy before the start of the school year.

One benefit of living here is that school starts much earlier (and tuition costs are much lower). With the early start for the Chagim (holidays) this year, most of the religious schools started a week earlier than normal, and we had all our kids in school by Sunday, September 2.

For those who have been with us for a while, I am sure you will remember how horrific our first few days (days? months!) were last year. Mordechai was terrified of going and it was agonizing to watch how it affected his entire day. Batya understood 2 words. The whole house was filled with anxious and confused kids.

Well, all except for Moshe who was too little to know what was going on anyway and will be spending a second year in his Israeli Gan (preschool), speaking and understanding Hebrew like an Israeli.

In truth, I had forgotten how horrible it was for them and had to reread last year’s paper to remind myself. I can happily report that much has changed since that time.

Mordechai (who moved up to Kitta Aleph - 1st grade) has been so excited to be going to school to learn how to read that we have had trouble containing his exuberance. Every day we ask him how school was that day. So far the answer has been, “SUPER GOOD!”

Batya, who switched schools has also been burstingly happy. She is in a class with very few English speakers and we were concerned that she might feel out of place. She is having the time of her life, even complaining that the work is too easy for her (until she gets to Math). She sometimes walks home with a neighbor and they often stop to get a stick of gum or some other treat.

There is no “school bus” for Batya, so she takes a special city bus home. The city runs a few special lines just for the students of the various schools. They run only once in each direction and if you miss the buss you are stuck. We are amazed at how responsible she has become in making sure that she has her ticket, knows where to go, can walk home (25 minutes) at an age where we really sheltered her older siblings and would never have let them walk home from school by themselves.

Aliza who had an “I don’t care that I don’t speak Hebrew” attitude a year ago is now in an extremely challenging academic school, with a class with 4 English speakers and is also doing well. She was placed in a different class than 90% of the Beit Shemesh students and had considered switching classes, but found out that her homeroom teacher is the best in the grade and is actually the Head of the Grade for all the 7th grade classes. So she decided to stick with that class and tells us that she really doesn’t care about the English or the fact that she didn’t know anyone when she walked in the door. Her only complaint? She doesn’t have a full length mirror in which to check herself out. GIRLS!

Chaya has reinvented herself over the summer. She has always been bright, but had never been a very diligent student and we were (and continue to be) worried about her achieving an Israeli HS diploma. Yet, something clicked for her in 9th grade and she decided to take things more seriously.

Her principal challenged her to do a ton of summer homework to be better prepared for the year and she buckled down and got it done, putting her in a much better position to start the year than she would have been. She loves her school and the girls her age and asked us to increase the hours she gets homework help to make sure that she gets it all done.

Even though academically she has and will struggle because of the language barrier, I would say that socially and emotionally Chaya has had the best adjustment of the kids. The school she is in put zero pressure on her last year, preferring that she find herself within the social group first and then slowly upped the level.

Chaim walked into the year fearful that he would not be able to attend college because he would have zero options without a HS diploma. He went from disaster to disaster in his school and was very concerned for his own future. Yet, in the end, the GMAX program was a gift to us and he is now learning full time at Yesodei HaTorah, a 15 minute walk from home.

I know it has only been one year, and that tomorrow the ceiling can come crashing down upon us (as it has in so many ways this past year). Yet, we came on Aliyah hearing how awful it would be for our kids (especially the teenagers) and we (hopefully) have well adjusted and happy kids. We have a long way to go with them, but I think they are definitely on a good path for success and that is all we can hope for, no?

While all this was going on, I still had work to go to as well. The zman (semester) started well, and on Wednesday we went to visit a basic training base of the Border Police. We had gotten Rabbinic approval to plant non fruit bearing trees on the base, and we joined together with the soldiers in basic training on the base in planting about 100 trees there.

With the Shmitta year about to open, this was literally the last chance for us to participate in anything of this sort, so we seized the opportunity. It was a very nice way to start the year off and I think the guys all enjoyed having the chance to do something for Israel right off the bat.

We had a chance to meet some of the soldiers and had a special meeting with recent Olim soldiers. They spoke to the guys about their reasons for coming to Israel as well as their reasons for serving in the army and specifically the Border Police. We also saw a marksmanship demonstration and some security exercises.

On Thursday, Goldie and I were privileged to join the Begun family as they celebrated the Bar Mitzva of three of their sons in Chevron. Goldie and I were very excited when we got the invitation; a chance to celebrate a simcha with people from “the old country” is indeed a cause for celebration. The invitation came with an additional invitation to join them on their special bus from Jerusalem.

We were conflicted about what to do regarding transportation. Going with the bus would have put us on their full day in Chevron schedule. We would also have had to get to Yerushalayim very early and were concerned about how we would get there on time after getting all the kids out to their various schools in the morning (6 kids = 6 different schools).

Last year, for the August 1 issue of the paper, I wrote the following about a trip we took to Chevron and the Mearat Hamachpela (burial ground of the patriarchs) in our first month here……“we were initially concerned about traveling into such a hot zone, even though we had arranged to travel via armored car….. Although my brother in law questioned our need to get a bulletproof vehicle for our trip, since we really did not even get a nasty glance, I must admit that we felt more comfortable having the vehicle.”

Last year we refused to go without a bulletproof van. One year later? We drove our own (brand new) car through various Arab villages to Qiryat Arba (Jewish community on the outskirts of Chevron). Since we had no idea how to get to the Meara, we used the advice of my boss Benny Pflanzer and picked up some Israeli hitchhikers who’d know the way to the Jewish section of Chevron. Wouldn’t want to make a wrong turn there – no matter how much security was around.

Bulletproof van? Come on.

We did think twice about driving there, but felt very confident that we would be safe with no problems. The truth is, and sometimes we fail to recognize this, the vast majority of the Arabs want to fight as little as we do. I am not saying that we should set aside precautions. What I am saying is that they generally do work.

So we drove ourselves and the drive was uneventful. Deciding to drive actually worked in our favor as Chaim’s Rosh Yeshiva made a Brit Milah (circumcision) for his newborn son that morning that we were consequently able to attend.

The Begun family had joined with Chabad of the 5 Towns in their annual trip to Israel, and the participants glowed as they told us about the various places they had been, especially in their dedication of a rec. center for a Golani brigade. I am sure that there is a major review of the trip elsewhere in the 5TJT.

It had been a year since we had last been in Chevron. We had a few minutes to ourselves before the Seudat Mitzva for the Bar Mitzva boys and we stumbled upon the site of some recent news.

We had read about a building that some of the residents of the Jewish Community of Chevron had bought and moved into only to have their right to live there challenged by Arabs claiming to own the building. Ultimately, the Army evicted the Jews from the building and we came across the results.

We could see the places where the walls were literally ripped from the building so that no one should be able to live there. It was sad to see yet another place where our bitter struggle, both against ourselves and against our enemies is brought so harshly into reality.

I don’t know who owned the building or who was right or wrong. I just wish that neither side felt so persecuted against that they feel forced to take extreme measures to try to gain what they want. While I definitely sympathize much more closely with the Jewish people of Chevron than any other side, their rhetoric often shocks me.

The Begun simcha was terrific. It is hard to match our country for emotional religious impact. Being called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah in the spot where our patriarchs are buried, being the newest link in a chain that spans generations from those who were the first Jews to us who are the current Jews, what could be more moving?

Arriving late (after attending the morning Brit Mila), we hooked up with the group just after davening. It was nice to see the Wolowick’s and those of the group who we knew from the 5 Towns as well as meeting new people who had never been to Israel and were experiencing it for the first time.

Seeing such a motivated group who came in from the USA and hearing how charged they were by their experience in Israel was very uplifting and encouraging to us. As one of the people said to us, “Israel is a great place to visit – it must be a better place to live!”

The Babysitters Return (Article #54) 8/30/2007

Sometimes it seems as if the weeks trudge by as slowly as possible. Other times, time flies by so fast that it is hard to keep a handle on things. Thankfully, we appear to be moving from the former to the latter. I say thankfully because we have been ready for things to pick up for some time so that we can get back into a rhythm.

Just before Shabbat (a week+ ago) Goldie got a frantic call from Chaia Broderick (who made Aliyah only a few weeks after us – to Ramat Beit Shemesh) who needed to immediately bring by one of her kids for Goldie’s inspection. As I left for Shul (we make early Shabbat), Chaia pulled up and brought one of the boys in to have Goldie confirm that he did indeed have hair lice and show Chaia what to do to get rid of them.

I was amazed that the Brodericks had gone a complete year without a single case in their family. After all, it isn’t what goes on in your house that determines if your child gets it – it is what goes on in the house of the kid sitting next to them. If your child’s friend has it and their parents don’t do anything about it, which astoundingly happens often here, viola – now your kid has it too.

Although we haven’t had a case in a while (Goldie checks the kids obsessively for bugs and nits), we have seen enough in the past year to make Goldie a semi expert in handling these things, so she was able to show Chaia what to do. To Chaia’s credit, she did not react as emotionally as Goldie had in our first case and after that one time she was able to handle things on her own.

Over Shabbat we hosted a very nice young couple from down our block, the Schurders (she is from Boston and he grew up in Israel but was born in England) and their kids who have become friends with out little kids (Batya and Mordechai) over the summer.

I haven’t written about it before, but we have made a serious effort at getting back involved socially in the community. As new Olim, we had been invited out a lot in the first six months as the community really opened its arms to us and all the new families. Once we finally began to get our legs underneath us, we had started to reciprocate and host guests in our home when Goldie’s medical issues began and we became somewhat withdrawn as we focused on Goldie’s day to day health and dealing with her issues (including 2 months spent in NJ for diagnosis, treatment and recovery).

Once Goldie felt strong enough, we decided to start slowly, by inviting guests for Seudah Shlishit (the 3rd Shabbat meal) and buying all the food from the bagel store. In fact, our first guests (in June), the Aftels, would not consent to come until I assured them that Goldie would NOT be cooking or doing anything other than set the table and that she really WAS ready to host them.

Seudah Shlishit became lunch a few weeks later and we tried to have at least one family over each week, to get ourselves back into circulation, so to speak. It wasn’t until a few days after the Schurder’s had joined us that I realized what set them apart from all the others who we had either been hosted by or had hosted.

There had previously been people from two different groups that we had interacted with in the past. There were those who invited us simply because we were new in town and they were being welcoming (which in our community has been taken to a whole new level, especially because the vast majority of our neighbors have gone through the same thing we have in such a life changing move). The other group is people who knew us at some time in our lives in America and are reconnecting now that we have been reunited here. These groups are not mutually exclusive.

The Schurder’s represented a third group. They’ve been our neighbors since we moved in (we leave at opposite ends of the same block), and we recognized each other enough to (maybe) say Hi or Shabbat Shalom as we passed each other in the street, yet we weren’t friendly with them until our kids got to be friends in camp this summer.

We didn’t become friendly because we were new olim or they were new olim and one of us was going out of our way to be nice to the “new” people. Which is a first for us since we moved here. Hopefully it will continue.

Actually, there is another family that we wanted to get closer to as well. They have a son in Mordechai’s class (both last year and this upcoming year) and they really seem like very nice people. The problem? They don’t speak English and we are too unconfident in our Hebrew to think about hosting them for a meal. We envision long pauses where we just sit there because we are each uncomfortable with our inability to communicate.

Ironically, it is only the adults who would have this issue, since our kids (with the exception of Chaim) speak enough Hebrew to make this a non issue for them.

Eretz HaTzvi’s new students arrived on Wednesday. We are one of the earliest starting non-charedi Anglo Yeshivot in Israel. Elul is slipping by quite quickly and we wanted to get the earliest jump on the year that we could. I have been through this before with last year’s group so the process is not nearly as new to me as it was last year.

Yet this year we had none of the frenetic activity we experienced a year ago. Thank G-d, no war this year. My boss was not in the army for the month before Yeshiva started and there were no major renovations to preside over as a new employee. I wasn’t a new Oleh, fresh off the plane and as an old hand, I was much better prepared to meet the new students.

Without the rush rush rush of last minute preparations, the whole year opening process had a different flavor this time around and for the most part it went off without a hitch. The guys arrived on time with all their luggage, we took our first tiyul (trip) to the Kotel, they were sorted into their shiurim (classes) and the zman (semester?) is off to a great start.

As opposed to last year I actually know the guys who returned for Shana Bet (a second year of study) which added to my personal excitement in greeting the students. I also happen to know the parents of several of this year’s young men, both from Chicago (where I grew up) or NY (where we lived for 15 years prior to Aliyah), and greeting these students made me feel a bit older than I used to.

The day after the Yeshiva guys arrived Chaim and Aliza flew home as well, having ended their stays at camp this summer.

They had originally been scheduled to return the following week in order to spend additional time with Goldie’s parents and also see my parents who were coming to NY for a wedding later that week. However, about a month ago we got a letter from Aliza’s new school, Chorev, telling us that school would be starting earlier this year.

In order to get Aliza to her orientation, we moved her flight up 5 days and scheduled her to arrive on Thursday afternoon so that I could meet her at the airport and take her straight to the orientation. This meant that I would miss some of the Yeshiva orientation but we do what we have to, don’t we?

I took the van to work that morning, planning to go straight from the Yeshiva in order to maximize my work time. On my drive in, I called Goldie and asked her to check the El Al website to see if maybe the plane would be a few minutes early or late. In retrospect, I should have thought to do so a lot earlier.

Apparently, there was some kind of problem with the ventilation system and the plane ended up leaving five hours late and was not scheduled to arrive until later that evening. Not only did Aliza end up missing her orientation, but I had taken the car with me to Yerushalayim for no reason – leaving Goldie without transportation, three cranky kids and nothing to do with them. You can imagine how thrilled she was when she called me to tell me about the delay.

I recommended she call the school to let them know that Aliza would be missing and ask for her class assignment and that they send home any materials with a neighbor of ours. When she called them they were incredibly upset with her as if it were her fault the plane was delayed.

I was incredulous. After all, had they given us more than three weeks warning about the opening date for school, we might have been able to get her onto a flight that came in a little earlier. What did they expect us to do? We got her on the flight that had space and it was delayed. Sometimes I think I will never understand Israelis. They put us in a tough spot and should have been more understanding.

Luckily, Yaacov Lewis (Cedarhurst) was on the plane with them and lent them his cellphone to call me and let me know that they arrived safely and that the luggage was slow in coming out. Danny Block (Chashmonaim) was also on that flight so we had an impromptu meeting of the 5TJT Israeli Columnists Association in the reception area just outside customs.

I also bumped into Yamin Goldsmith there. Yamin and I had been classmates in elementary school together (we even had Bar Mitzva lessons together) and he and his family live in Nofei Aviv, the next neighborhood over from ours, a ten minute walk away. He runs the Sha’alavim girls program in Yerushalayim and was there to meet their group flight 5 hours late. I am not in the airport for our group arrival, and it was interesting to see how they set up for the girls.

It was nice to have the kids home. We are still missing Chaya, who left a month after the other 2 kids and is staying through their original return date. So we weren’t a complete family yet. However, Goldie had a chance to make their favorite foods and I got my chance to be mean and keep them up to avoid jet lag, so I guess everything ended up as expected.

Next week promises to be stressful too. Chaya comes home. We have to find a Yeshiva for Chaim to learn in and school starts for most of the kids (Mordechai is starting first grade!) as well. Although the calendar said we started Year Two almost two months ago, in reality, as parents of young kids we measure our years by the school year. So Year Two should begin next week.

It is a tremendously different beginning than the one we had a year ago.

i) We understand what people are talking about when we go to parent and/or shul meetings. ii) Our kids (OK – the younger 4 or 5) speak great Hebrew, usually better than their parents do. iii) We are more mentally prepared for school this year, having learned to have absolutely zero preconceptions and expectations about any facet of the educational system here. iv) We are still here – which counts the most.

So, after the big summer lull things should be flying in typical Katz fashion yet again.